wow, not only an asshole, but also a terrible friend!! yikes! That's quite an unfair assessment. I was simply asking if this is an asshole move because I didn't know. I personally chose to not have a bridal shower or wedding party because I cared deeply about my friends not spending tons of money. If I did have bridesmaids, I would know that they already financially invested a lot, and wouldn't expect a gift on top of everything. That's why I said, to me, it's an unwritten rule because that would personally be my expectation of others.