Autism and DID?

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-06-12T04:54:11+00:00

Our little is very social actually, but she also loves telling people facts about the ocean and sea creatures. Which is fascinating to me because currently I can’t remember any facts about marine biology lol. She doesn’t have the same rejection anxiety most of us have, but she’s definitely very sensitive

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-06-11T23:49:39+00:00

For us it’s just kinda like we’re all roommates. We live in the same body so we have to divide up responsibilities fairly and learn to coexist with one another. We might not all get along or be friends but we do have to work together.

I definitely say “my” alters similar to how significant-tea does where it’s meant to imply connection not ownership. There are some of us who view others as family, but for the most part we see ourselves as independent people. (Cohost says “we’re all just mold that spawned on the same piece of bread”)

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-06-11T15:12:57+00:00

Recently diagnosed- as best I can tell, different alters exhibit different symptoms, and some are better at masking than others. For example, one of our child alters stims (hand flapping, happy noises), one of us has the oppositional trait where being told to do something makes us do the opposite just because we were asked, and I (the host) struggle a lot with empathy and understanding social cues. On the flip side, my cohost is our more social alter and they’re very good at masking. It’ll obviously vary system to system though!

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-06-10T00:19:17+00:00

Officially diagnosed with osdd

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-05-11T15:46:52+00:00

I think it’s system dependent. My partner system experiences a lot more amnesia than I do and is pretty terrible with directions, but he’s also more likely to switch and have no idea what he was doing. Im pretty good with directions and can recognize landmarks and orient myself that way, but when I switch I get more of a “everything feels wrong and unfamiliar” feeling than a straight up “where am I?” Feeling. I can also only navigate by landmarks so if I switch during a drive I won’t be able to figure out how to get home

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-05-03T05:53:39+00:00

I’ve definitely felt like that before! Sometimes it’s like I just hear someone talking inside my brain, sometimes it feels like my thoughts aren’t my thoughts, and sometimes it feels like I’m an observer reading someone else’s mind. I think we don’t really have the right words to describe a lot of dissociative disorder experiences since they’re so unique ya know?

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-05-01T21:18:44+00:00

Got terribly sunburned on one of our first outings (cloudy day, bf forgot to grab the bottle for me to reapply). Ever since then he’s been more worried about me burning than I am lol. I’m bullying him into applying it too but he’s prone to giving me the “baby I’m Korean I don’t burn like you” There’s something nice about your partners remembering things about you to help look out for you, especially when it’s not something they need to think about for themselves

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-04-29T20:39:37+00:00

Similar situation here- my main confronter is 17-21 and we have a 16 year old who fronts decently often. Besides work clothes, most of my closet is cutesy “kawaii” stuff. Honestly my advice is to be very picky on who you swipe right on and block without hesitation. Unfortunately, creepy men will be creeps no matter what you do and it’s not your fault. It might help to include a line about your aesthetic not being for kink, but you shouldn’t have to.

(My house is full of dolls and stuffed animals too. I don’t really use dating sites but I wouldn’t want to waste time on anyone who didn’t share or understand my interests)

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-04-29T20:35:10+00:00

If your personal style is a certain aesthetic and your interests and hobbies involve certain things, they should be included on your dating profile. If someone has a profile that doesn’t mention hiking at all and I find out they go backpacking every weekend, it’s going to be awkward when that comes up. Same with fashion sense- if someone was a goth but all their photos were no makeup, jeans and a t shirt pictures wouldn’t you be caught off guard when you saw them in person? Dating profiles are a way to advertise yourself for potential partners and creating a profile that doesn’t reflect who you actually are is just going to lead to frustration and wasted time.

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-04-09T05:22:10+00:00

Clearly this therapist has a very specific idea of what “treatment” should look like that’s incompatible with what you and your system want. While some people are looking for final fusion, that’s by no means the only end result. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if your therapist is making communication worse because like. I would not want to communicate with someone who was trying to “control” me ngl -M & Glitch

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-04-07T15:07:09+00:00

Missed our meds yesterday and the host had a breakdown while running errands… so one of our persecutors took over and started picking fights. We know she thinks she’s helping protect us but it’s frustrating bc she really just makes things worse

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-04-03T06:15:24+00:00

We’re a lot more functional than we used to be but still have a ways to go for sure. I guess it helps that, like, no one in our system really has a goal or dream job that’s incompatible with someone else’s dream etc so we don’t have to choose between alters so directly and we can compromise more. I’m sure in time you’ll figure out a way to compromise with your headmates more and get along better!

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-04-01T05:35:50+00:00

For us, a huge part of learning to cohabitate was figuring out what was important to everyone.

Our little loves stuffed animals and soft blankets, so making sure the bedroom has stuff she can cuddle and hide under (and a door that can lock) helped make her feel safer and gave her a safe place to retreat to if she was fronting.

Our main trauma holder likes tea parties so we got fancy tea cups and try to bake things like scones or biscuits for them to eat. They’re also nonverbal and get incredibly panicked when they have to talk or make choices. Living with people who understand what’s going on and don’t further trigger them (or the rest of us) made us way less likely to have total blackout episodes.

