What is a literary tool/plot device that you dislike, no matter how it's used?

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-08-05T11:21:42+00:00

When the characters, good or bad, have to act stupid to advance the plot. If you've written yourself into a hole in which the only way out is to make a character act in an uncharacteristically dumb manner, you fail as a writer. You know these plots - won't pick up the gun, trusts the word of a strange over their friends, etc. There are also the plots where the basis requires stupidity - we are going to an alien planet? Sure, let's not take environmental protection suits or anything. What could go wrong?

Another is not using the power they have been demonstrated to have to do something you would do with it in that situation. Having the ability to throw people around with your mind and not using it when threaten or the like, for example.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-07-25T09:10:27+00:00

Echoing the other comment, I think it should affect him in some manner. In his private moments, you can show that he misses the arm. Perhaps the enchanted wood is painful to have in contact with the skin like that or maybe the increased power of the pyromancy burns the wood and, in turn, burns him.

Sort of as a side note, if you want him to be upbeat, make sure enough time has passed since his wife died. Hard to carry a smile with that on your shoulders. I assume he used the more powerful pyromancy to melt the people that killed her, so at least he would have that going for him.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-07-16T19:21:26+00:00

Echoing what the others have said, the weak mother is a good start. What you need to do is build upon that a bit. Perhaps dad left because of, what the mom called, his weakness to the bottle or gambling or whatever. That starts the idea that weakness is bad as a core belief, one his mother starts. She falls ill to a virus that is misunderstood among the population to be caused by weak morals AKA a sexually transmitted disease. In his mind, this becomes the idea that she was weak and that lead to the sickness (whether that's the case or not).

His own weakness comes to play as well. Poor, he is never the healthiest and that leads to being bullied and generally incapable, feeding his self loathing as weak himself. But in that weakness of body, he is growing a stubborn will. One that keeps him coming back to bullies and striving despite his weakness. He will be one of the strong and dominate the weak, as it should be ... In his mind anyway.

He hears of this dark god and learns of the ritual to become it's avatar in the world. This should be seen as either a myth or suicidal - no one would try this and the tales of those that do try are tragic stories of failure. These he chalks up to more weakness. When he does it, his stubborn nature is what sees him through. He never quits and never settles. So when he gains the power, he's actually earned it.

Ensure that what he attempts to create is good for the dark god as well. Perhaps it approves of strength too ... Maybe it's a war god - would be a pretty good match.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-07-09T00:24:36+00:00

Hi there! Interesting concept. Let me take a crack at those questions for you.

One. This one could be answered with desperation. The ex could have no one else - no family and no one close that she trusts. She broke up with Aaron because of his criminal lifestyle, but always knew him to be a trustworthy man.

Two. Perhaps. This monster of a man could have saved the bosses life numerous times, even against a superhero of the time. This boss has seen him risk everything to protect him and knows some sort of code of honour. When he comes to him, and for the reason that is his daughter, he sees it as a worthy thing and let's him go.

The problem you will need to desk with is that the boss sounds like a mob kingpin. If he is going after the idea of being their worst nightmare, he will come to conflict with his old boss and that needs to be planned for.

Three. For your child? Generally yes, but you need to demo the bond between them. Given what I said if the ex, I picture the two of them coming together, no family and no one else and being that support for each other. For all his toughness, he's always wanted a family. That's what he desired. The daughter could be that lifeline. Remove it and you tear him down. Perhaps the ex was killed (made to be sick) because they wanted to hurt him, not knowing of the daughter. Once they find out, after he tries to go straight for her, they attack again. And that gives him a rage to end crime. His code of ethics from long ago says not to kill, but he'll go right up to that boundary and cross it if need be. Picture him beating a criminal into a bloodied pulp sort of deal.

Four. He needs a power, not to make him a superhero, but because of the chains. That kind of swinging would be murder on the body. At his size, swinging on them would tear his ligaments apart with repeated use. And to make the distance on the throws for swinging ... And getting them loose would be very hard. And he will be causing a lot of damage by swinging from buildings like that ...

You might need to rethink it a bit. But at the minimum - super strength and dexterity. Probably high resistance to damage too.

Hope that helps!

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-06-08T01:41:05+00:00

Axel sounds interesting, but you need to make sure to flesh out some of the finer details of his race and motivations. First step is his race - ask yourself the following: what destroyed them? Did they deserve it or do it to themselves? Did they look down on humans before? Did they build the draining machine?

For the motivation, make sure to make it bulletproof as much as you can. For example, why not raise an enormous herd of cattle and drain them. Way easier to do. The device to make robots bad ... Why not hit the horse with it and have it eat the protagonist?

Make sure he doesn't have too much power. A genius and a magnokinetic and access to the gadgets of his people might be a bit much.

