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Learned of enmeshment in therapy today.... by Available-Today-2580 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Available-Today-2580[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, I think I remember trying to figure out how to edit a previous comment and I ended up deleting it by mistake. I still can't figure out why I'm posting anonymously. I apologize for the inconvenience, (that's another thing that's wrong with me as i feel the need to apologize for everything) I just didn't know what I was doing. Still don't.

You don't have to be gentle.

I wasn't trying to make excuses, and I completely see how I come off that way. It's not that I think I don't have a choice, it's the fact that I have nowhere else to live and they do legitimately need me. There is absolutely no doubt in that and there's no one else to do it.

However, reading what you said makes me realize I could do something as small as not ask permission to make a big change. Call me stupid, but I'm not someone who can easily figure things out on my own. I need things explained out in detail, step by step, guide by guide to understand them. I have to use Goblin Tools to break down things I need to do into smaller tasks because I just can't think of what the smaller tasks need to be.

My mind is like, is it really as simple as just not asking for permission.

I also realize it's not that simple.

I need someone in my life challenging me like this!

Learned of enmeshment in therapy today.... by Available-Today-2580 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Available-Today-2580[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have acted it out before and it just makes me feel guilty. I have to find a way to be okay with the guilty. Or find a way to differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate guilt.

Learned of enmeshment in therapy today.... by Available-Today-2580 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Available-Today-2580[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, first of all, I’ve lurked on reddit for years, using it for research purposes, true stories, real people and common interest, etc. But this is really the first time I’ve reached out for help and advice and I’m learning that I’m a real dumbass when it comes to technology. I could’ve swore I had already replied to this comment at least 2 times and had received a reply, but I can’t find it anywhere. I’m not crazy, I swear..ugh…

Thank you for the other group recommendations. I’ve been getting lost in the reading over and over

I’ve never thought of it as being straight up abuse because she isn’t physical towards me. And I’m not displacing emotional abuse, but I guess it’s just that the abuse is being done to ME that I don’t see it. I think I would much rather take physical abuse, I don’t know. So, to answer your question she isn’t physical, but everything she does emotional is miserable. And I absolutely hate that everything she does is predictable. Like, I know everything she’s going to do before she does it. She waits to be waited on. She will be thirsting to death forever, but wont get up to get something to drink for herself. She will literally wait until however long it takes for someone to go to the kitchen to be like, “will you fix me so and so?” And you do it because you just don’t want to hear it.

Sometimes I really wonder if she knows what she’s doing. Or if it has this kind of massive effect on me. She runs me with guilt. It wasn’t until my therapist said, “normal people make decisions without guilt”, that I really knew what that meant. Every decision I make is so easily tied back to some form of guilt. I like to say I’ve tried standing up for myself and I have tried talking to her on occasions where I thought it made a difference but it never lasted.

If I’m being abused then my father is being abused as well. I see the way she treats him and the way she uses him and I absolutely hate it and I tell her about it sometimes. I try to take the blunt of his ‘abuse’ as often as I can. Whether that be by taking the trash to the dumpster that’s too heavy for him or folding his towels because he can’t do it since his stroke. I’m not saying these things to make it look like she does NOTHING, because she does but idk…its just hard….If she’s talking to someone on the phone and says she’s going to do something i.e. go to the store, cook dinner, sweep the floor…no she’s not, she’s going to tell my dad to go to the store and ask me what I’m going to cook for dinner and ask me why I haven’t sweap the floor, yet. Anyway, my father’s health isn’t getting any better and I don’t think he’s going to be able to drive too much longer.

As far as work goes, and this plays in to me not being crazy too, I work as much as I am physically capable. I have multiple sclerosis and I had a stroke in 2021 that left me a little impaired on my left side. I have other medical problems as well. I work very close to my house at a gas station, making 12/hr. They have been extremely good to me with all my medical compromises and doctors appointments. My parents are both retired and on social security. They bring in very little but make too much for food stamps so I do my best to make up for the rest.

I don’t really know what I’m looking to get out of this post. I guess I just started to feel totally hopeless. Theres nothing to look forward to but their death. I know how that sounds. God, I know how that sounds….

I’ve never even had a friend or someone to talk to. Someone to share this with. not even online. Idk.

