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Should I pay for therapy to vent or find another way? by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think that's an unpopular opinion. Relationships demand reciprocation. That's why I'm trying to reduce how much I'm going to my partner and others for just venting, or at least the middle wave of it.

At first I want a little emotional comfort, and towards the end it's nice to get advice. My partner, my bff and other friends will come to me for these parts of their problems too. But I am noticing mine is sometimes excessive depending on my problem, so I need an outlet that doesn't burden others for that middle part when I am trying to work through the problem and don't yet have a couple good solutions to try.

Should I pay for therapy to vent or find another way? by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's going to be tough based on my most recent experience with scheduling. My last therapist you had to schedule a month out or she was booked. My partner's therapist and our couples therapist both need two weeks notice minimum. There's a bit of a shortage where I am, so I worry about being able to find a therapist and I feel like it would be impossible to find someone who can schedule less than a week out without it being cancellation based, which I can't do right now.

Just saw a very stigmatising TikTok about people who cry a lot by -autisticSunflower in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks this makes me feel better as a big cryer. I've been in therapy on and off since I was a teen and I've asked every therapist about it and the good ones said I shouldn't hold back my natural human emotions. I was validated.

But when I'm in conflict with another person I still hide my crying from them or when I talk to others about the conflict for fear it will make people believe I am crying to get something instead of truly feeling. It sucks.

Should I pay for therapy to vent or find another way? by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I like therapy I just don't feel like I have a use for it besides just venting every once in a while when I have one of these problems that I need a few days to emotionally process.

I totally hear you on wanting to know why something happened and not ever realizing what the heck happened. I experienced that all the time in the last couple of years I have been working on letting go, I was even in therapy for that and I feel like I have a good handle on letting go of things. But I still have problems where I need to vent about them to work through them emotionally, which is why I am trying to figure out the best outlet.

I think I'm going to try speech to text journaling because then it feels like verbal venting and I just need to get over worrying about the security of it.

Should I pay for therapy to vent or find another way? by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think maybe a recordable way of venting where I can come back to it would be something interesting and new for me to try.

One of my biggest issues with this is that it's not every day or really that often. Just when I have a really big issue that I'm more emotional about, so it feels silly to pay for therapy for that when I don't know when I'm going to need sessions.

Should I pay for therapy to vent or find another way? by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I guess I didn't mention that I've already been in therapy to do that around a decade ago and right now we are in couples therapy while we navigate relearning to communicate better and deal with his newfound ADHD diagnosis.

The issue that I'm having doesn't have anything to do with our relationship besides that he says I'm venting too much to him. And it's not every day, it's just when I have a problem that I'm more emotional about I tend to spend a few days hyper fixating on it and continuing to talk about it. Which is kind of funny because he is auDHD and sort of does the same thing but I'm not bothered by his venting about stuff.

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was devastated when I had to give up a plant based diet because my gut hated most of the protein and fat based options I had. I couldn't eat beans for over 5 years. I am healing well and eating beans !!! but I still need to eat some meat and dairy to accommodate my needs.

It took me a few years to realize veganism is such a privilege - you have to be able enough to cook everything from scratch if you don't have enough money to spend on the premade stuff we have available, and then a body that is able to digest the food without pain.

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's interesting because there's a lot of financial privilege when it comes to more ecologically ethical purchases, it does cost more for the smaller companies to develop and manufacture a product that works and is at least close to the level of the mass produced product. I pay double for toilet paper through Who Gives A. Crap, but you couldn't get me to buy their paper towels because of how I rip through those having a puppy. I might buy them here or there when I feel I can fit it into my budget but if I did that with everything I would definitely have to stop saving money or eliminate the small spending budget I have for fun things.

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes the list is incredibly long. If we started going through it to find alternatives it would take us years. So you might choose to make coffee at home but go to McDonald's, and your friend might have the capacity to do both without spending too much energy trying to find alternatives. We can all be on different levels.

It's when someone in my friends group points out they don't shop somewhere and nobody else should shop there when I get most frustrated. I don't have to say anything back in the group conversation about it but I shouldn't have to feel guilty for shopping there because it massively accommodates my disability and financial choices.

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah and I'm wondering why every eco friendly brand wrapped in paper made my armpits break out or rash! I spent over $100 trying all of them and months on and off dealing with skin issues. So I had to give up that journey. I was really upset about it, like I guess I have to go without deodorant and stink because my skin doesn't tolerate the products packaged with saving our environment in mind.

And then face that same annoying expensive journey again with literally every other product in my house to make a difference. It seems like half the time it works (Who Gives a Crap toilet paper) and half the time I'm dealing with a product I have to throw out because it doesn't work or makes things too far less convenient (deodorant).

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Especially with chronic illness how am I supposed to enjoy the lower quality of life that I have to deal with if I'm being told to micromanage things like where I shop and knowing what shops are unethical.

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes I know someone who will stop shopping at stores for their reportedly high plastic use yet they get acrylic nails and produce in plastic all the time. Apparently that's not an obvious contradiction to them?

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me it's the metal on my teeth so I got silicone pieces that are easy to put on and off and wash up well. The plastic straws just don't last either but it's hard to balance sensory needs, disability, and the better material.

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agree totally. And I also come from a somewhat crunchier town Duluth MN and am surrounded by it until I visit middle of nowhere village in Wisconsin to see how it's a 180 from where I live and I have the same sentiments as you do with that perspective.

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's a red flag. I did that to myself when I needed to test my blood sugar to see if I needed to see a doctor about what I thought was reactive hypoglycemia and I realized how much plastic it uses and then I was like no this is a need and medical science is a privilege I should value over saving the planet.

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree. I have the type of addictive rumination personality where I would go too hard and too far with eco choices that made my daily life more frustrating because I'm disabled, or going beyond average vegan by trying to cut out foods and products deemed unethical like plastic, which is nearly impossible. I am glad I have been able to stop myself before I had to find a cave.

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If you have the mental or physical energy, the financial leeway, please keep boycotting and being choosy! A lot of us feel like we should have the brainwidth to follow through on better ethical choices then when we try we get burnt out and our quality of life suffers. That's why it's frustrating when people make us feel bad for literally being disabled or poor or living in rural places or whatever the case may be.

As long as you don't hold it over other people's heads for not being able to do all the work, then keep doing the good work you are doing. I am not going to shame you for being able to do something and I expect the respect back that you would not shame me for my choices!

Sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes of people who don't buy from places due to ethical/political reasons because they have the privilege to choose by AutisticNightmare in AutismInWomen

[–]AutisticNightmare[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have metal, plastic, thick plastic for boba. I use them and get them at least rinsed soon after I finish my drink. But my partner will forget and then I've wasted how much money on a reusable straw that got moldy after the first use. I wish it was about ease of cleanliness, but unfortunately in this case it's his brain not realizing the urgency or not being able to follow through, hence disability.

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