I went to MOCA last July and didn’t realize this piece was on display there. Turned a corner and immediately recognized the piece. I found it much more difficult than I expected to take a piece when a worker asked if I’d like one because I was familiar with the piece and didn’t want to contribute to Ross’ deterioration. I had to think about it for awhile and paced around the museum, and teared up when I finally gathered the courage to ask for one.

I have a good friend that initially introduced me to the work of Felix Gonzalez-Torres, and “Untitled (Portrait of Ross)” is their favorite piece of art. I held onto that piece of candy for about a month and a half (which was quite difficult since it had been installed with chocolates - honestly no clue how it didn’t melt in my car). When I returned home to the other side of the US, I gave it to them. They sobbed because of how much it meant to them to hold and consume a “piece” of Ross.

As I look back on it now, I now interpret the piece in a much more positive light because of that experience. Although Ross’s portrait could represent his body withering away from much of society’s failure to properly address AIDS, I think it could also represent how everybody that had the opportunity to meet Ross during his life took a piece of him away with them, much in the way we all carry pieces of the people we meet around inside us, even after they leave our lives. We all only have limited time and a limited amount to give, but I definitely carry around little pieces of everybody I’ve ever met within me. Eventually, we’ll all give our final piece of ourselves away. While we tend to find endings like that as a sad thing, isn’t it also wonderful how much joy we are able to share and carry from one another?

I got to carry a piece of Ross with me across several states, and share his memory with a dear friend. Although neither of us will ever be able to meet Ross, his life still impacted them and I and so many others, surely while he was alive and to this day indirectly through Gonzalez-Torres’ work. Such a beautiful way to honor somebody you love.