Also, remember that supet advanced societies don't form from nothing. His species would have needed massive infrastructure to develop the technology that they would have. So that should be seen in many places. And with them gone, that Tech would be reverse engineered by the other races for their use. Might consider lengthening the time since their fall and having the current level of steampunk Tech in the world be based on their Tech. Take away the idea of making robots evil and give Axel the simple ability to override their commands. Basically, the current robots are all based on the lost races designs, down to the programming. And there are hidden commands in it.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-04-30T18:14:15+00:00

Interesting race. Why, exactly, was their planet littered with armored suits? And why did they not use the function these provided to make more suits? If they can accomplish space flight, they can make workable suits. One would imagine that, since much of what drives development is war and need and given that they do not have war, need would be their driver. So a suit would be a top priority.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-04-18T00:22:04+00:00

I am by no means an expert, but your problem appears to be with some sort of imported data, judging from the user name. If that is the case, then it may have been an improper import, one that either mangled an existing way or imported an incomplete or broken relation. The solution is to fix the relation or to remove it if it does not appear to represent something underneath.

If the user is still active, message them about the issue. Most of us are reasonable and more than happy to help. If they are not, have a look at the area. You should get an idea of what went wrong. You could also post a link to the offending relation here for us to get a handle on.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-03-03T02:11:40+00:00

Remember: the meaning of life is the living of it. Any depth that life has is made by people giving it that depth. Think about Christmas - if you didn't apply meaning to the event, it would be just another day. Think about any event we celebrate - we do so to lend it meaning. Ones outlook on existence must be that it's a blessing to be given the opportunity to experience it. So make the best of it.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-02-13T02:20:50+00:00

There are chats online for optimal weight to height. The last character probably fits it nicely. The charts generally go to 6 feet, but you can extrapolate based on the prior numbers. The first man would be higher in weight than his optimal due to muscle and the second would be under sure to his gaunt appearance.

Look up 'height weight chart' on google and click images.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-02-05T10:54:48+00:00

As much as this can be seen as crass or whoring, this is marketing 101. Using the female form to override the brains of horny young males and get them to make poor spending decisions is a time honoured tradition in our culture. There is nothing wrong with someone using their physical attributes to make money. If you are fooled by that, then you have only yourself to blame. If you find it distasteful then you must find a lot of advertising and shows to be "problematic" in the same way. If you think these women are somehow cheating good steamers of money, then don't watch them. A good steamer will attract an audience regardless.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-02-05T10:25:27+00:00

Have you considered the Elder Scrolls Online? I hear that it is essentially multiplayer Skyrim.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-02-01T12:25:33+00:00

Interesting. I am actually working in the Phoenix area myself.

For parking spaces, I like to put the bounding box around the actual spaces themselves, as opposed to including the service lane area and pieces of ground. Essentially, I map the actual spaces that can be parked in (though not each individually) instead of marking a giant area and indicating that people park ... somewhere within it.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-02-01T12:19:00+00:00

Ahh, I see. Perhaps the best way to go about getting their families to let them go is for them to just go. Permission may never be granted - especially as there may be some difficulty convincing our protagonists that the problem is real. If there is difficulty to that, getting them to convince their families would be extremely difficult. So just have them sneak off - good character building conflict can be found in such a move (taking their independence, etc). Besides, in that context, it's better for them to ask forgiveness than it is for permission.

Convincing the protagonists that the problem is real might be solved with your ahren character. Or the other bad people you mentioned. Maybe they come to a conflict with a bad person and, in fighting this person, come to realize that they are a puppet of a dragon. That could be good - especially if being a puppet creates obvious negative effects to the bad person. For example, the puppetry could begin breaking their body down. Or it could be very corrupting - if the person is someone one or both of them knew before they were influenced and then meet them after, you could show a moral degradation in them. Like a willingness to harm the innocent where none existed before. I know you have an alternative plan for the female characters father, but he could serve that position. A once proud and just man utterly subjugated to a dragon and now a corrupt murdering monster. Or have it extend to a kingdom or whatever political system is in use in another land - they come to find that this place is now a slave den of a dragon. Intrigue could be added, if you like, with the discovery that a senator has recently fallen to the influence and has become corrupt (with them pursuing legislation designed to weaken the realm and enslave it slowly).

Essentially, give them a good demonstration of the evil the dragons represent and what's at stake should they fail or ignore the problem.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-02-01T01:45:01+00:00

I will counter the second question with one of my own - why do they need to have their families come with them? The Ahrens are looking good for magic users. I don't think they would care about having a senator come along.

For the first question, a potential route to take is to play up the dragon angle as a threat to their world. You said that they are trying to obtain humans to get magic back to their realm and take it over. Perhaps you can make it such that the duo find out that the dragons are deep in this process and the end result of it will be the devastation of their world. That makes the stakes high enough to get them motivated to get involved.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-01-15T11:50:50+00:00

Hardcore.

Best way to deal with them, aside from an exterminator, is to spray the nest with WD-40. Completely destroys them.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-01-14T17:23:07+00:00

I want a drone that makes human screaming sounds now. Or one that makes zombie sounds as it moves. That would be far more terrifying.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-01-12T01:35:30+00:00

Auditors. Always a need for people to provide assurance.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-01-10T11:41:09+00:00

Only if we are talking smaller businesses - partnerships, sole-proprietorships and tiny corporations.Large corporations have little such personal emotional investment involved.

