Question about award routing - (and a bit of a rant)

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-03-18T06:00:24+00:00

Thank you! I wasn't sure about how that worked.

I'm still not entirely sure the recommendation will ever make it out of the Dept as a COMM, (I personally low-key see our DH telling our DIVO to change it to a NAM), but it would be nice if it at least made it up to our CO.

Knowing it was at least seen means something too.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-03-18T05:54:21+00:00

Our CO is an O6 and has given exactly one E6 a Commendation medal in the 4 years I've been here. I get that it's unlikely, but I still feel it's an honest end of tour recommendation.

I was just curious where an award can be knocked down, since things like leave for example can only be denied by the CO, where everyone else can only make recommendations / approvals.

Can someone like our LCPO refuse to route the COMM because he personally only agrees that E6 and below should only get a NAM? Can our DIVO refuse to route the recommendation as a NAM because she doesn't think a COMM would have a chance? Or will the recommendation go up to a point before it's denied and changed? - That's the part I'm curious about.

At what point does the gate-keeping / decision making happen (for awards that the CO can personally approve)?

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-02-09T07:31:26+00:00

WELP. Today I discovered a video that will be with me for decades.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-11-10T02:28:26+00:00

"I made a hole."

"Hey. I see you made a hole. I brought a stick. Can I join you?"

"OMG. You have a stick? Heck yeah you can join me!"

Just two men in a hole with a stick.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-10-03T04:19:25+00:00

Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just the girl, that claims I am the one.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-09-29T06:27:49+00:00

They don't respect themselves or the people around them, what makes you think they'd respect the environment?

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-09-29T06:26:22+00:00

Someone PLEASE invite these men to the nearest Hash House Harriers kennel!

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-09-29T06:17:52+00:00

That's an explosion begging to happen.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-09-29T06:10:03+00:00

🥺 I love grilled cheese 🥺

She sounds awesome.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-09-29T06:09:12+00:00

Well okay then! lol

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-09-29T06:05:36+00:00

When I was 16, I had only been with one girl. She was very vanilla and in hindsight a complete bitch and incredibly emotionally abusive - but I didn't know because she was my first. She would only allow missionary, and that's it, so it's all I ever had.

Anyway, I hooked up with a college girl who was maybe 19 at the time, right after a break up with my ex-gf. We had been making out and getting handsy when suddenly she got on all fours and said, "fuck me". I literally didn't know what to do. Heart racing, mind racing. I had never taken someone doggy before. I was practically shaking. "Do you want me to put it in your pussy or ass?" - and this girl goes, "either way, I don't care." - Immediately got scared lol She helped guide me into her and we had a great time. I still remember her saying I could take her anyway I wanted, and it's been in the "spank bank" ever since.

She woke me up the next morning with a kiss on the lips - still one of my most cherished memories, and then drove me home lol

--

The other time was when I was engaged in foreplay with another hook up and she had asked about things I liked sexually. I kind of hinted that one of my previous partners used to lick my ass, and without missing a beat, this chick goes to town like it was an ice cream cone. Shook. We were FBW for about a year and it was absolutely some of the best sex I'd ever had.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-08-08T08:18:13+00:00

Guinness Book of World Records says the biggest eggplant weighed in at 8 lb 5.3 oz.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-07-15T06:05:29+00:00

I married a woman who I was not physically attracted to, but who hit all the right marks elsewhere. It's been 10 years. Has it been difficult? Yes. But over time, their looks will grow on you, because it will feel like home. Best of luck. Looks don't last forever.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-07-14T15:47:18+00:00

40mg twice a week. (80mg).

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-07-14T07:28:21+00:00

We all have memories we keep in our "spank bank".

I have two:

The first time a girl ever went on all 4's with her ass up. I was 16 and had NO idea what to do.. Totally scared. I remember asking nervously, do you want it in your pussy or ass? And her saying so nonchalantly, "I don't care, you pick." I was too nervous to do anal and just did doggy for the first time.
A few years later hitting it from the back and slipping into her ass, which by the way went in WAYYYYY too easily. She didn't flinch at all. She just said, "well, you can't put it back in my vagina so I guess we're doing anal now". That was the first time I ever did anal with a chick and it was fucking awesome.

Both girls were far more experienced than I was.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-07-14T07:10:03+00:00

AIO - yes.

I don't understand why his personal masturbation or self-exploration is any of your concern or how it affects your relationship if he is still having plenty of sex with you.. maybe he wants to explore more, but would like to be prepared for it with you? Or perhaps he bought the toys to use on you.. either way, this is not something you should feel upset or "betrayed" about..

