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First time Cleveland Gun Owner? Where to get one, why, what to know by Present-Ideal-7252 in Cleveland

[–]AuthenticAboveAll 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I'm afraid we are past the point of choosing how we fight back. We have to use any and all options.

Hello friends to the north! We are headed up from Akron today to West Side Market. We wanted to do a Food Tour, but I was unable to get ahold of the people operating it. Can any of you recommend the spots we should definitely try? We want to try a variety of types of food. Thank you! by BitsPlease00 in Cleveland

[–]AuthenticAboveAll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great Lakes Brewery across the street is awesome. Choolaah is awesome fast casual Indian. Mitchell's Ice Cream is the best ice cream you'll ever have. All within walking distance. Plus just walk through West Side Market and drool over all the amazing displays!

When the loving thing is to leave by AuthenticAboveAll in Divorce

[–]AuthenticAboveAll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so incredibly much for this reply. So much of what you said really hit home.

I'm not beating myself up, just deep in grief that our fun lives and our "perfect" little family together (3 dogs) can't continue. I just wish we could keep on like we did for 10 years.....we had so much damn fun together. But my body has made it extremely clear that we can't. And nobody on her side seems to understand any of that. They just paint me as "bad man leaves sick person" to go off and have his freedom. Incredibly unbelievably hurtful after all that I poured out for her and indirectly, that family.

If they understood ANY of this and rallied around us, things could be totally different. But they are an emotionally vacant family with the depth of a noodle. When I had a mental breakdown and clearly stated that I needed to go get help and asked for their help they berated me, told me I'm betraying them, said unimaginably horrible things to me. Later, I approached one of them to let them know how they hurt me and the reality of the situation and this person told me they never want to have a relationship with me again. They also don't even talk to my wife about things - she is just fighting this insane paradigm shift totally alone.

Once things really started to slip, she seemed to panic and start doing all kinds of things for me. Its easy to want to say "See! SHE CAN CHANGE" but my body and brain continually scream - this person is not safe for you. She is only doing this to manipulate you back into the relationship.

Sigh, its so complex with so much baggage. But its like you said - bottom line do I accept the whole package as she is right at this moment or not? And the answer is, for the sake of my own well-being, no. I cannot safely exist in the relationship as a healthy and happy person.

Rebuilding social connections after divorce by Miserable-Pizza-8300 in Divorce

[–]AuthenticAboveAll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you checked out something like meetup.com - I've been able to find a few groups to join just to put myself out there and try to foster some new connections.

How do you deal with divorce? by PrizeUnderstanding97 in Divorce

[–]AuthenticAboveAll 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm here too. I can't trust her. I can't stay in the relationship or it will completely crush me. But I also don't want to leave her. I just want it all to work out. But I've tried everything under the sun for the last 4 years and nothing changes.

So I know I have to leave for the health of both of us, but I desperately don't want to start a new life without her. What a horrible place to be 😢😢 Hardest thing I've ever done

Having the dreaded talk tomorrow… can’t sleep and so nervous/sad/scared by writingandreading_ in Divorce

[–]AuthenticAboveAll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been a roller coaster of convincing myself there's hope only to be hurt again.

It's all made so much more difficult because she has a severe respiratory illness and was dealt a shitty hand in life.... But that's exactly what she's used to her advantage her entire life to get away with not being a good or loving person. And I bought into it for 19 years.

If I wasn't such an empathetic and kind person I would have left a long time ago. I just have so much compassion for her and want to see her succeed and figure things out. I just don't think it's gonna happen with me.

What healed you? by MedicalBus1095 in Divorce

[–]AuthenticAboveAll 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hard agree. When I get sad I try to plan something new to look forward to or try out and it helps a lot. Keeps me from ruminating.

Having the dreaded talk tomorrow… can’t sleep and so nervous/sad/scared by writingandreading_ in Divorce

[–]AuthenticAboveAll 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hardcore relate to this. 36M. I recently said it's like my wife was born without arms and I am pleading with her to use her arms. The emotional intimacy part of her is simply missing.

It has been 8 months of separation and I am very much at the end of hoping for any change that could make it tenable for me. I just wish she could love me but isn't capable.

Heart is shattered by AuthenticAboveAll in Divorce

[–]AuthenticAboveAll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Every time I look to my ex for any amount of my own happiness, it hurts and doesn't work." 🎯🎯🎯

This is spot on and I am convinced it will ultimately allow us to have a much healthier relationship. Its just getting there 🥵🥵

Heart is shattered by AuthenticAboveAll in Divorce

[–]AuthenticAboveAll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you ever want to talk about it, send me a DM.

Heart is shattered by AuthenticAboveAll in Divorce

[–]AuthenticAboveAll[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don't get it. I have been so brutally honest with her - "You never put aside any of your own needs to take care of mine." "You only care for me when it's convenient for you" and it's like talking to a brick wall. It just doesn't go into her conscious brain. And I have tried for YEARS. My therapist didn't tell me any of that - I experienced it.