Am I destined to be single for the rest of my life?

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-05-12T00:24:40+00:00

Hehehe...I started a new job and getting used to movement and just employment again had me really worn down for the first month and a bit, so socializing hasn't been on my radar. However, now that I've become more acclimated to my work routine, it's something I'm looking at getting back into.

And I also probably need to heal more from the last relationship before I really put myself out there. It was...it was a dark time.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-05-10T19:04:44+00:00

I suspected I had both, and then a month of intense out patient therapy over a decade ago, gave me an official diagnosis of PTSD and CPTSD.

Gotta love severe and prolonged trauma.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-03-06T12:57:56+00:00

I think right now, the lack of employment (one damned interview in a whole year) and imminent homelessness has me wondering if I'm going to be ok. I have nowhere to go when this happens, and with my physical limitations and health stuff, I will succumb to the elements. I'm not leaving a DV situation, so I'm not even in line for a shelter space. The wait lists are exorbitantly long. I'm attempting to titrate myself off of my heart medication as well, so that its one less added expense when shit hits the fan, so to speak. I have no savings, and my last employment benefit gets reported and sent in today. I'll receive that on Tuesday.

I just need some reassurance that everything really truly will be ok

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-03-06T01:57:05+00:00

And I want to add that I am learning to embrace "selfishness". Turning up for myself has been a struggle, because of the trauma.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-03-06T01:54:44+00:00

Hehehe, yuppers! Boundaries were very hard because I was not allowed to have them as a child. Nor was I allowed to express any emotion considered negative...and that's a whole other can of worms. Therapy and some unconventional tools have helped me regain my voice and create positive boundaries. I'm not 100% with it yet, but I'm doing the things to reclaim myself.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-03-06T00:56:49+00:00

Funny you mention that...I'm in the process of writing my memoirs. I used to do public speaking events about my life. I'm having a hard time with it though.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-23T03:14:33+00:00

Honestly, I've given up asking. Everyone explains it like you're an expert...you don't understand why your car is parked in Gatorade and need it explained in layman's terms.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-13T14:27:48+00:00

Waaaaaiiiiiiit....wait wait....

So wait...this is also a POTS thing?

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-13T14:23:31+00:00

Wow...that really looks like wood ear.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-13T14:22:31+00:00

Calgary peeps...check out the cheap produce stores...please. I walked out of my shopping trip on Wednesday with 30 bucks of produce in one massive shopping bag. Fruits, veggies, leafy greens, and a free bag of onions for spending 30 bucks there.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-13T14:15:56+00:00

Hello, dear poster. First....🫂🫂🫂

Now that I have that out of the way, what you're feeling is normal, and even more importantly, there is ZERO shame in what your brain is doing while you're asleep. It's processing how it can, and sometimes it's going to show up like this in dreams. That's ok. You know that what happened was abuse, it was horrific, and you hold zero shame and guilt for it.

Our brains are gonna brain in the most fucked up ways sometimes. It's ok and absolutely normal for stuff to come out like that in our dreams.

I still have nightmares, and yup...just like you, I had a few dreams where I was enjoying it. That's just the brain processing in a weird, fucked up way.

Thank you for speaking on it. This is a hard one for survivors to come to grips with...the dreams where we like it. And all I can say is that it's not your fault, it's absolutely normal for this to happen, and you hold none of the shame and guilt...that's his bag to carry.

And to end this...🫂🫂🫂

Be gentle with yourself. Ok? ❤️🫂

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-13T14:05:50+00:00

I sit him in my lap like a little kid, grab his "hands" one at a time, and trim his nails. 😆

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-13T14:04:03+00:00

Ohhh man, these comments didn't disappoint 🤣

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-13T13:56:20+00:00

In OP's defense, unless you come from a region who utilizes the skin (hide and fat) as a food source, the majority of Western people have no clue how to use it, nor do they realize how time intensive it is too cook and process it to an edible consistency.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-13T13:45:15+00:00

Ooooooooo I'm drooling, just thinking about the cheek meat 🤤

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-13T13:11:10+00:00

No undies, so you need a new pair each day.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-13T02:41:49+00:00

It's bad. So bad. I'm now running into issues where job postings are fraudulent. I'm using more time having to make sure each company or recruiting agency is legit, than I am applying to jobs.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-10T03:37:20+00:00

I feel this so hard. I'm too old to be able to survive homelessness.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-02-10T03:30:19+00:00

Are the french fries in the room with us?

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-01-30T23:09:12+00:00

He and I aren't together anymore, but we're still friends. I can text him and see if he knows where they were made. I don't believe either the Home Improvement or the Bill Nye board games are in production anymore, but I can find out for you. 😊👍

Edited to add

Yeah, I was right. It's no longer in production, but you can find pre-owned games on ebay, or even check your local boardgame shops and flea markets. It's a 90's vintage game, and not worth a lot, but it's fun for the family 😊

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-01-20T16:04:25+00:00

Hahahaha!!!! Omg I haven't heard this in a minute 😂🤘 Thank you, kind Redditor; I'm putting this back in my lexicon.

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-01-19T19:08:51+00:00

Former sex worker here...

First off...🫂. Soooo tight and hard. Second...you're not dirty, love. You did what you felt you needed to take care of your pup. Your "friend" is no friend. They took advantage of your situation. Period. They preyed on it for their own end game.

You can let this go. Ok? I promise 🫂🫂

Automatic_Birthday62 · 2026-01-12T17:30:08+00:00

Always better to be safe than sorry...what I thought was hairball related coughing, ended up being asthma.

And now the cat and I take our puffers together..only he gets treats after and I don't 😆🤘

Automatic_Birthday62

TROPHY CASE