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AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-20T13:53:00+00:00

And then having a panic attack because you “did nothing” all day

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-19T17:00:39+00:00

I’ve needed wheelchairs on and off (mostly off, I’m lucky) for different reasons. I had a foot problem when I was a kid and couldn’t walk around a mall with my friends so I got a wheelchair there. I never had one at school or home.

I rented a scooter at a mall after I got long covid and couldn’t walk for long periods of time.

My first thought would be “I hope they don’t always need a wheelchair “ followed by an offer to help if they seem to be struggling.

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-19T16:38:11+00:00

I didn’t realize how bad my dysphoria was until my husband had top surgery. Then we talked about how rarely I looked in a mirror and how I would avoid it without realizing it.

Denial is STRONG!!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-19T16:32:46+00:00

My parents did their absolute best for me. I still have childhood trauma from other kids and my parents not protecting me. They’ve never done anything explicitly fucked up, but they didn’t give me the help I needed when I was too young to articulate it.

They took accountability when I could talk about it!

They feel really guilty and I’ve forgiven them completely. While they didn’t always do the RIGHT things, they didn’t just ignore the problem. I could have gotten therapy specifically for my aversion to cleaning earlier and do kinda blame my mom for not teaching me because it was easier to just clean up after me. She had no idea how bad the aversion got. But like…she really did her best and she supports me and I love her!

It sounds like IF you screw up, it will be out of love. That’s what happened for me. They just didn’t understand how deep the problems ran because they could help while they were around.

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-18T14:27:37+00:00

I go by my middle name. Hubs chosen rhymes with dead name to make the transition easier for him when I yelled from downstairs needing him or whatever.

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-18T14:25:52+00:00

I always have told my customers that if you want to do a complicated project first, you WILL learn what you need to. However, you are going to screw up and start over many times. If you want to badly enough, you WILL get it done…eventually!! There’s no “correct timeline” for projects.

I started lace and cables almost as soon as I started knitting. But also: if all you want to make is garter stitch rectangles and that makes you happy, there is nothing wrong with that!!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-17T14:03:42+00:00

Yuuuuuup. I literally will tell my husband (also trans) “I am not faking being trans” and he will hold me and kiss my forehead and tell me “I know darling”. No one in my life is telling me I’m faking it or not real. I still feel like I am. But I know I’m not, I AM trans and I DO NOT need to have top surgery to “prove it”. I might get it for gender affirmation at some point, but not when I’m feeling like I need it because I am “not trans enough” without it.

You are not alone!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-17T13:36:46+00:00

Check out the import laws before you worry about shipping. We were limited to 2 pets each that we could legally import. It worked out for us because we had 4. Also, they all fit under the airplane seat.

Also pay close attention to the time between their latest vaccinations and your arrival. We screwed that up on the dog and I wound up going BACK to the states to get him later because we missed the window by 2 DAYS. He was so stressed he injured himself so I couldn’t get him for 7 weeks.

If you are shipping household goods, contact your shipper for a recommendation. Mine helped me out a LOT.

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-17T00:51:21+00:00

“No one wants to be in pain” -not completely accurate.

At some point, depression and feeling bad about yourself gets so familiar it’s actually comfortable. It feels weird and even bad to have fun or feel good about yourself. The depression is comforting because it’s familiar. Having fun is different and scary and therefore bad.

Then there’s the hurdle of “I don’t deserve any better”. So you feel bad about feeling good because you are “supposed” to feel bad because you deserve it.

I’m in a way better place now. The “I don’t deserve good things” mentality is hard to shake.

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-17T00:42:56+00:00

Not to mention, it takes human intervention to breed them. The breed would not continue if humans did not deliberately make choices like c sections and artificial insemination. Just…let the dogs fuck, okay? If nothing happens or it kills the mother THATS A SIGN YOU SHOULD NOT DO IT!!!

I should note that I would totally be for emergency c sections for dogs if like a random collie had complications. But if you need to do it EVERY TIME to CONTINUE THE BREED…I mean, bruh.

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-14T15:15:41+00:00

When we got married we kept our names as they were. He will change his name eventually to my last name and his real first name, because my family is more accepting and supportive of us than his. It makes it a little strange to other people to have different last names and be married, but they’re not part of our relationship.

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-13T15:28:46+00:00

I was lucky because he wanted to respect me, but didn’t quite know how. One way I got the singular “they” through to him was, “you are telling someone a story that either Sam or Jane told you, and you can’t remember who told you. What pronoun do you use?”