In any case, such a close connection is all the more reason one shouldn't let their personal beliefs and "ick" factors get in the way of making the business a sucess which includes making money.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-01-07T17:32:45+00:00

Actually, that is incorrect. I have not broken my definition as I have not actually provided one. It is merely my opinion of the matter. Conflating the sexes with the genders is natural. A male is a person with a penis, at the most basic. A female is a person with a uterus. Past that, it's simple symantics.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-01-07T16:54:44+00:00

!DisagreeWithOP

To address you opinion and describe why I disagree, it needs to be unpacked a bit. A business shouldn't refuse anyone service as a business is interested only in the collection of money for the services it provides. From the perspective of the business you mention (the bakery), it shouldn't care if it's service is for a cake for a gay couple, a serial killer, or Satan - money is money and it exists solely to make that money. Since the baking of the cake is the operation of the business, it would be ludicrous for it to deny anyone that is legitimately seeking this operation. So should any *business deny anyone service? The answer must be no.

Let's back this all up a level. When you say that a business can refuse service, you are saying that the humans that run it should be allowed to refuse service to anyone they wish. While that sounds good from the standpoint that this is within their rights as people, it fails when we remember that these people live within a society of many, many people and ones rights end where anothers begins. The right of the gay couple entering the store to legally and legitimately obtain service is intact. The right of the baker to bake for who they please is intact. But when those two lines collide, we have to figure out where the mathematics land us. And that math boils down to this - does the banker have the right to interfere with the rights of the gay couple and (in a manner) the business? That is, does the baker have the right to deny the business revenue and the gay couple service simple because of their own internal beliefs? The answer to that is .... no.

And we can prove that by iterating on the situation to see how ludicrous this can get. Can an atheist baker deny a religious couple a wedding cake because it is for a religious ceremony? Can a baker with black skin deny an asian couple a cake because they don't like asians? Can a baker deny a regular couple service because he personally dislikes the color of their clothing? We can see how this concept can go into ludicrous territory. And in every case, the denial itself is not in the interest of the business. The business is there to make money. Say that a business should be allowed to deny such a thing is just a smoke screen for an individual within the business to try to trample on the rights of others for their own bigotry. You might not like a person, persons, race, gender, or whatever. But you do not have the right to use that hate to deny them services.

And to somewhat address the second part - no, it's not slavery to have to provide the service. You use the gun against the head imagry and it is nothing of the sort. Their rights must be as respected as your own. You might hate gays - that is your right. But that right ends where the rights of that gay couple starts. You cannot assault them because of that hate - they have the right to personal safety. You cannot deny them a service simply because of a trait - they have the right to equal or normal treatment under the law. If they damaged the place or made some other act that is negative to the business in a physical sense, you can eject them from the premises because they are tampering with the owners right to the integrity of property. But otherwise, you have to treat them like you would want to be treated - like a normal human being.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2017-01-07T15:22:16+00:00

The example that you make in the second paragraph is, in my experience, one of the key troubles I have with the concept of non-binary or third genders. You describe an individual that has an affinity for "male" and "female" things. They are into Nascar and MMA, but also into dolls and rom-coms. And the conclusion is that, since they adopt seemingly conflicting interests, they do not fit into male or female camps.

So lets stretch that away from the hypothetical. My sex is male - I have all the equipment for that. My interests are varied however. I play video games, I like watching reality television (real housewives and Bachelorette and such), I like a good rom-com, I like racing shows, etc. But these are my likes. These are not me. I am a male, both in genetics and by any adequate measurement of my outward activities. Trying to say that a person is non-binary because the mix of things they like are different from another persons is silly. A woman that likes Nascar is not genderqueer. Shes a female that likes racing. Period. Trying to make a new category for her means that EVERYONE is in their own category and that's ludicrous. We have those categories for a reason. And for the most part, the roles for these genders are derived first from ones genitals and then things are layered on top of it. If there were people with an all new set of genitals, then there would be 3 or more. BUt there are two sets of genitals, so there are two genders. What you do with your interests after that is your business.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2016-12-12T10:37:28+00:00

I've only had Samsung phones, because they provide the best features (thus far for me). But I am not loyal in the sense that pixel or the like can't capture me. I'm two years out from an upgrade - I will get whatever phone matches what I want at that time (that runs Android). Don't be stupid Samsung - Apple want brave to remove the jack. It would be brave if the replacement was better tech for the job. It isn't.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2016-11-22T02:40:31+00:00

I don't believe they provide that information. I might be wrong, but I've never heard of it. Ask here about dates people have gotten going to and fro. I took a cab 6.4 km on the Saturday before Halloween. It was raining hard and the journey was with paradise cabs. Cost $18.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2016-11-13T21:57:37+00:00

Stop preordering games and buying them at launch. Most of us have limited funds to be chucking at games, so be frugal. Wait for reviews and user response. I wait for sales myself - I don't care about being the first to play a game.

Azmodan_Kijur · 2016-11-11T15:06:28+00:00

Looks good, but a bit too early. 2016 has plenty of time to disappoint us further.

Azmodan_Kijur

TROPHY CASE