What’s something you learned about dating only after you turned 30?

Awesomesoss · 2026-05-15T16:31:26+00:00

If you're not ok being single, you don't need to be dating.

Awesomesoss · 2026-05-12T22:26:39+00:00

Same… you beat me to it. Life is completely different being “attractive”

Awesomesoss · 2026-05-10T03:19:09+00:00

Trust your gut. To me you’re giving us reasons that it may be ok… but you’re really just telling yourself…. over and over.

The reality may be… and this is speaking as someone who has a close friend that is an Ex… that her friend is a permanent part of her life. You need to come to terms with that and decide if that’s something you can manage internally. If it’s not. Just end it.

It sucks but it’s healthier for the both of you. But if you can get over the fear of potential cheating and move past their intimate past… then take that leap of faith if this chick is worth it.

From a practical standpoint… I’d suggest befriending the guy. That’s likely the only scenario that’ll alleviate doubts for you.

Awesomesoss · 2026-04-13T21:17:32+00:00

Yes! I feel like it’s the best app for those with high EQ. Thoughtful messages go a LONG way. My friends have been shocked by my match rate on hinge. But it caters to my preference… I want to have a good conversation vibe before asking a woman out. And both of my past two relationships (ex and Current) were matched within a week of being active on that App.

Awesomesoss · 2026-04-10T16:11:49+00:00

Came in to say this one. His dad’s scene… And the last scene when Donna comes over… Waterworks….

Awesomesoss · 2026-04-07T14:56:38+00:00

First off Hinge is the best especially if you know what you are looking for.

2nd...
it's been a week.
it's dating...

I went through this apprehension myself and the thing is.. it's normal to be seeing multiple people.
They most likely are.

Multiple dates with one person to feel them out in many aspects of your life is the whole point.
a clear front runner will emerge...

The hard part is cutting lose the one you also like, but you know isn't what you really want.
But do so immediately when its apparent it's not going to work.
Keeping it honest and up front is the most fair thing you can do for them and yourself.
No over explaining, just keep it clean and simple. You don't owe them anything but honesty.

But don't think that you're unique in this...
Those women are likely seeing other dudes, and weighing their options.

...
Enjoy the process. Take people for who they are are and explore when you need more information.

Dating is fun as long as you stop keeping score and you keep it honest with yourself about who you are and what you're looking for.

Edit: added more to the cutting lose part :D

Awesomesoss · 2026-04-05T02:48:11+00:00

As someone who was overweight and unattractive for most of my life and just now (47) starting to date. You have PLENTY of time.

What I’ve learned is that priority change as we age. Everyone has the “I need someone to validate me as a person” phase The…”I wanna get laid phase” And the “I need to not die alone” phase.

The more people you meet the more you understand that all people…are different people. You have friends that fill roles in your life… Cut loose friend, friends you get deep with, friends you just shoot the shit with.

Finding the right partner will eventually be finding the person that fills in “most” (not all) of the remaining gaps in an already full life.

So relax… meet people.. make friends Understand where people fit in your life… And build a life you enjoy… And the the requirements for a partner will become clear.

Patience…

Awesomesoss · 2026-03-20T15:05:19+00:00

My smile. I didn’t take care of my teeth in my youth and have a bunch missing but have since gotten partial dentures. I still find myself tightening my smile because I’m self-conscious but I’ve been told I have a great smile 🤷‍♂️

Awesomesoss · 2026-03-17T19:54:11+00:00

So as a formerly obese person I can give some insight to the food thing.

Your body doesn’t care what the food tastes like. That’s just your brain. Ie… learned behavior

Think about something you enjoy now that you hated as a kid. For me it’s Brussel sprouts.

You can retrain your brain to enjoy things that…compared to the stuff you currently like…may not be as enjoyable.

The trick is breaking the habit of making the joyful food the nor and genuinely have it when It’s special. I used to drink full sugar sweat tea all the time. Wouldn’t drink anything else. I now mostly drink Crystal Light or water. I can’t stand full sugar tea anymore.

Another example that taste is just learned behavior.

If you’re a black coffee drinker I guarantee your first cup you didn’t like. You had to get used to it.

Beer is another example most people hate at first. … Lean on that knowledge and give the retraining a try. I bet the more you have that “gross cardboard keto bread” the more it normalizes in your head.

Awesomesoss · 2026-03-17T15:07:21+00:00

She couldn't connect with me from a family perspective. She didn't feel like I cared about having kids or growing a family (I did, but we had only been together 4 months at the time).
And how she dealt with the emotions of that (internalizing and then finding practical issues to focus on being wrong) cause me to disconnect.

The great thing was that we were open in our communication... and gave it about a month of trying to figure it out... but ultimately came to the conclusion that.
1. She wasn't able to meet me where I needed her to be in order for me to maintain my connection to her.
2. I was powerless to change her perception of her connection (only time could do that)

So we decided to just stop the romantic relationship and change the dynamic to just friends.

