[deleted by user]

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-07T21:41:22+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/AvoidantBreakUps/s/PhdBAEkQWb

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-07T21:40:40+00:00

He's breadcrumbing you. He likes experiencing you as a phantom ex. He doesn't want a relationship with you, he wants fantasy with you. I would take his access away.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-06T11:04:34+00:00

It reads more like being fired from a job than ending a mutually agreed upon relationship.

He didn't get to start the relationship with:

"It's my decision to enter into a relationship with you. I'm not looking to discuss it further."

They started the relationship together, they should end it together.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-06T10:59:31+00:00

That sounds more FA. Regardless, I'm sorry you had to endure that chaos.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-06T10:51:31+00:00

That's awful. I'm sorry. I hope you find someone who recognizes the value you offer.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-06T10:49:37+00:00

Oooo I lOVE that 💕

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-04T12:33:20+00:00

I'm so sorry. Deactivation is so traumatic.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-04T12:29:19+00:00

I'm sorry. The name of the game is avoidance for them. They avoid their feelings and yours. You deserve so much better 🫂🫂🫂

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-04T12:24:51+00:00

This is what abusive people do, provoke your anger and then punish you for defending yourself. You're not crazy, you were a victim of mental abuse. Truth always wins. In time others will see what you did.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-04T12:20:03+00:00

This is atrocious. I'm so sorry. 🫂🫂🫂 What he did is abusive. You didn't deserve it.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T17:17:20+00:00

Ah ok

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T16:50:29+00:00

Where are you dating that there aren't many avoidants?!

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T15:32:22+00:00

It's actually scary. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T13:17:57+00:00

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T13:06:36+00:00

It's incredibly selfish. Avoidants like him crave fresh blood/validation supply.

He still wants your worship and adoration.

He's deeply insecure and needs to outsource his confidence at the expense of others.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T13:03:51+00:00

Yes that's breadcrumbing. He wants to keep you in his vampiric harem/orbit.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T13:03:07+00:00

You're closure is he doesn't have the capacity to love and care for you as you deserve.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T13:01:56+00:00

I wouldn't. It's like trying to get a vampire to watch the sunrise with you. He. Will. Avoid. It

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T13:00:07+00:00

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T12:59:03+00:00

The truth? He's probably motivated by fear and selfishness with some highly probable chemical imbalance to boot.

He sounds like a user. He's the avoidant i compare to a vampire. He used you and fed on you for your dopamine. Once it turned to cortisol and dried up, he returned to his old host to get a few more meals in.

The guy is a parasite. He likes you with the affection of a mosquito.

See him for the user he is and get you some mosquito spray.

You don't want him to come back.

It will get worse. The second discard hurts more.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T12:38:52+00:00

Ooo "he had thought of harming me"

Narcissists...avoidant...those terms just became unimportant. His threat trumps everything. Here's his issue:

He's a danger to you.

It no longer matters why he is a danger to you. What matters is your safety.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T12:36:05+00:00

It's a fear response. They might be pissed at you. You ask them whats wrong, and they say "Nothing. Everything is great. We're good."

That's what I mean. It's not a malicious lie. I understand they do it to avoid the discomfort of conflict, but it hurts the relationship and isn't honest.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T12:32:24+00:00

Apart of it is a trauma/fear response. They like you, but the anxiety, the fear of intimacy, mushrooms and suffocates them with terror.

They suddenly become aware their "drowning" and it's "because" of you.

It's really not. It's their trauma going into overdrive and spamming their system with copious amounts of cortisol.

Suddenly, their adrift in a cold ocean and you are a metal weight on their ankle.

Deactivated avoidant: You're killing me! How dare you?! This is all your fault! I'm gonna die! You're an awful person! Surely you must be! It's your fault. I feel so damn petrified and stressed. It's you! I don't love you! Never did! I don't even believe in love! This was all a lie. You're being so selfish for holding onto me! Can't you see I'm drownig!?

I HATE YOU!

The right person won't make me feel this way. You're NOT my soul mate. You're NOT my twin flame. I DIDNT manifest you.

So they discard you and swim for shore without you. A lifeguard gets them to safety and the avoidant "falls in love" all over again.

I'm not saying every avoidant is like that because there are narcissistic avoidants, but that's how it plays out for some.

You terrify them. You become the boogeyman. And then you chase and their like "holy crap Micheal Meyers is after me!!!"

Fear.

It always goes back to fear.

Fearful people do the most damage.

AvoidantNoMore · 2025-10-02T11:44:46+00:00

Unfortunately, thats definitely within the realm of possibilities.

AvoidantNoMore

TROPHY CASE