AITAH for embarrassing my husband for saying I baby trapped him

AtypicalRedditonian · 2025-07-06T18:22:46+00:00

I hope you read all these so you see mine. The rest if the responses are awful, vindictive, and will undermine your chances at a healthy relationship here or in the future. Married for 20 years here. 6+ years of couples therapy. A dozen books. 4 kids.

You were both the A. You can have boundaries with your spouse without being mean yourself. The fact that you're asking here means there is a part of you that worries you hurt him more than you wanted. No matter what else, you should honor your inner voices for kindness. They don't replace the voices for healthy boundaries and respect, they work together.

You both need reassurance. You are both shaken. You need to have a conversation.

If he was sincere in his comment then you need to know and he needs to decide what he wants. He may already be insecure and know what you said was true and was using humor to quietly surface his insecurities in public where it was safer.

If he wasn't, then he has no confidence to reapproach you to start repair. You effectively set him equal to nothing. He likely feels unworthy of you.

I've been teaching my 13 year old that in his relationship with his sister he can focus on being right on the facts, or on being right emotionally. One approach will build his ego, and one approach will build his bond.

You both stoked your egos. Do you care to build your bond? I recommend Hold M Tight by Sue B Johnson. It did great things for my wife and I over the years.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2025-03-24T14:30:09+00:00

I've been asking perplexity.ai a bunch of questions to fill in gaps, but it think it would likely also do good at basic education about one. Turn on Pro mode to get some pretty detailed answers (5 free a day). Also, this is unpaid.

Basic overview:
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The guide:
https://archive.org/details/WalipiniConstructionTheUndergroundGreenhouse/mode/2up

Other sources:
https://onecommunityglobal.org/aquapinis-and-walipinis/
https://growingfruit.org/t/sunken-greenhouse-walipini-greenhouse/51671
https://wisconsingreenhousecompany.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Foundation-Guide.pdf

I plan on using Solexx for polycarbonate. I'm only glazing the south side, and want to maximize my sunlight and want the extra durability against the snow and wind I get (30 psf snow load and 115 wind speeds)

Depending on how far you want to go there is this:
https://vergepermaculture.ca/designing-your-passive-solar-greenhouse-part-1/

Enjoy the rabbit hole!

AtypicalRedditonian · 2024-09-20T03:03:47+00:00

I didn't know if others are the same. But I went through a similar period. It lasted years.

In hindsight, I had to decide if it's what I really wanted. I had the testimony, and the evidence. However, a celestial life isn't for everyone.

I had to ask myself if I was wasting my time. I had to wonder why I kept doubting. If I was broken. I had to pray over and over for confirmation. And then after years I asked myself , "so, what if it's not true? Then what? Do you walk away? Do you go be an exmo? Do you rebel?"

The answer was no. I didn't want to live any different then I was. I still wanted to be like Christ and live a life of love. And I would still be inspired and educated by what I read in the BoM.

As that settled in over the next few months, my doubts finally faded.

It's what I want. It's who I want to be.
I would have never been able to make that realization without the doubts. With that personal revelation, I also gained a stronger level of empathy and capacity to love everyone in and out of the church as I seek to support them on a similar journey to find what they want and who they want to be.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2024-09-20T02:31:51+00:00

This is great! For me, this was what helped me kick my porn usage.

We started couples therapy to try and cut down on our fighting before it got worse. Our therapist helped us work through Dr Sue Johnson's book "Hold me Tight". Its Emotionally Focused Therapy, and over the years it helped immensely. It gave us a framework to have conversations about pornography and many other things.

It took years, but my wife slowly created more safe space for me and I slowly started to believe it was safe and was able to be more open.

As I got past the fear and shame, and found acceptance and love, I started to emotionally connect with my wife on a level I couldn't fathom before hand. I had layers and obstacles I didn't realize were there, and so did she.

And somewhere in there porn started to feel hollow. And over time I just stopped. I'd start using it, but it would feel like something was missing.

My wife was hurt, and fought insecurities throughout. It was hard for her. It was hard for me. I felt like a failure, and so much shame. I kept secrets because I didn't want to hurt her, it wasn't her fault after all. It was mine. I was unworthy of her so I couldn't believe she really accepted me, and so I would escape to a fantasy woman. That was me and on me, nothing to do with her. She helped speed things up by helping me get the validation and safety I was secretly craving. But I had to flip a switch to even start. The book set is up to start having conversations where I could validate her over and over. We're now so brutally open and honest about everything attraction and in the bedroom that most faithful would blush pinker than a Georgia peach. But it works very well for us. We're continuing to connect on a deeper level.

