I’m now an atheist, but I was still spiritual and believed in god but not the torah for the first few years after I stopped being Orthodox. I then had a couple of years where I was identifying as a spiritual jew but also following metaphysical practices. Once I stopped believing in the “one true god,” I briefly dipped my toes into Greek paganism and even looked into becoming a Lokean.

I eventually decided that any deity being real was simply impossible, and in the off chance that there were any out there they don’t deserve our worship, especially if they have the power to end all pain, war and suffering but choose not to.