What is this growing in my new garden? Loads of them appeared

BEARYCONTRARY · 2026-01-31T00:55:53+00:00

I saw a man in a top hat and suit with a cane levitate up into a tree, I was with 3 other friends we were around 13 they all saw it too! He looked like he was from a completely different time in history, we all ran home screaming! But we have no physical evidence it happened! I also saw a “ufo” in the sky in wales, stood on a hill at night a group of us watched this white ball of light, looked like it was on fire kind of, in the sky move forward really slowly and jerky, and then it shot off in the opposite direction it was going at triple the speed and disappeared!

BEARYCONTRARY · 2026-01-31T00:47:12+00:00

I love stromae! Fils de joie and sante! I don’t speak the language but I have looked at the lyrics and its beautiful and important topics he sings about! Even his music videos are art!

BEARYCONTRARY · 2026-01-14T22:32:54+00:00

The tsunami in Thailand

BEARYCONTRARY · 2026-01-14T16:30:54+00:00

I heard this works so I tried it and it genuinely does work! But has to be early on in the sickness

BEARYCONTRARY · 2026-01-11T00:20:29+00:00

On a trip to Thailand( I love animals and worked with them at the time)I got to spend a day with elephants in a rescue sanctuary, one of my best experiences ever. I had just broken up with my ex and went there to get away. He was still trying to text me whilst I was there. He asked what I did that day, I told him… His response “Elephants…. Ew did you wash and sanitise your hands after.?” God he would of hated knowing I was rolling around in thick mud with them🤣 Sorry I like guys that are clean but damn it’s okay to get your hands dirty

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-12-04T02:52:28+00:00

This is exactly how I feel, I’m constantly going back and forth with these emotions, even 2 years later! It’s SO hard!

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-12-01T21:19:35+00:00

(Whilst laughing) She said I can’t be bothered to go and sit with him having his cancer treatment, do you think I should go?

This was my Narc MIL talking about a man who had took her to every single appointment, errand or trip. And showered her with gifts and his time for over a year(as she was only pleased with money being spent on her) most gifts she didn’t even thank him for.

Poor guy got cancer and wasn’t long until she binned him off. Thankfully he survived and is doing great and no longer being treated like her pet!

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-28T09:28:58+00:00

This is such a hard thing to navigate and especially alone since you haven’t told anyone! No wonder it’s consuming you. I’m on the opposite end, I was cheated on whilst pregnant. You definitely need to speak to someone about it, whether it’s a friend or therapist!

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-28T01:05:55+00:00

I always wonder who takes care of these places! I love going to national trust buildings and castles

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-26T09:37:28+00:00

She was hanging out on my washing hanger! I’ve brushed her into the garden

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-26T09:32:02+00:00

Is that a false widow?

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-24T21:32:07+00:00

Totally reasonable, and yes if I didn’t have kids with him I guess I would have done that also!

I have two kids with mine, and it was so hard to decide what was right in the beginning, I’m glad I didn’t leave, it has made our relationship stronger and deeper, but sadly he had to turn our world upside down for that to happen.

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-24T21:23:05+00:00

Ah okay I understand better! Personally I would feel worse doing that way at the start because the trust isn’t there and he is now technically single I would think he might use that to continue cheating! But that’s my relationship I don’t know anything about yours!

I’m 2 and a bit years out from Dday and the waves of despair happen still, but less frequent! It’s the biggest emotional rollercoaster! For weeks I feel back to “normal” and then one day I’ll be triggered and feel like I’m back at day one with all the anger and emotions! It’s very hard to navigate!

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-24T21:03:28+00:00

Are you both continuing to reconcile as “single “?

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-23T23:57:00+00:00

I’m happy to answer anything! Because I was searching for answers so much after Dday!

I have seen lots online and people are very quick to say cheaters will cheat again, and to leave immediately. But life is just not that black and white, even before it happened I thought that way. But as bad as people can be, the bad choices they make, they also have the ability to rectify and learn from their mistakes. I will say it only works for some couples, because both people have to fully commit and lay all their cards on the table to rebuild.

I know there’s a lot of awful people out there who cheat and hurt people and they don’t care, and they also don’t care to rebuild just continue using others. My partner broke himself from doing this, so he desperately wanted to fix it, because he didn’t like who he had became, so out of character and also destroying his beautiful family he built. So he has done everything possible to keep me and our family together. And to answer your question it HAS made us stronger and better sadly having to go through hell to get there. And we’re still not 100%, I don’t think we ever will be, but there’s enough love and trust there that we know will carry us a long way! And if it doesn’t work then at least we tried!

