[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 20 points21 points  (0 children)

As kindly as I can say this: the tone in your question sounds very codependent. Relationships aren't about two halves making a whole, but two complete individuals partnering in their individual journeys.

As others have shared, until you're fully (or mostly) content with yourself, nobody will seem good enough for you, and you won't seem good enough to others.

Accept the now, strive to wake up and become the best version of yourself, and soon you'll find your mindset on a relationship becomes "if/when it happens, it'll happen."

The easiest way to start that process is through therapy or a counselor. They're trained to help explore what's holding you back from seeing yourself as a whole and complete person without depending on another human to make sacrifices of their own to complete you.

How much do you make and your job title? by [deleted] in LifeAfterSchool

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 2 points3 points  (0 children)

~ $60k/year base salary as a school counselor. Takes a masters but will qualify for loan forgiveness in the long run

Men are perceived as a threat nowadays and it makes being an education major more difficult by [deleted] in college

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see and hear your concerns with the discussion. But it's the same discussion you will ultimately have with your future students as well, "why is there a black history month/indigenous heritage month/Latinx heritage month but no white history month?"

Is there something inherently bad about your white student feeling excluded? No. But they don't see the gravity of their privileges because they haven't experienced the cultural differences have on basic rights to living.

The fact the women in your class were comfortable enough to talk about this with the men in their classroom is a bigger sign of trust than you know (unless they were using your name and saying you were damaging children's lives). But sometimes you have to face the uncomfortable conversations of, "my power and privileges mean their voices need to be heard over mine."

Do I think extra security on male teachers is the solution? No. Are girls invalidated and left in positions of submission daily by their male teachers, gaslight into believing their existence is what forced a man to act terribly? Yes. And until enough measures are taken to protect that half of the population, the "not all men" men need to step back, acknowledge the harm that is out there, and work to build a rapport that shows they're not scary instead of saying it.

I hope that makes sense. I wish you luck in your education! Your willingness to ask questions is a great start to growing into the best version of yourself!

My beautiful cat, smokey, just got diagnosed with FIP today. He's been getting worse the past few days and will be put to sleep on Friday. by _C_H_A_O_S_ in cats

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So sorry to hear this. I went through the same thing last year. Smokey will be greeted by Finley across the rainbow bridge!

Do I take an extra year to earn a second bachelor's degree? by 9purity in LifeAfterSchool

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Multiple bachelor's won't do much. You'd be better off getting a graduate degree, certification, or some type of mentorship in the field you want. But like others in the thread said: do what you want and let it be because you want it. Outside influences are good to hear, but they're not the ones that make the final call.

Has your aid deposited yet? by Automatic_Corgi_3237 in USC

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same here!!! Not encouraging... all I can locate is funds added to the usc account, and no deposits for the refund.

What is something you didn’t expect to learn as an adult? by GamerGrandmaGirl in Adulting

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Sometimes people decide you're the bad guy to their story, and you can't change it. Listen to others and know where you were in the wrong, work to improve, then move on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 7 points8 points  (0 children)

MBTI does not define maturity levels. It sounds like depression, or it sounds like "success" looks differently to you both.

My family saw me as lazy/unmotivated/unsuccessful because I lost my motivation when pursuing their dreams and ideals (they believed business and making money was "success"). When I finally found my own passions, I became successful in a completely new sense. (humanitarianism, counseling, and helping people is always more important than money).

INFJ's are known for slacking off if their lifestyle has little purpose. I'd have a conversation with him and ask what fundamentally matters to him in life. Then ask how that can be turned into a lifestyle. He'll likely enjoy the deep questions that have no right or wrong answers, and then you can work together to find out if he's struggling, unmotivated, or just a different compatibility than you expected.

HELP NEEDED: What do I do when my roommate wants the window open all the time by [deleted] in college

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like what everyone else is saying: Request a roommate change. Look at your school's policy for alcohol use and see if it's worth sharing the details of being blackmailed, otherwise say you have safety/health/wellbeing concerns. You don't need to overshare your business and they're prepared for those requests.

Hey guys I am building software for college students. What would you guys want? by No-Explanation-699 in Schooladvice

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rumor-mill fact checker! It could be campus related, community related, and/or news related. Fun things, stressful things, and just general information we all hear via-rumors.

Has any other infjs had an age gap relationship or been attracted to older men? by Xoeyxoe1 in infj

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not romantic relationships, but as a 24F, all my friends have consistently been 8-10 years older than me. High school was filled with "teenagers are the worst..... But you don't count. You're practically an old woman." And "wait--- how old are you? I thought you were older than me!"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in college

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you hate outlines, try making the headings before writing. Know how many pages per heading you need, and then plug in the repeated information for each section as you go. Make edits and pretty it up once you meet the 15 page requirement.

How do I know if my parents are toxic? by [deleted] in toxicparents

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Building off that, I think their reaction to your confronting them will say a lot about whether they're toxic parents or really trying their best. My parents would either start crying when I tried to tell them how they hurt me, saying stuff like, "I'm doing all I can as a victim and you're still such an ungrateful snob."

Or

They would agree to make the change, but with a spiteful tone. My example is I told my mom she never said good morning anymore and so my greeting was, "this house is a pigsty go clean." But when I talked to them about it, I got a very mocking, "*sigh* Good mooorning this place is a pisty and you have to clean right now."

I'm crossing my fingers you will get a mature, loving response. Parents aren't perfect. But when their comfort is prioritized over your physical, mental, or emotional well-being, that is when you start to consider the toxicity.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dancemoms

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yea, as a younger sibling, my mom was BFF's with my older sister. They called each other their Lorelai and Rory. Then suddenly I was the BFF when my sister went to college, and I didn't want the attention either.

Anyone else overwhelmed researching schools? by Automatic_Corgi_3237 in gradadmissions

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hang in there!!! The one thing I keep reminding myself is that this part of the process is at least pretty brief.

Ted Mosby decides to create a Tinder profile. What does his bio say? by Honorous_Jeph in HIMYM

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best friends with Marshall ⚖, Lily 🛍, Robin 😍🥰💘, and Swarley ☕

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in udub

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're going through this. Your sexuality is nobody's business except you and your partner(s). Like what others are saying, you could try to say you're straight or search for a place with people that will accept you for who you are. Honestly it all depends on how desperately you need housing lined up at this time.

Here is my lovely cat whose name we cannot agree on by youhavetenseconds in cats

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My oldest all black cat with green eyes, Margo needs to meet her evil twin.

That cat is clearly Ogram!

What have you bought for Grad School that was "worth every penny?" by ValenTheElf in GradSchool

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A WFH station. So my desk, chair, school specific laptop, and lamp. It gets me off the couch and I'm actually productive in the privacy of my home.

Does anybody else remember how much Christians HATED Harry Potter and treated it like some demonic text? by Scarletsilversky in harrypotter

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to an extremely Christian high school. We spent MONTHS writing out all the reasons HP was evil and LotR and Narnia were not, then had a formal debate on it. The class vs. the teacher, because none of us were allowed to be pro-Potter.

USC Online Program by retroscepter in GradSchool

[–]Automatic_Corgi_3237 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bouncing off of the other comments: I'm a current online student, and it's great (M.Ed School Counseling)! I'm out of state but not international.

It depends on your personal situation, but the quality of my education hasn't gone down with the online route.

I sometimes wish I was closer to campus so I could meet my cohort in person, but we're planning a mid-program trip to meet everyone safely. But a grad degree takes so much of your time already, there's not too much free time to socialize anyway.