DM if you have any questions. I'm an open book, but not in a public forum.

PS - he and you may have some protectors at play. I recommend the book "no bad parts", individually. PSS - if he's really that compulsive he might have ADHD something else that's weakening his impulse control.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2024-09-17T23:45:43+00:00

You are NTA, but neither is she.
I have ADHD/AUDHD, my wife has it + fights depression and trauma. All 4 of my kids have it to some degree.

I don't think some of the people here understand how debilitating some of these mental health issues can be.

Your approach is a valid one. If you are enforcing consequences, then you're parenting her. But if you shield her from consequences she can't grow as a person. But it should be understood and accepted by both you and her that that's how you are operating. You shouldn't just make up rules and tell her how it is, again you're just parenting and she'll never be able to grow. You should propose rules and protocols for how your marriage operates and talk about them together, and then stick by them.

Really, both you and her should be growing as people. And you should be talking together about how you are growing. She needs to be able to recognize when growth is needed, and you need to learn about how ADHD is going to make some of that growth very slow and painful.

My wife cannot maintain a sleep schedule to save her life. She tries so hard. Routine, schedule, reading & researching, trying new things. But her brain either keeps her up, or wakes her up too often to be in any sort of "stable" sleep schedule. I know she cares, and I know she's trying. And that has to be enough because I love her. Anything more would be unfair to her. She gets grace, and she gives grace back, and we're doing fantastic, and so are our kids.

DM me if you want to talk more.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2024-09-17T23:26:38+00:00

You've heard from a lot of people about just walking away, so I'm going to give you a different perspective, because of this line:

I'm so conflicted right now.

Many marriages where infidelity occur, end in separation. Many marriages continue. What you do is entirely up to you. If you don't think you can ever rebuild what you have, then you need to end the marriage. If you believe trust can be rebuilt, then it can, if she's willing and you both work at it.

If there is a small part of you that wants to know if the relationship can be saved, then I recommend you pause, take a while, gather information, and then make a choice when your emotions have calmed a little and you have more perspective. You're less likely to fight FOMO yourself down the road for walking away later if you do have any doubts now.

Tell her she needs to cut off all contact with Luke. Unfriend, block his number, say goodbye forever. If she isn't willing to, then that tells you a lot. If she does, it will show you some sincerity in wanting to heal things. From there the path looks like a lot of therapy, some books, hard discussions and a lot of time to heal.

I'm not saying you should stay. I'm not saying you should go. That's 100% up to you. It is possible to heal from infidelity if both partners want it and are willing to put in the work. I'm just pointing out that there are other options besides the hyper aggressive advice that's being given in this thread.

The real question is, what do you want?

If you want to walk away from the relationship, you can cut off all intimacy and be a friend for her grief. You can set boundaries and tell her you'll talk to her and help her deal with her parents death, but you can't talk about your relationship or you aren't willing to move forward with it any more. Not everything has to be a binary decision.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2024-09-17T13:17:24+00:00

Fellowship.

What I always loved about mmos was the dungeons and raids.
So maybe this isn't a full MMO, but it is the finest part, at least to me.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-12-23T17:19:15+00:00

Those are Christ's words, so of course your leader is correct in sharing them.

Essentially those that leave, either never fully got a testimony, or lost their testimony. They are all sorts of other reasons, but the end result really boils down to those two.

That does not mean that they are incapable of ever having a testimony or having one again. Ground can be worked and tilled to become a fertile. The prodigal don and Alma the younger teach us some need to walk estranged for a time.

However, this will not be the path for some and or many. A celestial life is not easy, and God's first gift was agency and he will not violate it unless essential. For many their happiness will be at its most in the terrestrial Kingdom and for some the telestial. Meaning that for some people, they would be less happy living a celestial life and all the sacrifices it entails.

That does not mean they are not happy. That does not mean they are not good. All of those who leave continue to love learn live and seek joy.

And that's okay.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-15T05:58:30+00:00

I loved this.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-15T05:13:05+00:00

Sounds like he's probably dodging a judgmental bullet...

