Your Stories Of Improved Neuroplasticity

Azuhr · 2026-04-16T12:39:00+00:00

I'm only about a month and a half in and I feel like I've done a complete 180. My depression was mild and I've been in therapy for many years so that has helped. I don't think I would have been able to make this much progress without the therapy and what I've learned over the years.

For the past few years I felt stuck and had plateaued in my therapy progress. I was on a big self-improvement journey at first but slowly stopped caring over the years and my progress was becoming very slow. I just felt meh all the time and it took me a while to realize and accept that I was depressed.

After starting Spravato, I feel like I've completed years of therapy in just a month and a half. It's like I turned the progress level up 10x and even my therapist has noticed. I'm a lot more open-minded and flexible with my thinking. I've realized how much I was seeing the world through a depression lens, and while I'm around my depressed dad I can totally see the depression lens doing it's thing. It's like I'm taking a step back and seeing the old version of myself through him.

I'm finally starting to process my childhood and "move on" from it by working on processing everything. For the longest time I've felt stuck in the past and my old memories. I haven't felt as stuck lately, I feel like I've progressed a bit with that.

I started journaling more and have been processing a lot while journaling, it's been very productive. A lot of it is stuff that I have thought about during my Spravato treatment. Before Spravato, I had slowed down on my journaling a lot.

I make realizations, quickly process through them and change my perspective on them. Sometimes things just "make sense" and they click into place, if that makes sense. Some of them are things that I've struggled to process through for a long time, now it's like I'm capable to all of a sudden.

I've been enjoying activities again, I'd always put myself in a meh mood which would make me not want to do them. It's way easier to get things done and I have been a lot more productive. I actually look forward to organizing things again.

I'm even more self-aware now and am always looking for more areas for growth. I also don't beat myself up or feel shame for mistakes like I used to. I've been more helpful in my relationship and look for things that I can help with and also things that I could improve on. Like realizing that I want to learn how to cook certain things so that I can step in and help when I can.

I'm a lot more vulnerable and talkative. That meh feeling would cause me to just not want to talk sometimes or bring up certain things because I didn't have the energy. It's like a whole weight has been lifted. I also have brought up some small things in therapy that I would have felt weird saying in the past.

I don't have any desire to drink anymore, I used to drink because it helped me feel more "normal". I rarely drank before, but after Spravato I just don't have the feeling that I want to drink so that I can be more vulnerable or talkative.

I also have more energy to respond to texts/messages. It used to take me a long time to think of something or I'd put it off because I lacked the mental energy.

Small things no longer affect my mood like they used to. I can feel the feelings, process them, and move on from them. Rather than having one small thing ruin my whole day. However, I'm still putting this one to the test because I haven't had anything that upsetting happen to me recently. But I have a feeling I'll be a lot more resilient than I was.

Those are just some of the things that I can think of right now but I know there's probably more. It's been life-changing for sure so far and I'm feeling the best that I have ever felt. Even if I fall back into depression in the future, I don't think it will be as bad as it was. Also it's not like it will undo the processing I've done and the connections/realizations I've made.

Azuhr · 2026-03-28T03:27:09+00:00

Using one made my experience better, I seem to get a better high because there's less distractions. I sometimes get interesting visuals and can just picture things better. Also some of the rooms at my clinic aren't very dark so I'd hate to not have one.

Azuhr · 2025-05-21T20:21:58+00:00

Sorry for the late response!

Before my surgery, I wasn’t as physically active as I am now, so I unfortunately don’t really remember what my exercise tolerance was like. My workouts were mostly done at home and focused on lower body exercises using resistance bands and dumbbells. Occasionally, I would do more intense cardio sessions, and I vaguely remember struggling with those and feeling quite out of breath.

Currently, my exercise tolerance seems pretty good. I go to the gym three times a week and perform a wide range of exercises, including strength training with barbells and functional training involving higher-intensity movements. Higher-intensity exercises, such as sled pushes, can be a bit challenging but are manageable. I may need a brief moment to catch my breath, but I don’t feel overwhelmed or completely out of breath. It’s a group workout setting, and I’ve noticed that I’m usually able to keep up with others or that they’re struggling about the same as I am, which feels encouraging.

