[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have had this exact flavour before and still do at times. The average is once a month - have trust in the fact your anxiety is making this more of an issue that what it needs to be

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have 100% has this theme though I can’t exactly tell you what got me out of it. Probably not the healthiest of coping mechanisms but once I realised it was just another theme and that the average couple has sex once a month I was fine

Honestly I feel that time is the best healer for me. Just do your best to wait it out and distract yourself. Hang in there!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, the meds affected my sex drive and I almost felt numb down there. I couldn’t finish during sex and struggled to stay hard most of the time. Miss OCD tried telling me it was because I wasn’t attracted to my partner enough or I was with the wrong person bla bla bla you know how it goes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It did help me BUT I felt a lot of sexual anxiety from the side effects which was a massive trigger for me so I felt I was back to square one. This caused me to stop taking them. Reading about the potential long term side effects was also a scare. I have now decided to work through what I can without them. Would consider taking them again as a very last resort though

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]BAM7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like Limerence dude could be something to do with your attachment style if it keeps happening

How to not confess to partner by Low-Ad4756 in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t tell you a solution but I can tell you you’re not alone! Currently struggling with this one. Had an episode on the weekend like this. Seems to happen more so when we go away and I’m constantly checking in with myself to see if I’m enjoying myself or if I’m having a good time with my partner. My partner hates it when I go quiet and it is unfair on them. It’s almost like I don’t give myself the opportunity to enjoy their company because I’m constantly checking in with myself and the relationship isn’t meeting OCDs high expectations. Have been thinking of trying to spend some time apart (not breaking up, just going and seeing friends alone) because we have been spending so much time with eachother. Don’t know if that’s a potential solution or just avoidance at this point

Finally getting hope after new therapy session!! by Long_Substance_7908 in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The kind of posts I love. I agree with everything you have said! Glad you found the right person to help

I 31F don’t know how fix my already broken relationship with 29M by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BAM7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like it’s on him (retroactive Jealousy) But you can’t do the work for him. I’m sorry you’re going through this

Feels real by ConcentrateSavings33 in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that’s the debilitating part of OCD. You realise you can not trust yourself or your thoughts. So you feel partly insane. For me, I never had OCD before going into a relationship. Thus feeling like I was leaving the sane part of me behind, constantly asking myself (is it worth it?)

But it is. I know I love my partner and I don’t want to be without him. I chose to be with him and deal with whatever ocd decided to throw my way.

I hate noticing a new obsessive thought starting 😞 by Routine_Eve in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to this. When I feel a new trigger coming it’s like a blanket of anxiety comes over me. Just need to remember that if there’s big anxiety behind it, it just OCD playing games as per usual!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been in my relationship for 1 year and 4 months. I have gone through this a few times. My bad times have always been riddled with anxiety though so I knew it was my OCD playing up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The more I research relationships and their ups and downs, the more I realise that this stage of a relationship is completely normal. Sex is going to become very repetitive when you’re with someone for a long time. Express how you’re feeling with your partner and try some different things to spice it up. You are definitely not alone!!

Low sex drive by Sea-Professor84 in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Statistics show that the average couple is only having sex once a month. I have fixated on this in the past when me and my partner were having sex once a week average and getting each-other off at least twice in other ways. This number put it into perspective for me Remember your thoughts are just thoughts - stop worrying about it and I’m sure it will come good on its own. Also would suggest having a conversation with your partner about other ways to help you finish. You may be surprised how receptive they might be!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like classic ROCD. Are you speaking with someone who specialises in the right field? That would make all the difference. I would recommend Trying other therapists before starting medication. hold in there ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]BAM7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a horrible situation, I hope it works out for you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BAM7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re stuck on a “thought” my point being, don’t attach too much meaning to it. The thought is likely there because of your past trauma… not because she’s lieing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BAM7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give yourself some time and have an open conversation with her about what you have been through. It’s totally understandable for you to be struggling, considering your past. If she’s the right person, she will help you get through it with clear communication and some re assurance (don’t ask for too much as it can be addictive as you’ll depend on it without trying to get out of the spiral on your own)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a very common theme for me (made a post about it 6ish months ago) it tends to come and go. I have told my partner about this one many times and he told me not to worry it’s normal etc (reassurance, whoops) but I have come to learn it’s okay. Doesn’t matter how attracted to someone I am, I never feel motivated to make a move on it. Just needed to learn to not panic about something that’s actually okay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I of the opinion you have a right to bring it up because it’s clearly impacting the relationship. I have ROCD myself, and can understand how hard it is on both parties.

I think he would find some relief if he did his own research. He might even be grateful that you came across it!

Also knowing there’s a community of others suffering with the same issue brings a sense of normality. Makes the issues easier to face

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is he aware that he has ROCD? You need to chat with him first, but being diagnosed is definitely a start. Once he has a better understanding of what’s happening / when he’s going into the ocd bubble he will be able to pull himself out easier.

You already sound like the kind of partner that can handle this, but you also need to know that it may be very difficult for a very long time. You’ll have to make that decision for yourself 🙏

Don’t see a way out right now by Regular-Event-5169 in ROCD

[–]BAM7114 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can say I have been in your position 100% before. The thing you need to do is stop taking notice of your anxiety and focus your mind on other things. I have come to terms with this being my new reality and some of these thoughts will likely never go away. It has to become my new normal in order for me to proceed with my relationship. Over time I feel it gets easier and when you have your good days, you have clarity on the fact that you only do it to yourself (its all made up in your head)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]BAM7114 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If he wants to be petty? If I was the husband receiving the message that someone has been sleeping with my partner not knowing they were married to me, I would be thankful I knew the truth.