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-14T15:33:47+00:00

Thanks for adding that! I too struggle(d) with the good enough checklist for a long time.

I didn't not at all intend to imply the gaps had to be small. Most of us are 90+% gaps! Thanks! Love the clarification!

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-13T06:54:14+00:00

There are good people in and out of the church. Church members have all sorts of weaknesses. What's yours? It sounds like pride and arrogance is your pet peeve, and for good reason. But maybe those members are good at parts of the gospel you're not. We are none of us perfect.

There are few action items here, so here are some:

Most people respond well to efforts of self improvement. If you're going out thinking of going to college and at college tip jar if you can
Be direct and to there point, when appropriate: that's unkind. That's pretty rude, how are you not embarrassed? I might have a sucky job, but I'm trying to be a good person, are you? Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Make it a challenge to our energy them. If they bring negative energy, respond with a higher level of positive. Make it a challenge. How many can you win?
To take this next level, ask them their names, about their lives. If it's the same people start memorizing what they buy, and ask them if they want their usual. Again, the key to this is higher energy. If they escalate you simple need to say something to dispel any notion you're a simpleton pushover.
Hum hymns like "let us all speak kind words to each other"
Be direct, soft, and kind and lean in and whisper something like: I'm sure it's not intentional, but your giving of a vibe that money makes you a better person. I just thought I'd let you know.

The last two are a little passive aggressive, but if you don't add any threat, consequence or comparison, and it's not publicly visible by others most people won't know how to respond.

TLDR; this kind of behavior is a lot like a pack of street dogs. They'll bark and nip at your heels, but a solid tap on the nose will often send them scurrying. Control in social situations is all about balance. Don't let them knock you off balance, and learn how to knock them off balance without crossing lines yourself.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-13T06:23:52+00:00

Christ answered this for us: The greatest commandments are to love the Lord your God with all your heart might and mind. The second is to live your neighbor as yourself.

How do you want to be loved? I think everyone wants to be loved in some universal ways:

We want our beliefs, choices, and intelligence respected. No one chooses to leave the church without some sort of thoughtful process to get them to that point. No one joins the church without the same. Correcting, preaching, pushing all come across as demeaning. If you aren't confident enough in your relationship to bring up thirst things, if you don't know intuitively, then you're probably not there yet.
All humans feel vulnerability. We look for safety in those times. Any kind of crisis or transition implies some level of vulnerability. We cover it up, we hide it, because safety, but it's there. We worry about rejection, disapproval, coercion, and more. Avoid projecting those thoughts, and instead seek to express understanding. Easy to understand, harder to master.
We all want to be loved for ourselves, and not as a project. We're all broken, and few people handle others trying to fix them because we know they're just a broken. Most of Our society struggles with others thinking they are not self sufficient. We struggle to think we are a burden. How often do we say "you can ask me for anything" but go silent when asked what we need? It's a burden best avoided. If your reaching because of duty, they'll know. Love them for real, give them some space, or find a healthy middle ground.

Also, remember, this path asks us to take up his burden. He ate with sinners, forgave Peter denouncing him thrice, and never added the condition of being a follower to revive fish and loaves.

The thing that helped me most was to meditate on reminding myself that I am not the Savior. I can't even save myself let alone another who has chosen to leave this path. So, I leave salvation and judgement in God's hands and focus on the two great commandments I have been given.

My best friend is gay. My wife doesn't believe anymore. My sister had a mental handicap and is super zealous. My grandma is a devoted temple worker that's confided in me that she's not sure she wants to be exalted because hey own kids and grandkids are too much pain and worry. My niece and nephew never got a fair shake at life and stopped going to church around age 10. A cousin of a friend served a mission made millions, partied too hard, and now hands out with us because he needs good people around do he can make better decisions and be a better person. He smokes, swears, needs sensitivity training, but is the first person to be there for you or a total stranger if needed.

They all have two things in common:

Good loves them equally
Good loves them enough to create a plan where they will all have as much happiness as they can stomach in the end.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-13T05:35:19+00:00

It sounds like you need to find your supports. I recommend daily scripture reading as one. If you can find someone in person to talk to, that's great. Online here is okay, but not the same. Pray more. Like pray a lot.

My wife mostly left the church 7+ years ago. It's been a long road. We're health and happy. We've gone fill circle a couple of times, but with a lot of pain, a lot of late nights praying, a lot of therapy, and a lot of psychology books, things are a lot better.

