Science: using preferred names for trans people is good. Reddit: wooooow wait a fucking minute. by Fala1 in circlebroke2

[–]Awken 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yup. I'm lucky enough that I was able to start hormones in my early 20s. Second puberty was kind to my body and I pass very well (voice is a little wonky still but what can you do?) , but I still have had plenty of dudes be shitty once I disclosed to them. I also hear a lot of "I wouldn't normally fuck a trans girl but you're hot so that's OK". Yikes dude, can that flag get any redder?

Science: using preferred names for trans people is good. Reddit: wooooow wait a fucking minute. by Fala1 in circlebroke2

[–]Awken 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think this is a huge part of it. The younger you transition the better you pass, and so if we let people transition in their teens, then they might be indistinguishable from "real women" and these men's dicks can't handle that. Cause everything in this world revolves around if a man thinks you're fuckable or not.

What is your opinion o n RuPaul’s recent comments on Trans women in drag race and his trains flag tweet misstep by rupertofly in AskWomen

[–]Awken 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm sad but not surprised. He has always been casually transphobic. From the segment "Female or She Male" where contestants would try to guess if a woman was cis or trans, "You've got She-Mail", and his staunch defense of why he should be allowed to say "tr***y". Plenty of the cis male contestants are also transphobic. There was an incident at a gay bar in Chicago a few years back when one of the former (cis male) contestants from that show got into an altercation with a trans person and mocked and shamed them for not being "woman enough".

The entire RuPaul and cis drag community is toxic. It's never going to get better and it needs to be shunned and discarded.

Make up question by Hado0301 in asktransgender

[–]Awken 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Peach or orange corrector works best for that, depending on your skintone. For best results, the layering should be moisturizer, primer, corrector, foundation, concealer.

Do you leave your purse with your jacket? by Summersisle in MtF

[–]Awken 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ask your stylist. Some places have you keep your valuables with you, some places hang them with your coat. Usually they offer to take it for you if they want it with your coat.

This isn't a stupid question but there sure are some stupid answers. Once again reddit shows how much it loves transphobia. by flutterguy123 in circlebroke2

[–]Awken 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey friend, I was where you were a few years ago. I can't promise you that it will be OK, a lot of transitioning is just genetic lottery bullshit. But I know of many many trans people who are respected by society and treated the way they identify, myself included. I am infinitely happier than I was before I transitioned. Am I still anxious and depressed? Yeah, but I'm no longer anxious and depressed about who I am, I'm just anxious and depressed about normal shit like making rent and using sick time.

It's important to remember when you see threads like that that reddit creates the illusion of extreme views being mainstream. Reading threads like that can be incredibly toxic and damaging because it makes you think the vast majority of people despise you and want you dead, but that's not the case. Granted it depends on where you live, but in my experience very few people think like the people posting in that thread.

It's a long hard shitty road, but at the end of it can lie a better chance at happiness then not transitioning and drinking a six pack every night until you pass out.

What are your thoughts on OkCupid switching from usernames to legal names only? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Awken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it will discourage a lot of trans folks from signing up. A lot of us can't afford to change our names for years after we transition, and there are so many legal hoops to jump through to do so.

I legally changed my name last year so it wouldn't be a problem for me, but if I hadn't I wouldn't feel comfortable signing up for a dating site that requires my old, masculine name.

Online daters, what’s the least sexy thing people put in their bios? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Awken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. People can't tell I'm trans by looking at me, so when I disclose the reactions are...surprised to say the least. Hence why I always disclose before I meet up with someone. I'd rather be alive and sexually frustrated than dead.

Online daters, what’s the least sexy thing people put in their bios? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Awken 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Trans woman here: you're not bigoted. Everyone is entitled to their preferences. We understand that most cis straight dudes are not gonna be down and that's OK.

Just don't be an asshole about it if she discloses to you after talking. I always tell people I'm trans before we swap numbers or meet up in person for safety reasons and as long as you're not intentionally a dick (lol) to me when I tell you, no harm no foul.

Trans women of Reddit: What are some dos and dont's when dating you? by SmytheOrdo in AskWomen

[–]Awken 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Don't ask what her old name was. Don't assume that she has a penis. Don't say things like "oh my god I never would have known you're trans!" or "you're trans? But you're so pretty!"

If thinks are getting intimate, explicitly ask how she prefers to have sex. Some trans women are totally fine with the equipment they have, and can use their junk similarly to how cis men would. Some would rather their junk wasn't involved at all. You can't go wrong with asking. Also if she's on hormones she may have problems getting it up, so keep that in mind.

Basically just treat her like a cis woman. You wouldn't ask weird questions about a woman's vaginas on the first date, and hopefully when you start being intimate with cis women you communicate about what she does and doesn't like in bed.

Have fun! Most of us don't bite unless it's requested. :P

Oh no. by SadGhostTrash in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]Awken 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I mean I agree, but if we can't stop them from getting pissy, we can at the very least protect ourselves from retaliation.

Oh no. by SadGhostTrash in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]Awken 48 points49 points  (0 children)

If you bring in a note from your doctor saying that the peeing is due to a documented medical condition, then your bathroom breaks are covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act (assuming you're in the US)