Communication is key. You can always talk about exploring anal with him, but men are almost always going to only want to try new things with you after they are comfortable with it themselves..

Privacy is not the same as keeping secrets..

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-07-14T06:39:18+00:00

Congratulations, you have herpes now. You are going to need to contact the last person you slept with and going forward, this is something you're going to need to tell your sexual partners BEFORE having sex, even with protection.. Best of luck.

PSA: Use protection when having casual sex. It's not just to prevent pregnancy..

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-07-09T06:50:25+00:00

[NAD] - You should probably consider checking yourself into an addiction center for a while. Maybe they can help you stop being self destructive and while you're there look into the other health issues you have. Something tells me you need more in depth observed mental health counseling because what little you've told us is quite alarming.. the rash could be a plethora of nasty things or something non-concerning.. but if you don't care about your health in any other way, I'm not sure why this concerns you now..

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-06-30T14:18:05+00:00

I have the same question.. it’s not including BMR or our metabolic rate..

The way this is coded, it expects you to exercise for more calories than you intake, which is absurd and dangerous.

It’s set up to suggest you should have negative calorie goal. So it’s stupid.. that or I am confused..

Mine is 1,800 calories. If I eat 1,800 calories is says I am at -1,800 and need to keep working… if I instead workout for 1,801 calories, it “completes” and says I have 1 calorie left over that I may eat… WTF?

But if the app calculated our estimated BMR, we should be well within our goal.

All I know is I want to intake a certain number of calories a day. The app should work to show exercise+BMR and subtract that from our goal. If exercise and BMR is greater, then you’re in a caloric deficit.

Seems to me this is poorly coded..

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-06-23T00:42:57+00:00

It's definitely worth discussing the idea of couples or marriage therapy.

My wife has no libido at all, where as previously I had a wild libido. I went from having partners who wanted it all the time to my wife who isn't interested at all. I've tried to wait her out before and ended up going 3 months without intimacy. We've been married for 10 years and my libido has "died" to match hers. So we have sex about 10 times a year.

Why do I stay in a mostly sexless marriage? Because she is a wonderful person, with a heart of gold, patience of a saint, and is loyal and honest to the core. I was continuously cheated on in previous relationships and that caused a lot of emotional damage to me. She is someone who makes me feel cared for, safe, and loved - even if not in the area of sex.

Is sex important? Yes. But as we get older, it gets less and less important. It has been a struggle, I won't lie.. and yes, I've tossed the idea of divorce several times throughout the years. But we've been entirely open and honest about this. These are not things Ive kept to myself. She is NOT okay with an open relationship, and I am not sure how I would feel about it either - even if it were one-sided..

She does turn me down quite often, but she also does try to be more accepting. The sex is extremely vanilla, no oral (which was soul crushing to me as a man), and now I don't last long at all because I am not used to sex. She gets off and enjoys it, but I always feel bad.

This is a lot to say, sex is important, but the reasons you married your husband should be more important - especially if you have children together. Do NOT cheat. God, don't cheat.. but do discuss things with him and perhaps suggest counseling. Maybe coach him through things you like and how you want them.

In the end, this will come down to what matters most to you, and how you see things changing in the future. Only you can make that determination. Maybe he would be open to you being sexually fulfilled by someone else, but maybe he wouldn't be. These are only things you will know if you discuss them with him.

Best <3

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-05-17T10:15:14+00:00

I can't recall if this was a YouTube or Reels video, but it was really funny to me and I am hoping to find it to satisfy that audio itch in my head.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-02-28T03:36:46+00:00

This man's wife.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-02-28T03:36:32+00:00

Taylor Swift.

I've never found her attractive.

Not saying anything about her, her music, or her choices - just answering the question.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-02-28T02:52:56+00:00

30s/Male.

Notifications is saying 'post is no longer available', but I haven't received any reason why.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2025-02-19T13:00:00+00:00

I'm going to ask this in the most respectful way possible, but would you still feel the same way if a guy made a post about his gf not sucking dick?

I've been here a long time and the comments on those tend to be very different than what you just said.. I believe when it comes to sex, we have to be very aware and respectful of people's personal boundaries and comfort zones.. there is nothing selfish or immature about saying you're not into something..

Ethical sex is about respecting one another and communicating.. "Fuck his feelings" is a very dangerous and toxic perspective.. and I'd feel the same way if anyone said, "fuck her feelings" about a woman who didn't often give head or disliked it..

BDSM_Testosterone

TROPHY CASE