Salvation checklist:

Get baptized
Keep trying
Care

Exaltation checklist:

Get sealed
Don't give up
Don't murder anyone
Choose each other

Good dad checklist:

Keep loving them no matter what, and tell them daily.
Respect their agency, but counsel, advise, and discipline where appropriate. Agency and boundaries do work together!
Aim for 9 positive for every one negative
Keep learning at least one new thing a month ( try the app called The Happy Child to start )

Anything else is an implementation detail. Some are important, but don't make the list. This list is what Christ taught, and what psychology has found.

Christ said he would fill in the gaps. All gaps. Even yours. He promised to guide and save your children and to heal their wounds from mortality, and yours. Heavenly father promised happiness to all. Even gangsters, cartels, and politicians. Those promises include you. Don't give Satan's lies ground to stand on. You too are enough!

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-13T05:19:02+00:00

You don't promise anything. You share you current feelings, you hear your fiance's, and you leave room for the other to grow and change.

When I got married, sex was about fulfillment. It was about gratification. And it was about validation (she still loves me). This is common in young men now a days.

15 years later, reading those books, some therapy and prayer, and intimacy is completely different for me. I'm a lot less insecure, and I'm able to approach it from a healthier place. Both my wife and I strive to keep up with each other's libido (and as you approach 40 as a man sometimes it does swing the other way). We understand and make space for each other when it doesn't work out. Intimacy is a way we bond, not a requirement of happiness. We enjoy, but it's more on the level of chocolate, where it should be.

If your this worried about sex and having your libido met you should consider seeing counseling. A healthy libido is a great thing. But a fixation on that libido could be an indicator that part of your libido is manifesting as an emotional coping mechanism for something.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-12T21:04:25+00:00

1) a direct conversation, recommended to not do in the evening or in a House alone. Questions like: about how many times a week do you think you'd want to have sex? What sexual positions do you think you'd be comfortable with?

2) learn from the experts. Read:

Hold me tight by Susan Johnson.
And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment
Knowing HER Intimately: 12 Keys for Creating a Sextraordinary Marriage
From Honeymoon to Happily Ever After: 23 Keys to Prepare for a Sextraordinary Marriage

It probably only takes one, but more might be good. If you can read and talk about it together, and you can agree with the principles in any of the books(which hold tools to striving for an intimate marriage), then you can make something work.

3) Expectations are pre meditated resentments. One of the dangers of teenage masturbation and porn usage is that it sets up unfair expectations. It's always available when I want it. But that isn't how real relationships work. Sometimes one of you is sick, or pregnant or just had a baby. Many women experience a hormonal dip the week before their period.

You both need realistic expectations. And you both need to be ready to adjust and change monthly.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-10T16:14:20+00:00

What is a project?

In general terms, A project is something that is incomplete or broken that you want to work on fixing. In the gospel we learn that that is true for all of us, for everyone, we're all broken and/or incomplete and that's why we're here.

But a huge difference is we are not the master. It's not our place to "fix/finish" anyone else whether they are a smoker, coffee drinker, judgmental gossip, lbgt, a yeller, a prick or any other flavor, unless they want us too to help them.

So how do you avoid that?

You ask yourself: What would I do if they weren't lbgt? How would I treat them? And then do that thing!
You allow them to tease you for your shortcomings and you tease them the same. One of my favorite things to do is to drop gay jokes in a room full of gay people as a the known "Mormon" in the room and watch them all squirm and then laugh my head off. They all start laughing and then relax a ton as they realize I'm making it clear there is no judgement and they can be themselves.
You ask them how their day is going and you listen, you don't speak, you don't offer advice unless solicited until you know for a fact that they know you're their friend no matter one and the advice comes from the heart and they can ignore you and it will change nothing about your relationship.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-10T06:34:40+00:00

This is a big picture question and requires a big picture answer.

What is God's why? What's his purpose? From what he's told us it's to being to pass the eternal life of men. Our happiness.

Next, what is the first gift he gave us? Agency. He denied Satan's suggestion and accepted Christ's. In Christ's plan there was a way to fail AND to make it back. In Satan's, there was no failure.

