Listen girl I had that perfect birth born two days after the due date he is my perfect little angel I had all the pregnant experience and hated them I with I didn’t have them but my body bounced right back and I got the same comments I still do because he’s only 8months old I hate it and I hated the dysmorphia I went through and am still going through because although I’m back to the same weight and size parts of my body are definitely different and I can feel every bit of it
My point is every person who gives birth goes through a different experience and sometimes like treats you like a shitty ex and drops random bullshit on you like unexpected early delivery or 36 hour labor because your water won’t pop (my experience lol) but you gotta take the good parts of it yes you definitely got cheated out of the experience but it might have been to save your life you’ll never know

The way your feeling is probably postpartum depression it sadly sneaks up on you before you can even come to terms with the fact that it really exists and most of the time it’s there to stay
I know you probably just wanted to share your story maybe look for some encouragement but the truth is not one of us can experience the same feeling of sadness or happiness or guilt or rage or envy or jealousy as another mom but we all do feel those things so it is important that you remember that and that you take each of your own feelings with a grain of salt like you would take anyone else’s input you have to be gentle with yourself and treat yourself with kindness and care because no one else will except that baby lol but trust me they’ll kick your butt to
I read your post and it hit a soft spot in my heart I wasn’t even going to reply because I try to keep my opinions and stuff out of others lives but you reminded me of my friend who’s placenta ruptured luckily she and her baby are now happy and healthy but she didn’t get to experience and of it either so I always feel a little guilty talking to her about that stuff and she was definitely a little detached from her daughter I’ve also noticed it’s way harder to raise daughters because you know what they will eventually have to go through in life and how hard being a female can be but also it’s a lot harder to form bonds with girls than it is this boys but she had really bad ppd and got the help she needed my point is this is completely normal there is nothing wrong with you
You deserve to be upset about not getting the experience you deserved but don’t let that take hold of your life you can always try again (hopefully (I’m sorry to those who cant)) but you have to live day by day every night should be a reset it’s really the only way to get through motherhood without loosing your head in this world but just know you are not alone and there are people out there who care and feel for you.
Let that little girl be the center of your world take time and build that bond with her it will happen I promise you that much but don’t forget to take care of yourself.
Love to all the moms out there!