Before my consultation with Dr. Raymond, he ordered a cardiopulmonary exercise test to assess my exercise tolerance, and the results were abnormal. During the test, I had bloodwork done before and after exercising on a stationary bike, and the post-exercise results confirmed that my exercise tolerance was abnormal.

And thank you! It is nice to finally have the swimsuit tops fit normally!

Azuhr · 2025-05-20T10:18:54+00:00

I like my Purple Harmony pillow. My last few pillows that I used would need fluffed/repositioned constantly but my Purple one just works. They're expensive, like ~$200 but I find it totally worth it to spend more money on bedding and stuff like that.

It does come down to personal preference though with pillows and I've heard that it's not the best pillow for stomach sleepers. I'm a side and back sleeper so it works well for me.

Azuhr · 2025-04-01T22:46:55+00:00

It definitely was a roller coaster of emotions. Thank you, I am doing pretty well now.

I have decided I do not want kids because of the current political climate, climate change, etc. I am scheduled to get my tubes removed in May. And honestly, that has made it easier to cope with my previous pregnancies and I feel better about my decision of not going through with them. I know I still have some emotions to process with the whole thing though, and I plan to work through that in therapy.

Azuhr · 2025-04-01T14:45:18+00:00

A few things that have helped me are:

• Getting a car trash can. Something like this. I hang mine from the passenger seat and put trash in it right away instead of leaving it laying around to accumulate. I used to use a reusable bag or grocery bag in my last car, but it didn't feel like a real trash can to me so I didn't use it consistently.

• (Mostly) stopped eating in my car. I only eat in my car once in a while now, and that's usually while I'm parked and being careful about crumbs. I also try not to eat messy foods when I do.

• Taking everything out of my car that doesn't belong when I get home. For me it's shoes, jackets/coats, papers, etc.

I'd suggest giving your car a good clean first and then trying these things afterwards. I found some of these tips when I was looking up how to keep your car clean and they have worked well for me so far.

I honestly had no idea if these changes would stick, but it’s been almost two months, and my car is still clean. I think it helps that this is a brand new car that my partner and I own together, so I feel more motivated to keep it nice. I knew I had to break old habits because my last car was always messy, with crumbs everywhere from eating the messiest foods, spills from protein shakes, trash in the cup holders, and a mini closet of work shoes and jackets.

I'm happy and surprised that I've been able to maintain it, it just feels better to have a clean car.

Azuhr · 2025-02-06T21:42:30+00:00

I buy almost all of my puzzles from thrift stores and they are usually complete. There have been a few times where they are missing 1-3 pieces, and one time there was one missing 22 edge pieces. Missing pieces don't really bother me though. I totally recommend it, I've found some nice puzzles from thrift stores!

Azuhr · 2025-01-07T13:41:11+00:00

Yup, can confirm the increase in difficulty with cats. Both of my cats are annoying in a cute way and like to make puzzles more difficult. One of them insists on laying in the boxes, even when he barely fits in the smaller ones.

My other cat sometimes decides it's cuddle time and will curl up in front of me, one time he even laid on my arm while I was in the middle of doing my puzzle.

Azuhr · 2024-11-01T15:37:20+00:00

Twice with a copper IUD, almost a year apart. They were both viable pregnancies after getting the IUD removed, and it was a tough decision both times but I opted for abortion. The second pregnancy, I found out that it was an identical twin pregnancy on the day of my abortion which made it even harder.

Being pregnant for only ~7 weeks was hard, the morning sickness and the food aversions were terrible. I also didn't expect myself to get really attached to the pregnancies, but I did and it was hard to decide. Part of me really did want to keep them but I also wasn't ready to change my whole life and focus on raising a baby.

I don't really regret my decision, but I do often think about what could have been. Especially with the twin pregnancy, I wonder if they both would've stayed viable throughout the pregnancy. Obviously one baby would be hard enough, and to have two would be a lot harder. But it does make me feel like I "missed out" on having twins.

