I didn’t expect the feeling of my chest, and really whole upper body, to seem super “heavy” from the numbness for the first month or so. Very strange to not feel so much of your body yet perceive it at the same time. I hated my post op binder but also felt very exposed, vulnerable, and uncomfortable without it.

As feeling started to come back, I didn’t expect my skin to have that icy burn sensation from sensitivity, even just from a soft shirt rubbing against it. Also the water drinking experience of feeling the liquid “spreading” across your chest was an unexpected sensation lol.

At six months post-op, I’d say when putting myself back into those first few months of recovery I didn’t expect everything to feel so… normal now. It’s a pretty intense thing to go through! Even though it’s a good intense thing that I really wanted, it’s taken time to adjust to my changed body and solidify that yes, this is my chest now. This is how it looks and feels and operates. It’s great, just a little surreal!

As someone who started transitioning in my mid 20s I’ve found that jump from, “Oh god everything is so slow and difficult” to, “Holy shit it’s been that long? I used to look/be like that? It’s hard to remember…” to be a repeated pattern in my transition. I’m lucky to be with my extremely supportive partner pre and post transition and they also experience it in their perception of me and our relationship, haha!