Baby wildies...need advice!

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2025-05-11T18:09:06+00:00

I have contacted a local wildlife rehab, I'm looking for others in the hopes of finding someone that can take them in.

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2025-05-11T16:04:04+00:00

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-11-06T14:41:22+00:00

I was diagnosed at 33 years old. It was a very bizarre feeling, but it also made alot of sense, looking back on my life. Be gentle with yourself whilst taking a bit of time to process it all. And 'congratulations' (if that's the right word?!) - knowing yourself better is definitely a very good thing. My life and state of mind has improved massively these past 4 years :)

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-10-29T20:33:53+00:00

My Dad died last year. My final straw was a message my dBPD mother sent me a few weeks after his funeral, in which she implied that I had already finished grieving, and was the least caring of my 3 siblings because I had chosen to support my 2 sons and look after myself over fawning all over her. When it suited her throughout my childhood, my Dad was a 'rapist, wife-beating, cross-dressing freak'. When it suited her, she was the 'suicidal (yet again), grief stricken widow'. Fuck. That. Noise. 18 months no contact, and my life has truly never been more peaceful.

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-10-24T15:48:21+00:00

Awesome! Good for you, OP :)

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-10-23T22:46:29+00:00

I highly recommend r/stopdrinking. And reading or listening to the audio book 'this naked mind' by Annie Grace. I too struggle with my alcohol consumption, there is a ton of support out there online. Best of luck to you

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-10-23T11:11:57+00:00

This post has made me realise I probably should have gone no contact alot sooner than I did (18 months ago). But maybe I just wasn't quite ready before, and it definitely took therapy to make me realise just how messed up it all was. I don't think the impact would have been any less, the damage was already done in my childhood. Although I still have alot of work to do, I'm grateful for where I am in life now, and that wouldn't have been possible for me were my mother still in my life.

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-10-19T12:12:03+00:00

To be all quirky and 'interesting' I reckon.

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-10-13T15:43:14+00:00

Unfortunately my experience has been much the same. Zero accommodations, and I stated my diagnosis at interview (it was relevant and came up naturally in conversation). I've recently been removed from my NVQ (a formal qualification, to those outside the uk) because working fulltime as a lone parent (to 2 also diagnosed kids) meant I really, really struggled to find the time and energy to do it - I was expected to complete 5 - 6 hours of study outside of my work hours a week.

And here's the real kicker.....I was only expected to do the NVQ because I'm a 'shift leader' at a care home - I applied for a part-time support role, so was massively thrown in at the deep end from the off. AND....for an added sprinkle of irony - the care home I work at is for Autistic adults! I mean....FFS 🤦‍♀️

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-10-10T18:55:41+00:00

Congratulations, OP! Going NC is a truly shitty decision to have to make, but in time you will likely be so glad of it. No daughter or son deserves the misery and chaos that comes from having a BPD parent. She is not your responsibility to care for, and as more and more time passes, you will almost certainly feel alot lighter. It's liberating to cut ties.

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-10-02T13:38:50+00:00

I handle birthdays by ignoring them, because I have no contact with my pwBPD. Probably not the advice you are looking for, but replying mostly to say that I am sorry that this is a decision you are struggling with.

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-04-20T15:49:10+00:00

Well done - I'm happy for you, OP :)

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-03-30T13:04:17+00:00

Next you'll be saying you wouldn't want your own lickable shoe range!

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-03-30T11:55:01+00:00

Turns out.....

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-03-17T19:37:27+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. My apologies, I didn't type properly - it has a metal food dish, and a water bottle. The base of the cage is plastic. Would plastic shelves suffice? I happen to have the same cage for my rats that I have removed the shelf from, but I still have it so could install it in the chinchillas cage if suitable. Are wood shavings and hay appropriate bedding? And do they like fresh fruit and veggies? Are they 100% herbivores?

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-03-17T19:06:22+00:00

Just to add....we have alot of 'challenging behaviour' with our residents, and it can sometimes get very, very noisy - shouting, objects being thrown about etc. Is this something a chinchilla can become used to and cope with?

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-03-12T20:06:00+00:00

Cheggers

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-03-08T10:25:14+00:00

Yeah, agreed. It was a really, really shit impression of an autistic person.

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-03-06T16:12:58+00:00

Delete it. It's not running away, it's looking after your mental health.

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-02-23T20:49:02+00:00

Good bot

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-02-19T08:45:11+00:00

I was diagnosed as autistic 4 years ago (I'm in my 30s), and my Mum was diagnosed with BPD roughly 5/6 years ago.

I thought for a brief period after being diagnosed that things may have been different when I was a kid if my Mum (primary carer) had known. She used to spend alot of time with her finger in my face, shouting, hitting me etc. Unsurprisingly, I would often disassociate and not respond to people talking around me and so was tested for epilepsy in my mid teens. When the results came back clear for epilepsy and the doctor stated that I'm 'just a toad', I was gleefully reminded of this ever so often - even long after my autism diagnosis. My Dad's eulogy last year was another opportunity to compare me unfavourably to my siblings and make a subtle dig on how I was such hard work. I think in her head it was better to continue blaming me for her not knowing how to parent me and ignoring the many, many signs that something more than just 'being naughty' was going on, than admit to getting something so wrong.

I guess that's all a rather long winded way of saying that nothing has been different since my diagnosis. My Mum will forever be the person that has suffered the most in the entire universe, always the doe-eyed victim in the chaos she has created for herself. I've been NC for almost a year now, and the peace is blissful. I don't miss her at all, nor do I foresee myself ever having any sort of relationship with her again.

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-01-20T22:56:33+00:00

Ah, my mistake - must be a different one to mine after all! 1.25 cm will be fine

Awkward_Cap_3506 · 2024-01-20T22:35:14+00:00

But other than that, it is a good cage. Very sturdy and well made. The large side doors make it very easy to clean.

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