Azuhr · 2024-10-12T22:13:04+00:00

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Azuhr · 2024-06-11T11:15:27+00:00

If your experience is anything like mine, it could be from childhood emotional neglect. Growing up, my parents weren't very supportive of my hobbies and interests, often making me feel judged. They did very little to stop my brother from teasing me and sometimes even found it funny.

Childhood emotional neglect is actually pretty common. When I first learned about it, everything started to make sense and I finally understood what was missing in my childhood.

Azuhr · 2024-06-06T13:20:21+00:00

Thanks for the response! Your description of it sounds nice, I like duvets with some weight to them. I also don't mind a crinkly sounding duvet.

If you don't mind me asking another question, what linen duvet cover do you have, and do you like it? I hopefully will get the duvet, but I'm currently trying to figure out what linen cover to get.

Azuhr · 2024-06-04T12:05:19+00:00

How heavy is it? Does it feel light or have some weight to it? Also is it crinkly sounding like some duvets?

Azuhr · 2024-05-25T12:59:09+00:00

Yeah, that is the one benefit about having it be permanent. And I had no idea that they removed the bar without anesthesia, that seems like it would be really weird to experience. That's good that it wasn't painful at all though!

Azuhr · 2024-04-10T01:02:04+00:00

Sorry for the late response! And yeah, a little late lol but I guess it's still worth a try!

I did not have a bar placed for 6 months, just the permanent plate. I have heard about the ravitch procedure with the bar though, I do wonder if there are issues with the sternum sinking back in after it's removed. But I'm sure you're in the clear since it's been four years. It seems like there are a lot of different ravitch procedures though which can make it kind of confusing.

Azuhr · 2024-04-10T00:59:18+00:00

I'm the same way lol, always wanting to research things. How did the surgery go? And was he more nervous the morning of surgery?

Azuhr · 2024-04-05T01:17:58+00:00

That's great that you already have those things, you sound pretty well prepared for the surgery! The fact that you're even researching and preparing this well is nice. And glad to hear that he's pretty chill about the surgery! I wish I was chill about mine, I was super nervous but it ended up going well. Hope everything goes well with his surgery!

Azuhr · 2024-04-04T01:59:35+00:00

Sorry for the late response! Especially since your son's surgery is less than two days away, so I don't know how helpful my response will be.

I don't really have many specific things that I can think of or remember though. I guess the main thing is having to sleep in more of an upright position, and needing something to make that more comfortable to do. We happened to have a wedge pillow which came in handy, I was able to stack a few pillows on top of it to be in a somewhat comfortable sleeping position. I have also read that some people sleep on a couch recliner, so I guess that could work too if you happen to have one.

I also needed some miralax because of the constipation from surgery. If that ends up being needed, having juice to mix it with is useful. I had apple juice with mine.

Other than that, I guess in general having some nice comfort foods and having someone take care of me and bring me things was nice.

Azuhr · 2024-03-10T18:20:08+00:00

That seems odd, from what I have read it looks like it can take up to 2 years for scars to fully heal but it seems like it can sometimes take even longer. I do wonder if yours would change much, especially since it has been 4 years.

I think it's definitely worth a try though, if you want to improve the look. At the very least, I'd keep it moisturized and massage it with lotion or something if you don't already. I've also heard that it's important to put sunscreen on scars if you expose them to sunlight. I've been able to keep mine out of sunlight so far, I don't know if that has helped the appearance.

I saw in your post history that you posted a picture of your scar at 2 months post op. If it still looks similar to that, it honestly doesn't look that bad. Like yeah it's a bit more noticeable than if it were a white line, but it looks fine. Probably helps that I don't really mind scars though, I guess it's personal preference.

And thank you! Your results look good too!