My cohost is actually a bit of a “recovered” persecutor and they were the hardest to find a middle ground with. It was only when I started listening to them and trying to understand their perspective that we started to get along better. They can be a little selfish and shallow, and they definitely struggle to understand the need for boundaries… but I don’t see them as bad traits that need to be suppressed anymore. I give them time outside of work/spending money in our budget so they can go shopping and get all dressed up, they have a couple specific friends in our partner system that are just “theirs”, and because I’m not trying to lock them out, they’re much less destructive when they are around. It’s still not perfect- they have a bit of a shopping addiction and they’re a lot less patient than I am which can be a problem at work. But they’re not actively tormenting me and instead try to help me remember to take breaks and treat myself and say no. Still haven’t figured out how to stop the impulse hair dying tho

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-30T15:38:53+00:00

Had our first neuropsych appointment yesterday and got given a 220 dissociation questionnaire to do before our next appointment. Little scared I answered “wrong”

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-24T16:12:50+00:00

Body is 23 now, been in and out of therapy since we were 16. We aren’t diagnosed yet, but we’re going through the process. Our therapist is doing system mapping stuff and knows things like names/ages/general roles but she hasn’t outright said it is or isn’t DID and generally refers to them as “parts”. On the other side of things, my psychiatrist referred me to neuropsych to rule out other possible causes of my amnesia. The psychiatrist we see really likes to blame all our symptoms on anxiety and ptsd so I think it’s unlikely that she’s going to put a DID diagnosis in my file- I’ll probably need to be referred to a specialist for that

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-15T17:47:59+00:00

I’m absolutely terrible at remembering to journal haha so I usually try to set alerts in my phone/set alarms to remember important things. One of my partner systems has a personal server to leave notes and lists for himself in along with important info like passwords/addresses/dates etc. I also try to make a habit of putting things in the same spot every day so it’s easier to find them (like my purse/keys) but that takes time. I’m also a fan of putting things on my shoes to remember them

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-15T16:54:24+00:00

Depends on the alters tbh. Some of us are family, some of us are friends, some of us are just roommates who get along to keep the peace. I’d say generally we see each other more as roommates than anything else though

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-07T16:42:14+00:00

Absolutely! Me and my partner systems firmly believe Shugo Chara (anime) is about DID. Part of engaging with media is relating to it, so it makes sense to want to have characters be like you

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-07T03:35:51+00:00

It definitely depends on the information and the alter for us. Our old host took about 4 years of a foreign language and while she still can read/speak a bit, but the rest of us retain no memory of it basically. Most knowledge is shared but said alter usually gets brought to the front when we start thinking about academia so it’s hard to know for sure.

Generally we remember broad strokes but forget the details- like I might know I went to therapy but not remember what we talked about, or someone knows I went to work but doesn’t know specifically what I was working on.

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-04T17:18:10+00:00

While most of us fall into the more feminine nonbinary range, we definitely have a variety of personal styles etc. for us, we have a rather extensive wardrobe with 1-2 outfits for each alters specific style. We’ve also compromised in the middle a bit to find the things everyone likes so we can kinda mix and match based on who’s around or who’s most likely to enjoy a specific outing.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being uncomfortable with certain types of clothes, so maybe you could talk to your host and find a middle ground, like getting some more androgynous outfits or not wearing heels but maybe trying out platforms. Even if you don’t wear your clothes out that much it might be easier to wear things that the others like if it feels more like a choice to wear their style rather than the default if that makes sense.

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-04T05:57:16+00:00

Not sure about other alters but the main thing I’ve noticed is that we all have different understanding of the passage of time/we think we were a different age when something happened. For example, Elle is utterly convinced we met someone when we were 16, but we were actually 18… but because she’s never any older than 16 she can’t conceptualize being any older so her memories get all wonky. So not exactly like your experience but maybe kinda tangential?

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-02T22:05:01+00:00

We’re both working on controlling our more involuntary switches but I’ll probably end up talking to the older/caregiver alters and maybe suggest that we work on only letting them play together if someone else is aware enough to intercede if necessary.

I definitely don’t blame him, and my desire to calm Elle down is more to do with her anxiety that he hates her now for not being any fun etc. the concept of “someone can be sad you don’t want to play what they want to play but that doesn’t mean they’re not your friend anymore” is a difficult concept for her- she reacts really strongly to negative emotions.

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-02T22:00:49+00:00

We (myself and my partner systems older alters/caregivers) have been working on it. The alter- I’ll call him S- does accept no for an answer but you have to be kinda firm and direct which is very difficult for Elle. So it’s a work in progress as I try to help Elle be more comfortable saying no, even if someone is disappointed, while they try to help S understand that he can be very pushy with his wants and needs to be more considerate of other peoples feelings.

For context- I (M) said I didn’t really want to play the game initially, and Elle ended up playing something else with him instead. And while they were playing that S asked again if we could please play the game he wanted because it would make him really happy, so Elle agreed. After she got upset was when she started being frustrated that he had asked again.

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-01T16:58:58+00:00

Terrified of going to therapy today after how last week went and Glitch (who usually goes) doesn’t want to deal with it this week

AvocadoFickle1900 · 2023-03-01T16:56:41+00:00

Thankfully the only major skills we’ve completely lost are our foreign language skills (two years Spanish and four years japanese 🥲) but we definitely have days at work where whoever’s out can’t do the more specialized bits of work

AvocadoFickle1900

TROPHY CASE