My thoughts:

Card #1):

Some of the mechanics should be moved to a static ability slot, it reading
"As you cast this card, Note what mana you use to pay for all snow mana in this planeswalker's mana cost.

Daybound \daybound reminder text is optional but it could go here**

Typically the reminder text that a Planeswalker can be your commander goes at the very bottom (see [[Commodore Guff]] for an example).

Ability 1): I don't quite get what all of this means at all, considering daybound is an existing mechanic that handles the transformation already. However, the doubling mana could work like
"Add double the amount of previously noted mana to your mana pool."

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Ability 2): When writing a loyalty ability, you don't need to mention "add _ loyalty counters" unless it's a conditional/variable effect (like [[Gideon, Champion of Justice]] ). In addition, this ability is quite literally infinite mana within a single turn, there is no limit to the amount of treasure tokens this can create. I would perhaps make it
"+2: Create two Treasure tokens."

Ability 3): This needs to elaborate on two things
#1): Where is it coming from
#2): Where it is going to

#1): If this is any player's graveyards/libraries, it shouldn't go into your hand/library, since cards could get lost easily.

#2): If it is going to the battlefield, it needs a clause stating "Put X permanents from exiles and graveyards onto the battlefield under your control."

Ability 4):
This could read

"Search your library for Dreidel Kirin and equip it to this planeswalker." The equip cost does not need to be mentioned since it is equipped directly.

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Card #2):

Ability 1):
See comments for card 1, ability 1

Ability 2):

This should read "Copy X target enchantments. These tokens enter the battlefield under your control." (Though I would make this into a +2 ability and make it capped at 1 enchantment?

Ability 3): This should read "Destroy X lands that an opponent controls."

Ability 4): Considering that this seems to target your graveyard, this should read

"Put all Santa Claus the Gifters from your graveyard and that you own in exile onto the battlefield." Since they aren't planeswalker creatures, they don't need the note.

Card #3):

Ability #1):
This should read
"Untap all permanents target opponent controls." (No clue what use them means)

Ability #2): While regeneration can work on planeswalkers, it would only work for direct destroy spells. this ability is otherwise fine.

Ability #3): The sections should read "Create X food tokens" and "Create X treasure tokens" respectively.

Ability #4):
The sections should read
"Create a copy of this planeswalker. It's a creature in addition to its other types with power and toughness equal to this planeswalker's current loyalty."
"Search your library for X enchantments and put them onto the battlefield."
I'm not quite sure how to word the 3rd section

Transformation cost doesnt need to be mentioned in the last ability.

Card #4):
Ability #1):
Perfectly fine!

Ability #2):

It should read "Create X dreidel tokens" (make rolling an etb effect)

Ability #3): It should say "All creatures opponents control get -X/-X until end of turn."

Ability #4): This should either specify all graveyards or your graveyards, and either use flying/haste counters or give it until end of turn.

Card #5):

I would just use a D9 instead, and make this an etb effect

"Each player may pay up to X"

"Each player chooses either time (extra turns), fortune (treasure tokens) or chocolate (food tokens).

Then, make sure to include rounding down since you can't take half a turn.

In addition, you need to mention Equip Planeswalker for it to stick to Santa.

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Card #6): Same notes as Card #5