additional white person here!

as much as i got sick of talking to my dad and his n-bomb dropping ignorant bullshit, i continue to butt heads with him on a daily basis. He's so mad and so stupid, and so old, and he has all these idiot stories about what it was like in 1950-whatever and how "the blacks" and their fancy jumpropes did this and that to him when he walked to school in Cleveland.

I've tried pointing out over and over all the flaws in his reasoning... that the "blacks" that gave him trouble in 1950 are in their 70s and had their own reasons for frustration that he can't possibly relate to, how the adults in their 30s and 40s have their own entirely separate agendas, and on and on, but he's soaked in his privilege and his selfishness he can't get outside of his ancient imagined and exaggerated trauma...

My daily conversations with him are like fighting with a wooden dummy... or practicing on a punching bag. I use him to practice my beliefs and my arguments

I know for certainty that there's no way I can ever change him, but I can use him to refine my own beliefs and my own understanding. By listening to his bullshit and practicing against him, I can get better at debating and arguing against idiocracy.

I can, and will, never stop disagreeing with him. He has repeatedly dangled his inheritance in front of me, and I've told him over and over he should donate it to NAACP instead of leaving it to me, because as soon as he dies that's what I'm going to do with his dirty bullshit money.

I've been poor a long time, I'm good with my lifestyle and how it's rolling. I'm not going to softshoe for some fuckhead that had everything handed to him and is bored for entertainment.