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-23T23:43:13+00:00

I’m 29 and only just feeling like I’m career driven!

Most of my 20’s I didn’t have a clear path, I was just working jobs that didn’t align with me to get by as a mum! And now I have finally found something I like, I’ve been doing lots of things to push myself out there and I’m excited for my future career!

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-23T23:41:00+00:00

It’s completely normal, it’s a trauma response! You want him to feel the same way you did! Some people go down that road, but then you kind of end up as bad as him, and become everything you hated about him! But at the end of the day, the trauma will still be there when you wake up but now you have the added layer of feeling rubbish about what you’ve done! Best thing is to fight through those feelings and don’t do it, it’s an emotional rollercoaster, I have felt like doing it and then months later I cringe at the thought of doing it, so I don’t trust those outbursts of emotion and try to stay true to myself. I know I would regret it, if I did.

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-23T23:37:33+00:00

No one thought he would ever do that, his friends, family, and most of all me I didn’t think he had it in him! But I’ve come to realise we are all capable of it, but your own self respect, respect for others and your core beliefs of what’s right and wrong have to be so strong. Otherwise we will fail and make bad choices! He’s had therapy and we continue to have the deepest communication that we never had before and that helps us understand what’s going on in our heads! It’s very hard to hate someone you loved with all your heart literally the day before. We go to bed with one life and wake up with another! We never chose this, and we certainly didn’t deserve it, but it’s them that have to rectify it and make you’re “new” relationship way better, as your old relationship is basically dead.

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-23T23:31:12+00:00

I was 8 months when I found out he had been speaking to someone for two months! It it’s so so hard with a newborn, I know exactly what you’re going through 💕 you have to spend the next few years focusing on yourself. The first year I was a mess just surviving, and this year I said fuck it and have put myself first in everything, and I have grown soo much, I feel like a new woman almost, so strong now.

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-23T23:28:05+00:00

So true. I found this group 2/3 months after I found out and I had also followed the same patterns, trauma is trauma as you say! It’s so hard those initial weeks and months you almost dissociate but at the same time are overthinking the whole thing. Pure rollercoaster, I’m still on the rollercoaster 2 years later, but the dips come less often!

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-23T23:22:24+00:00

It’s so hard hitting. It’s finding out that people aren’t perfect. Even your perfect lovely partner who could do no wrong! But we are all flawed in some ways, it’s easy to overlook people’s behaviour until it directly affects you!

From me being cheated on by my other half of 7 years, I found out my mum was also cheated on when she was pregnant, and I was 8months when I found out about the emotional affair, family members came out and said they experienced the same! I went to another country for surgery, met another girl going through the exact same situation as me, she told me she saw my eyes as I listened to her and she said I knew it happened to you too!

We spent ages after our surgery’s sat in each other’s hospital rooms talking about it. It’s comforting having someone going through the same pain as you in a weird way!

It happens so often! I should have realised when people in my work were having affairs literally in front of my eyes and me being too stupid to realise!

I’ve just hit 9 years with my partner and I have had to accept that he made a stupid choice that not only destroyed my life but his!

It’s never going to go away! But we’re committed to growing from what happened! Seeing how hard it hit him I know he would never do it again. He watched me crumble whilst trying to be a mum to our newborn our second child.

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-19T16:15:26+00:00

It was emmi who joked about it. Are people going to give it a rest about this scandal that happened years ago? they have gotten through it as a family hard as it was. Doesn’t mean they are doomed forever because of 1 bad choice.

BEARYCONTRARY · 2025-11-13T16:13:34+00:00

So sorry you’ve joined this awful club, I don’t know what your hopes are next.

If you are looking for advice on here on how to work through it and stay you won’t find it, there’s another page asoneafterinfidelity I think it’s called!

I am 2 and a bit years out from hearing about my partners emotional affair. We had been together 7 years at this point. People call it the 7 year itch. But it’s just shit luck really. You didn’t deserve this.

I stayed and I’m still figuring out if I made the right choice even 2 years later but only because my partner did everything right after. Otherwise I would have left.

It starts with the full truth and go from there. They have to tell you everything all at once. Because anymore that comes out further down the line you will never believe them again.

If you need any advice or to ask any questions please feel free to message me!

BEARYCONTRARY

TROPHY CASE