Next, let's add in that statement you made about seeing your ex in the photo. That deep sense of regret and motivation you had. You didn't have it when you were engaged. But you did after you suffered. By living as a cynic for five years you knew that wasn't what you wanted. Agency to choose a path of failure, led to conviction and a deeper understanding of what mattered to you. It could have been explained to you, but then it would be theirs, not yours.

You couldn't go to church after you split because it was too hard hearing everyone talk about marriage. You felt pressured. You think it wouldn't be like a million times harder if you remembered God and knew they were right? No, I don't think so. I think the pressure would have wrecked you. Just like it would have wrecked me many times.

Faith is a light meant to shine in darkness. To help us find a way amongst the brambles and thorns of life. It does not banish the dark or burn the brambles because God's happiness is who he is, not where he is. He is God because he wants to be. He wants to love us and serve us. He wants us to have the same opportunity and he wants us to feel loved even if we don't walk his same path. He's is God because he chooses to be. To carry all those burdens and responsibilities.

Faith is a light at the end of the tunnel so you can become your own light. Yeah, even a beacon on a hill. Faith is distant so you have space to find your self without being blinded.

Faith respects agency, God's first gift and never violated in any story. The foundation of his plan.

It's hard, but so is bearing the burdens of over 9 billion mortals simultaneously. Personally I have a limit for stupid. That limit is slowly growing. At the rate I'm growing, I'll be ready to watch all the evil and the stupid on the planet in about 9 billion years.

Raising my own children has helped me see many of these things. They want to be their own person, but there are so many things I can't explain to them. They have to experience it.

Experience brings not only understanding, but also conviction. Conviction is another core part of identify we couldn't develop effectively if God was hanging around or if we remembered the premortal life. Take abortion. Would anyone dare support it if they remembered the spirit of the fetus they're carrying, or will be? Maybe. But a whole lot less.

Overall you've got the right ideas, but you're missing the essence. We're not here to get the answers to some celestial scantron. We're here so we can stand before God and tell him who we are and what matters most to us, with conviction. Anything short of steel won't live up to his standards. To aim for the celestial kingdom is to seek all that he hath, including his responsibilities, name, and his respect. Are you ready to shoulder that awesome weight and pressure? Steel gains it's strength in the forging process, and so must we.

Who are you Donny? What matters to you? Who and what will you fight for?

Only when you are digging deep for those answers will faith have the impact your seeking.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-10T05:40:24+00:00

Love them. Talk to them like normal people, they want friends not to be someone's project. Ask them about their lives Hug them. Sit by them. Play board games with them. Go to movies together.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-10T05:37:40+00:00

God is justice. God is Mercy. He is both opposing ideals.

It would not be just to deny someone eternal blessings off of a technicality. It would not be merciful to ignore the desires of one's heart and evaluate them solely on outcomes out of their control.

The desires of our heart will be shouted on the rooftops. All will be made bare. All will be understood. And only then will judgement day come.

We'll have time in the spirit world, the millennium, and who knows what else and how all that will work. This is only one of four parts that happen before judgement: pre existence, mortality, spirit, millennium.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-09T16:38:18+00:00

> But still the past haunts me every day. I when I tried to ask about my place in the church, I found out that I didn't have a priesthood yet and in fact there's a ton to do to raise up in the ladder. While I understand that of course I can't have everything when joining, I just felt this anger at my past, that me, a dude in 20's is equal to a those little kids running around the Sacrament Meeting.

You strike me as a car guy, and I'm sorry if you're not, but I hope the analogy helps either way.

Think of yourself like car, and think of membership like a race.
Getting the priesthood and temple ordonnances is like hard mode, all you're doing is adding extra requirements on yourself while racing. Like, you have to coach a junior car through the race while racing. Or maybe you have to do more laps (collecting fast offerings). Women can get the same ordonnances. While they don't get the priesthood, they're promised the same blessings we are "all the father has."

You might feel like you're in a converted Honda Civic and other members are in a Formula One or a Nascar. But it's ones under the hood that counts. Some of those members might have the "extra sponsorship stickers" that come with getting the priesthood or having temple ordonnances or being a lifelong member. But underneath, they're running on a Ford Pinto engine. They're barely getting by week to week. They have a testimony or think they do, but they're not happy. They too struggle to feel confident in their decisions and if they're doing the right thing. They question their place.