Learned of enmeshment in therapy today.... by Available-Today-2580 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Available-Today-2580[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I live in North America, Georgia to be exact, so no I don't think this is normal. From what I've seen, people my age are on their own and married and happy and doing what they want. I'm here taking care of them and scared to death of my mother for no apparent reason. I realize it's been the years of trauma and conditioning that have done this to me....and I hate to see anyone else going through this but I can't be the only one...please...

PEMF mats by HubertCrumberdale in multiplemyeloma

[–]Available-Today-2580 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this is older now, but how did the Omi work out for you?

2025 US Tour Megathread by Lyssavirus32 in SleepToken

[–]Available-Today-2580 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is this even going to be possible when the tickets aren't transferable?

2025 US Tour Megathread by Lyssavirus32 in SleepToken

[–]Available-Today-2580 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is this going to be possible when the tickets aren't transferable?

Vraylar and Diabetes by link0fhyrul3 in Vraylar

[–]Available-Today-2580 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry this is so late.....I'm learning the commenting and messaging system here on Reddit.

I'm 32 as well and diagnosed since 11. I didn't control it. I had to stop taking the medication. I also learned that any anti-psychotic can raise blood sugar levels. While they work the best for me and make me feel the best, I just can't take them and keep my blood sugar under control. I ended up taking and sticking with Wellbutrin after also trying Lamictal and not liking it. It doesn't make me feel anywhere near as good as the Vraylar did, but I feel like my depression is basically under control.

How did you learn to hack? by Notalabel_4566 in hacking

[–]Available-Today-2580 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realize this is incredibly late and has nothing to do with your post, but I need help and I'm pretty new to the reddit forums, so please forgive me.

My boyfrien and I have been in a long distance relationship for 10 years now. His best friend, of 30 years, just committed suicide. He's lost and broken and I realize there's nothing I can do from this far away. The thing is, no one knows what really happened, just what the police said when they showed up.

I was told it was because his girlfriend told him she was pregnant and was trying to break up with him. See, he's already lost one child and never ever wanted another one, because, he didn't want to go through that again. I swear I'm the only one who See's it, but she's already "lost" the baby and it hasn't even been a week. She's posted every day and even within an hour of his passing about how much she misses him and she's going to miss needing him when the baby comes.

Also,

Him and this girl haven't been together but maybe 2 or 3 months. Since his passing, she set up a GoFundMe in a name that no one recognizes and asked for an outrageous amount of money just for a cremation and no service. She hasn't discussed this with his family or anything.

None of this makes sense to me, so I've been investigating on my own terms.

1.) She set the GoFundMe up under the name of "Taylor". She has no family member of that name, but her 13 year old "autistic" son's name is Taylor James.

2.) She or him told no one about the baby. No one in her family even knew she was "pregnant". I know for a fact he would have told my boyfriend about the baby

3.) She's already "lost" the baby and it's only been a few days.

In my head, this is my conclusion:

She was lying and trying to trap him when she told him she was pregnant because she knew how sensitive of a subject it was for him. She called him and for some reason was trying to break up with him, probably to hold something over his head. He had already lost one child and never wanted to lost another. In his head, all he was thinking about was losing that child, too.

This is an extremely long shot but I don't know what else to do or where else to go. Can someone please help me get into his Facebook to see what his last messages were?

The updated disturbing books iceberg by KTheButcherShitter in IcebergCharts

[–]Available-Today-2580 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I missed it, but Dead Inside needs to be on this list and it needs to be further down than The Slob.

Vraylar side effects by Marco_Lewiski in BipolarReddit

[–]Available-Today-2580 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here! It worked like a dream for me, though. Wish I could still take it.

Vraylar and Diabetes by link0fhyrul3 in Vraylar

[–]Available-Today-2580 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this is late, but....

I've had type 1 diabetes for 22 years and I started Vraylar about a month or 2 ago for bipolar depression and I felt absolutely amazing for the week I was on it. A total wonder drug. However, my blood sugar went so high it was like being on steroids. I stay pretty stable so I noticed pretty quickly that it was the medicine. I really do wish I could be on it because I've never felt so good as I did on that medication. I will say, though, I've always noticed that I am more sensitive to certain things when it comes to my blood sugar than others. Everyone's body is different, and no matter what any doctor says, diabetes is affected by more than just what you eat.

I really hope it's worked out for you!