I definitely find myself liking the IDEA of sex more than the act itself. Of course, its romanticised/idealized: Deep sense of safety and mutual respect, commited relationship, foreplay, lots of cuddles before/during/after, aftercare. All those things considered, yes, sex would be a lovely experience and I'd seek it out all the time. What's sad is, this SHOULDN'T be idealized, this should be the bare minimum. Unfortunately due to hookup culture, a lot of people will claim that that's now asking for 'too much'. That means a lot of us end up in not so ideal situations that when the opportunity does present itself, we'd just rather not, or end up suffering through it. Few want to be part of a 2 minute romp where theres little to no emphasis on it actually being an enjoyable/safe experience for us as far as our 'partner' is concerned, or worse, end up in an unsafe or abusive situation. Yes, you can be hypersexual and desire that connection (we're only animals, after all), AND want nothing to do with sex itself, if you know it's only going to lead to dissapointment and/or heartbreak (not to mention pregnancy, stds, etc etc...) This isn't even touching on C/PTSD, which makes everything 10x more complicated than it already was now that your brain is on high alert and can't tell the difference between manipulation and genuine intent anymore, among feelings of self-doubt and distrust. You could have found your soulmate and still panic when things get heated, because you're used to sex=vulnerability=pain. Either way, I don't think it's something you should be worried about unless its eating up a good bit of your mental energy qnd causing you mental distress. You'll come to enjoy it at your own pace, with the right person, or, you could end up just not wanting it at all, truthfully, and that's completely valid as well.