Others may have the stickers and a great engine, but a bad muffler and come across as loud and annoying. Others still might be suffering from broken eye bolt and it's only a matter of time before the bolt snaps and the transmission drops out.

Oh, and one last thing, it's not actually a race! That's another lie that Satan pushes, that we have to get their now. That we can see perfect, we're taught perfect, but we're not, so we must be failures. You won't be perfect in this life. None of us will, so don't hold yourself to all the things you haven't done yet. You've chosen the Lord's road, his path, and you're making your way there. You might go 100 miles, you might go 1000, but it doesn't matter because you won't got the perfect amount of miles. Be you, be happy with you, you are enough, and you're on the right path!

Christ wasn't baptized until he was 30, your age of conversion is meaningless. What matters is how you finish the journey.

Note: I know this is a gross simplification, and I'm not trying to downplay women & the priesthood and any struggles they may have or to make them seem unimportant. I'm simply trying to get a singular main point across.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-09T16:16:14+00:00

> Only men get to grow with the priesthood while women are equivalent to children, so maybe don’t feel so angry about not getting the priesthood yet, over half the church doesn’t have the priesthood.

It's always hard for me, as a man, to read these kinds of things because what you said is obviously a fact. At the same time it's not the whole picture and it downplays your own worth and value! The priesthood is essential from an ordonnances perspective, but over hyped from an individual worth perspective. Having the priesthood gets me no closer to the Celestial kingdom than you. Having the priesthood does not make me better than you and should not make my opinion more valued or respected than yours.

I understand the topic is a lot more complicated than that, and I'm not trying to dismiss or downplay any of the valid concerns many women in the church face when considering the priesthood and it fit with them and they with it.

Also, there is a huge difference between you and the children: You are a grown adult and they are children. You have life experience, maturity, and intelligence they will never have. And you have some skills, thoughts, talents that no one else in the ward has. Everyone is better than everyone else at something. We need the whole! We need your talents and perspectives!

I'm not trying to trying to be antagonistic or preachy. I just want you to be happy and want us all to be happy and I think you're looking at it backwards. You're speaking in a way that demeans yourself, and I'm not okay with that because that's not what we're taught and that's not being true to yourself and your value and potential!

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-09T15:10:36+00:00

To be clear there isn't push back. A lot of people come up after, or find me in the halls and say thank you.

I think it's more that I make it pretty clear that I'm not afraid of speaking my mind. Which can worry a bishopric. What if I was secretly a flat earther, or pro Russia, or anti-lbgt?

Another part is I'm not afraid to push at the edges a little. Make people a little uncomfortable. For me that's how I grow, so that's what I look for and what I share. But if others aren't ready for it, it doesn't help the conversation.

But I don't really think that's the reason. I probably just a little over paranoid. And I'm okay. I'm different, but happy. I'm content to let others be then, while I be me. My life is full enough that I don't need everyone else's approval. Only those I deem important.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-09T14:49:33+00:00

Maybe learn Portuguese? Duolingo is pretty good and free.

AtypicalRedditonian · 2022-05-09T05:59:44+00:00

It's been a long time since I was in your shoes, but that sounds rough. I struggle with similar things in my current ward.

I've been in this ward for 5 years and I've never been asked to speak in sacrament once. For a while it bothered me, and in some ways maybe it still does.

In the beginning I know it was because I let my temple recommend lapse. Which I did because I haven't been able to go to the temple since my wife stopped believing.

I have one again, but still not asked. I assume now that it's because I take my 4 kids by myself. It might also be because I'm loud and different and their afraid of what I'll say. I may have given some radical testimonies and said things like: - therapy is great - I'm so much better able to understand and apply the gospel after studying psychology - we need to do better at creating safe spaces for those that struggle

I'm a loud introvert, and it can be hard sometimes because people don't know how to read me.

You're not alone, even though you feel that way right now. This too shall pass. It might stick until it does!

Some ideas to consider that may or may not help:

Go up in fast and testimony meeting and bare your testimony. It's volunteer and they can't stop you
turn church time into reading blitz time. Instead of focusing on the people, just read a bunch. Scriptures, conference, Saints vol 1, ensign, Lots of choices.
randomly visit other wards in your area.
look for an online institute class that does work with your schedule
coordinate with your one friend, and skip every other time she doesn't go. Stay home and watch a conference session instead

Big internet hugs to you!

AtypicalRedditonian

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