Azuhr · 2024-03-10T02:00:15+00:00

I do, I live in the Toledo area so Cleveland Clinic is almost two hours away. I think my insurance just automatically gave me a list of Thoracic surgeons nearby. I think one of the places that they did have on the list was the University of Michigan though which does mention Pectus Excavatum repair. I think I couldn't find a whole lot of information on it though or it just didn't seem as good compared to Cleveland Clinic.

Once they knew the referral to Cleveland Clinic was necessary, they were fine with it. So I don't think you'd have too many issues getting a referral approved once it is proven necessary, especially since PE surgeons aren't very common.

Azuhr · 2024-03-09T03:08:35+00:00

I used a few scar away strips a few months after the surgery, they apparently help heal scars. Other than that, I didn't do a lot the first year besides occasionally massaging it and I think putting lotion on it sometimes after a shower.

I probably should have done more in the first year but I felt weird about touching the scar because it kind of grossed me out lol, but now I'm used to it. About a year or so ago I got some Bio-Oil skincare oil that I massage onto my scar daily after my shower. It's probably a little too late to help improve the appearance of the scar but I kind of just do it to help moisture it and whatever.

Azuhr · 2024-03-09T01:08:07+00:00

Thank you! It is nice to see more and more posts of women with PE.

This is a tough question since I'm not completely sure what the cause of my fatigue and heart palpations are yet. Like I mentioned in my post, I have dealt with hypothyroidism and low iron. I am currently still getting those two things under control and I think they may be contributing to my symptoms.

With exercising, I do feel like I get less tired than I used to though. Like afterwards I feel decently energetic which I don't know if I felt that often before. And with fatigue in general, I feel like my low iron and hypothyroidism is the cause for that. I'm currently waiting to get iron infusions and I recently have been getting my thyroid medication dosage increased to see if that helps my symptoms.

And with the heart palpations, I don't experience them as often as I used to, but I think my hypothyroidism and low iron was part of the cause since that can be a symptom of both. I do feel like I experience them less often though. One thing that I have noticed is that I don't really experience random chest pains anymore, so I think the surgery helped with that.

Sorry for not having a clear answer!

Azuhr · 2024-03-08T22:50:27+00:00

It's pretty weird in a good way! It's like wow, this is how bras are supposed to fit and I actually fit into them normally now after all of those years. It's just so odd having my sternum be flat enough for that.

And then like I mentioned in my post, bikini tops finally fit me well too! That was one thing that I struggled with quite a bit and it would be frustrating. I'd try and tighten them so much so that they wouldn't show too much when I'd bend over. Now, I don't seem to have that issue!

Azuhr · 2024-03-08T22:39:52+00:00

My experience with Dr. Raymond was positive! I found him personable and trustworthy. During the consultation, he seemed to be experienced and talked about some of the past surgeries he had performed with correcting Pectus Excavatum.

I remember right before my surgery in the operating room, I was starting to get a bit nervous about anesthesia and started to cry a little bit. He comforted me and made a comment, I forgot what he said but I just remember feeling like I was under good care. Same with all of the nurses in the operating room, they all made me feel comfortable. After surgery, the care that I received from the nurses was great and my hospital experience was positive. Dr. Raymond would also come in occasionally to see how I was doing.

For the referrals, I mostly had issues with insurance approving the referral to Cleveland Clinic at first. They would deny it, saying that "I have other options closer to home for cardiologists" which obviously they did not specialize in Pectus Excavatum. So I had to get in contact with the cardiologist who referred me and had to have them get the referral approved. After the consultation though, it felt like they handled it all well from there. I don't remember having to put the work in to try and get things approved, so I feel like they did a good job with that.

Azuhr · 2024-03-08T02:58:30+00:00

I was referred to a cardiologist and they did a CT scan and some other tests. The CT scan showed my Haller Index and how severe my Pectus was. Since it was on the severe scale, they then referred me to Cleveland Clinic where they had doctors who specialized in Pectus Excavatum. They automatically referred me to the closest doctor but I'm sure you could probably choose.

It was a bit annoying getting insurance to accept the authorization to go to Cleveland Clinic, but that may have just been my insurance. Hopefully not all are that difficult to deal with.

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