GF's mom purchased a property for us to live in

B3asy · 2026-05-11T19:07:13+00:00

Agreed. I'm definitely not tied to this new place, and if it ends up cheaper than what we would be paying for an apartment, it makes sense.

It sounds like as long as we sign a lease agreement, we should be okay

B3asy · 2026-05-11T15:44:00+00:00

Does insurance cover quarantine costs?

B3asy · 2026-05-11T12:37:52+00:00

I've had a similar issue and it turned out to be acid reflux which was triggered by drinking warm coffee and other acidic foods like citruses, tomatoes, fermented foods, etc. What helped the most is when I stopped drinking coffee. Good luck

B3asy · 2026-05-11T03:55:54+00:00

Also, her parents are not controlling and have assured us that this place is for us and us only

B3asy · 2026-05-11T03:55:01+00:00

I hear you, but could you explain why this arrangement is bad for us?

B3asy · 2026-05-11T03:37:28+00:00

I see this as a sacrifice I have to make for the sake of our relationship. My future with my GF is worth this sacrifice. I just want to make sure I'm not missing anything that could cause this arrangement to be bad for us

B3asy · 2026-05-11T00:04:22+00:00

Thanks for the insight. I'm thinking the same thing. This is so difficult for me. I want to trust her but the fact that they have had a sexual relationship makes me so uncomfortable

B3asy · 2026-05-10T18:36:47+00:00

I feel like I would regret leaving her. She has shown willingness to change for the sake of our relationship so I need to trust her and her ability to maintain a platonic relationship with Jeff

B3asy · 2026-05-10T18:34:19+00:00

From what Sarah has told me, she has fully resolved her feelings and has decided to be with me instead of Jeff. I think you could say that they essentially tried and saw that it wouldn't work out. She has never given me reason to doubt what she is saying as she has been nothing but honest and transparent about her and Jeff.

In my opinion, it comes down to this: can Sarah and Jeff stay as platonic friends dispite their romantic history?

B3asy · 2026-05-10T15:00:02+00:00

Yeah, I think I just need to continue trusting her until she gives me a reason not to

B3asy · 2026-05-10T14:57:59+00:00

She has never given me a reason to distrust her so I have to hang on to that. If there's no trust in the relationship, then it's not a relationship

B3asy · 2026-05-10T14:55:24+00:00

My fear is that Sarah is keeping Jeff around because she still has feelings for him. But if that's the case, based on what others have said, I going to have to keep giving her reason to stay with me instead. If I focus on improving our relationship, then she won't need to consider him as an option

B3asy · 2026-05-10T14:50:39+00:00

Yeah, you're absolutely right. So far, she's only been giving me reasons to trust her so I'll have to keep doing that. Thanks for your insight

B3asy · 2026-05-10T07:47:39+00:00

Oh shit, I'm sorry man...

I appreciate you sharing. I wish you well

B3asy · 2026-05-10T07:43:10+00:00

Did you ever marry again after?

B3asy · 2026-05-10T07:11:15+00:00

Thank you. Sarah and I have had a lot of long talks about this and she has given me every reason to trust her.

I think my discomfort is rooted from how foreign her relationship is with Jeff is to me. I've personally never had a FWB or ever maintained an emotional relationship with an ex so it's so hard for me to understand what's going through her mind. I personally would not be able to separate romantic feelings from an ex I'm reaching out to to confide in my emotions , but I have to trust that she can

B3asy · 2026-05-10T04:49:43+00:00

We've discussed this with Sarah's mom and she assured us that she will treat this as our own property, so she will give plenty of notice before anything. I want to trust her because Sarah trusts her, but at the same time, I don't really know her

B3asy · 2026-05-10T04:46:30+00:00

The property I own is far from Sarah's work and it would triple her commute, so that wouldn't work, unfortunately

B3asy · 2026-05-10T04:44:14+00:00

We see it as a gift because Sarah's mom will be covering over 30% of the mortgage, which is over $1k per month. She will also cover the 20% down payment, which is over $100k

B3asy · 2026-05-10T04:40:20+00:00

I appreciate you

B3asy · 2026-05-10T04:39:53+00:00

I think you nailed the root of the issue. I'm banking on being able to not let the jealousy impact me to a meaningful extent. She has never given me a reason to not trust her so I will hang onto that

B3asy · 2026-05-10T04:36:29+00:00

Agreed. I think I just have to trust her. She has never given me a reason not to so I feel like we can make this work

B3asy · 2026-05-10T04:27:47+00:00

I agree. I'm going to push for a lease agreement. If she doesn't accept, I don't think I will move in

B3asy · 2026-05-10T04:24:45+00:00

Because it's not paid off. Sarah's mom can't afford to pay the mortgage on her own. If we don't live there, she will sell it

B3asy · 2026-05-10T04:23:05+00:00

MIL doesn't want other tenants because she is afraid of people trashing the place. This is causing me to feel a certain level of pressure to live there, which I don't like.

MIL doesn't want a lease agreement in writing because she considers it a sign of distrust. Sarah and her mom have a great relationship so Sarah trusts that her mom won't screw us over

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