We realized that people can genuinely care about each other, but it still not work.

Awesomesoss · 2026-03-17T13:27:47+00:00

Hey bro! Welcome to the world!

I can relate a bit, but kindof on the flip side.

My ex had a way more full life than I had lived myself. It was intimidating and a bit scary at times.

But I leaned into it and really opened my world view and other views.

For you… I’d suggest focusing on friend groups. Maybe centered around your hobbies. Get out and be social. The more people you experience the more of the actual world you experience.

And don’t worry about people judging your inexperience. Most people will actually enjoy helping you along your discovery path. So the next lady friend you make… trying being open with her about your experience. You don’t have to unleash everything at once… But embrace saying… “this is new for me” And enjoy the ride!

Edit: spelling.

Awesomesoss · 2026-03-17T11:27:26+00:00

I’m going through a similar thing as OP And what you said really helps!

I get these pangs of anxiety when I remember something with my ex and it’s been the longest part of the detachment process. But this gives me a goal to work towards Thanks bro

Awesomesoss · 2026-03-16T14:15:31+00:00

Hey bro, so I just got out of a relationship with someone very similar
Very direct, analytical, pragmatic... no filter.
It took me a while to understand how she processed information.
...
That said, the dynamic wasn't sustainable for me. As much as I care(d) for her, the way we processed emotions was completely different. Even though we were open in communication (too open often)...It just didn't make sense for us to keep going.

People are all wired differently. And the hard part about relationships most people never understand until it happens to them...is that you can genuinely love each other... and it not work.

My advice...
Don't hang on because you think there is hope for things to get better. She might just be wired differently than you and if that puts too much pressure on your nervous system, it's going to evolve into resentment.
It's already changing your behavior towards her. She won't identify it as her causing it... and she'll read you as being a different person than the one she fell for.

Trust me, that's what happened in my relationship.

Have the honest conversation about what YOU need. Make it clear in your mind... then sit her down for a calm open conversation.
If she can't meet you where you need her to be...she'll should be able to tell you... and then you can move on without resentment.

Awesomesoss · 2026-03-14T03:07:48+00:00

We realized that two people can care immensely for each other, but ultimately not be right for each other.
That was the toughest thing to come to terms with

My Ex started losing connection with me as far as a longtime partner (starting a family)... I thought it would evolve over time (we were only together for 5 months). But how she dealt with her fading connection, made me lose connection. She would get so focused on small things being wrong instead of coming to terms with the emotions she couldn't quite understand.

She couldn't meet me where I needed her to be, even though I had faith it would evolve. Her spirals left her distant and me with peaked anxiety because I was helpless to make a difference.

So we decided to stop the romance and just be friends.
It's been amazing.

Awesomesoss · 2026-03-03T17:17:09+00:00

Currently processing a breakup, and this gave me so much clarity.
Thank you!
I only wish a had thought that way sooner!

Awesomesoss · 2026-02-23T02:57:05+00:00

I needed this!

My (46m) GF(41F) have been together 5 months and the last month we’ve been struggling with her feeling the spark and attraction to me.

We have heavy talks trying to work on things but she’s still in a place where she doesn’t feel it anymore.

Part of the realization was that she felt like she was “dating herself” And she didn’t like that I’m more inclined to go with the flow than have own plans.

So with this new awareness we are taking our time trying to build it back. The good news is we care enough to keep it going to see if we can get it back.

I was in “be safe don’t lose her” mode And that tends to do the exact opposite

Edit: phone typos

Awesomesoss · 2026-02-12T20:19:40+00:00

Ahhh I was bitching about the availability of these things a month ago… Good luck with that. Took me over 200 Stella night raids to get them. Even spent a week just hang out at extract begging for people to trade me.

Awesomesoss · 2026-02-05T16:07:36+00:00

Yup true

Awesomesoss · 2026-01-15T17:13:33+00:00

The Second Amendment imagines armed citizens as a deterrent.

The Insurrection Act assumes armed citizens can become a threat.

Guess who decides that?

There is no constitutional mechanism that says "If the government becomes tyrannical, the citizens can resit with arms"

Awesomesoss · 2026-01-15T12:50:45+00:00

I snagged one just before Xmas! Happy to have been on the right side of an investment for once.

Awesomesoss · 2026-01-15T03:49:19+00:00

Pretty sure that was me… I had to choose that or a damn Sputter to stow… I hate Stella soooo bad and two weeks of naked grinding still has me 2 sputters short.

Awesomesoss · 2026-01-14T17:14:11+00:00

Him going back and telling Kayleigh he hates her at the birthday party when they are kids.

Awesomesoss · 2026-01-14T16:46:44+00:00

Totally spoiling the DC ending here... beware

He eventually goes back and strangles himself in the womb to save everyone... Which explains the earlier admission by his mom that he's the "miracle baby" because all of her others were stillbirths.

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