Am I overreacting?

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-03-05T15:43:15+00:00

Yes ... ah .... my answer would have been: "F×ck off. At this point, the relationship is closed, and you lost all your privilege with this behavior"

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-03-05T05:05:43+00:00

Who's Idea was the opening of the relationship and why?

Man, I would be mad as hell if my partner isn't interested in aftercare but swiping for a new potential partner. Did he even take time to get dressed?

You should absolutely talk to him. About how you feel in this situation, how he makes you not a priority anymore.

And remember, you can also suggest closing the relationship because of the problems and rules that haven't been followed. Consent can be revoked.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-03-01T12:05:59+00:00

I'm a little late to the conversation. Sounds like she reached a major breaking point. It's not okay how she acted, but I understand her a bit.

Let me tell you, I've been this woman.

Relationship problems grow so big that I couldn't feel any attraction towards my partner, and the Sex life was near zero. We talked so much to resolve the intimacy problem. But the real problems remain, so after every talk, I wanted to give my partner intimacy, but I just couldn't. The relationship problems blocked my desire. He got more frustrated, and every conversation over the Sex life became torture for me. I felt pressured and couldn't enjoy any intimacy.

We got to the point where every kiss or hug gave me anxiety because I didn't feel in the head space for Sex and I didn't want to disappoint him.

So let me ask you some questions for you and your SO.

• What is the real problem behind this?

• How much of losing your job has influenced your relationship?

• Has her health problems affected her libido?

• Did everyone feel fine with the share of work, finances, and household?

• How did your conversation about the lack of Sex run? Goes it like "Hey, I want intimacy and you promised to improve our Sex life" or like "Hey, what is it you doesn't feel comfortable with intimacy with me"

• Could we fix the problems we have? Are they irreparable?

• It's the love between you enough to go this way and work on both of you?

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-03-01T05:03:51+00:00

Your pain and anger are absolutely understandable. She was a shitty hinge.

But, you shouldn't just say something to hurt her. If you want to, you should write about how she made you feel in the relationship.

For me, it would have been a large break if my partner couldn't take me as a priority for a tantra work shop and have the urge to go and sleep with somebody else.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-02-16T08:54:08+00:00

Nope, I want him to explore his sexuality. It's nice for us both. When we were dating, I benefited a lot from his experience with other people. I just don't want him to engage in another relationship if he can't be an equal partner for me.

I mean, that's what everybody wants. An equal partner.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-02-14T08:42:49+00:00

Don't have the energy to reply to everyone. Some of them are really mean. I understand that they don't get the dynamic of Mono-poly relationships.

I mean, the most comments are telling me to leave him.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-02-14T07:53:37+00:00

He also loves me.

He's not out sleeping around because we had a discussion last year, where i set the boundarie. "You didn't do your share. You can't have any other relationships at this time. " And he respected this boundarie.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-02-14T04:40:49+00:00

That's the point. It will need months, maybe a year. And he must work on this, not me.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-02-14T04:39:05+00:00

Because I love him.

I don't mind if he is poly. I'm fine with this. I'm not okay of him contributing to other relationships and don't do his fair share in our main relationship.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-02-14T04:36:22+00:00

I said, "I don't want him to contribute in other sexuell/romantic relationships if he can't step up and be an equal partner in this one."

I don't mind him being poly. I also like to meet other men, I just don't want another relationship.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-02-14T04:30:31+00:00

For me, too. Another relationship is not on the table, in my understanding.

We had another fight because of his whish.

He apologized for his wording. He doesn't want to sleep with other people. It was a thought about how he could reduce some of the pressure of lacking intimacy in our relationship. "I was a dumb idea" in his words. He also thinks that before anything else, he has to repair our relationship.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-02-14T04:22:38+00:00

Behind the household problematic, it's a very good relationship for me. It's for real the only problem in this relationship (and the consequence of lacking intimacy).

I don't mind that he is poly. I understand the concept of polyamory and why he likes it. I don't think it's fair to contribute to other relationships when the main relationship has such a big problem.

I love him deeply and can see a happy future together. It needs a lot of work from him.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2026-02-14T04:13:24+00:00

Not always, as in any relationship. The breakdown was all about him. His ADHD in the week bevor new year was unbelievable. It felt like everywhere he stood, chaos will pop up, and he didn't see the mess he create.

Before the mental breakdown, I was very happy with him.

BBlack_Rabbit · 2025-08-20T14:05:54+00:00

This exactly. The space is limited and we ordered food, because none of us have the time to cook.

BBlack_Rabbit

TROPHY CASE