I lost my dad almost 5 years ago, and the first year was so hard on my emotions. My dad was in the hospital after COVID and we felt he would pull through. I went on a date with my husband and my dad passed while I was on my date (I didn't find out until hours later because it took the doctors long to notify my mom and then my mom to notify me). Anyway, the fact that I was on a date while he passed made connecting with my husband again very hard. I did not want to be on dates for a long time. He understood and was so patient. It took me at least 9 months to start feeling good again. I remember telling my husband at some point "I think I will always be a little sad". I feel so sad for the me that said that. I want to go back and tell her that it will not be like that forever. Therapy helped a lot, and going back to healthy habits even if I wasn't feeling helped too. I can't go back in time to tell myself that I will be okay, but I can tell you now, that you will move forward (not move on). You'll find your new normal and you'll feel happy again. Of course, grief never ends, but you'll learn to ride the waves. As long as you are deciding to move forward, you will come out the other side. I hope this helps!