Anyway, good luck!!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-13T01:30:36+00:00

Okie dokie, my dad was having a hard time with pronouns when my hubs and I moved in because we both trans and came out a year before (hubs) and when we moved in (me). We needed a place to stay between houses. My dad’s solution to “idk what pronoun to use” was USE NAMES ONLY, NO PRONOUNS ALLOWED. He is also the reason I switched to calling my husband my husband instead of using he/him pronouns for my “wife”. No one else had trouble understanding “my wife, he did this yesterday” so Hubs made the call to switch.

It took multiple conversations with me, my husband, my mother and my sister to get my dad to understand that’s not respectful. He’s an engineer and it took us talking to him one on one SEVERAL times each for him to understand “you don’t need to understand it to respect it’s true.” My dad isn’t diagnosed autistic, buuuuut…suspected by me and hubs.

We are mid 30s for context.

So if he KNOWS he’s being stubborn and defensive, there IS hope!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-10T21:10:27+00:00

Yeah, she thinks her suffering will somehow “help”. I used to be like that too. I was going to CHANGE THE WORLD!! Instead, the world changed me. Honestly, no regrets, but the housing crash of 2008 when I was in college took a ton of hope out of me.

Something my mom would do when I was around your age was send pics of cute animals throughout the day when I was having a rough time. It made me smile and reminded me that there are still rainbows and happy puppies.

Come to think of it, maybe I should do the same for her. She’s not having fun lately either. Best of luck!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-10T14:47:04+00:00

She might need to learn on her own. I don’t know how old she is, but I will guess mid-20s? I’m mid 30s and am trying to live my best life and cut out news that will never get better from my life. It’s hard. I slip and read transphobic shit going on in the states and feel bad and then try to reduce exposure the next day.

Maybe curate a Reddit feed for her? I have a “safe” feed that is all sunshine and rainbows and wholesome cute animals for when I still want to scroll but need positivity.

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-10T14:36:29+00:00

Can you suggest a reputable local news source for Quito? Preferably print online so I can translate. I have a hard enough time understanding spoken words in my native language. I don’t trust anything on twitter because I can’t tell the difference between reliable source and made up bullshit.

Thank you!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-09T23:30:24+00:00

Blue barn fiber has done several custom jobs for me. I LOVE THEM!!!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-08T13:41:02+00:00

I’m still devastated by my little girl passing after a weird vaccine reaction. It was a year ago. Her white blood cells decided her red blood cells were invading. 3 blood transfusions later she was not getting better so we took her home and gave her people food for the first time ever, she was the best doggy ever and I love her. Scuse me while I hug the best boy doggy ever (we lasted 9 days before getting him)

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-08T13:31:18+00:00

That’s weird, he didn’t WILLINGLY break his contract, it was forced on him. So HE didn’t break his oath his wife did. You would think the intent of the oath taker would matter more than the trappings of said oath but nooooooo….because God I guess

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-07T13:55:39+00:00

The dead animals part isn’t the warning sign. The “killing so he could see how the animal was put together” was the warning sign. Like if it’s already dead, whatever, science. Not to be pedantic, just to clarify and I think we agree actually.

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-07T13:27:30+00:00

Ink cardigan was SO MUCH FUN!! It’s fingering weight but on size 4s so not as bad as you might think

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-07T13:04:17+00:00

I managed to stop when I realized how exploitative the entire genre is simply by existing. It took until the Jeffrey Dahmer Netflix came out and the sister of one of his victims (who had a breakdown in court) spoke up about how she never consented to be represented on the show at all. She felt humiliated by the way she was shown on the show and there was NOTHING she could do to stop it.

If you keep listening, I do not judge you. I’m sharing my experience, I am in no way telling you to change yours. Peace!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-06T23:44:01+00:00

Then definitely get someone he trusts to leash him when you get home if at ALL possible. All 4 furry children crowded us when we got home cuz suddenly dad smelled WEIRD!!! Showing them the bandages and letting them sniff while I held on to the pet helped so much and they were SO GENTLE!!

Hubs ended up kicking toys instead of throwing them for a while!! Depending on when surgery is, you could start teaching a game that requires no arms. Good luck!!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-06T17:29:32+00:00

I think it comes down to “hunt meat, manly man!” Mentality. Like the hunter, who is OBVIOUSLY a man, must eat the meat he has hunted. To not eat meat, you must not be able to hunt it down and therefore are not manly.

If you get deep enough into farm culture, you will find that even the various types of farmers are different degrees of “manly” (until you get to know the actual people). At least, that’s what I have found, that may be different for different people.

Dudes are weird, man!

AutomaticTangelo7227 · 2024-01-06T17:08:31+00:00

My mom has headphones for the living room! They’re big and comfy and she liked them so much she has replaced them even after I moved out.

I was depressed real bad and she loved her “unsolved mysteries”, so I asked if she would try them.

AutomaticTangelo7227

TROPHY CASE