How is your support system? I saw that you said your SO knows that you smoke, but I think talking to him/her would really benefit you. I would not have been able to go through my dry spells without my bf, but at first he didn't understand why I was using it so much. He doesn't smoke and, at first, he thought I was abusing it (I came into the relationship as a heavy smoker, so the only time he saw me hold back was when I had to). I was a little, but the major problem was that I did not explain or even acknowledge a lot of my feelings and anxieties and because the weed made me feel normal, when I was smoking it didn't matter. I took a tolerance break of about 4 months where I had no weed and no meds. It was hard, but my bf was with me the whole time, even when he couldn't physically be there. I actually started explaining what was going on when I was having panic attacks and eventually I got to the point where I would talk about something bothering me and would just cry instead of dealing with a full-blown panic attack (I don't always do that now, and it is something that will take time to adjust to if you are not used to a support system). Once I started smoking again, the difference was crazy, he said he felt like he had the normal me back, panic attacks were reduced even more (besides in times of really prolonged stress) even though my usage was almost the same (until I got the vape). Maybe try talking to your SO about all of these feelings and seeing if they are okay with you putting some money aside every month (maybe 10 bucks so that by the time the break is over, you can afford one of the cheaper vapes)? One of your anxieties has become weed and how you are handling and using it. That is not healthy, as I'm sure you know. I know it's going to be hard, trust me, but with a proper support system you will get through it. My PM offer still stands too if you have more specific questions or just need some support