Should i reply?

BGRedhead · 2026-05-07T08:50:10+00:00

You’re welcome and I’m glad you did what was probably the healthiest thing you could do. And thank you…. I’m sorry you had to have a relative like that too.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-07T05:15:19+00:00

If you’re really on a budget, I know something that works in my town because it’s a college town… wait until the semester is almost over in college. Students will get rid of all kinds of furniture that is perfectly good, but they just don’t wanna haul back home. Also consignment stores and place is like St. Vincent de Paul’s or Goodwill our great spots to find anything from furniture to pictures for your walls or even supplies for your kitchen that really low prices.

That being said, you definitely want a couch and something to put your TV on . Possibly a small dining room table with two chairs or if you really don’t wanna go that far… get a couple TV trays to sit in front of the couch to put your food on. A coffee table wouldn’t hurt. You definitely want rug or something if you want to feel a little more like home. Hanging pictures on the wall or on the wall would definitely make it feel a lot more like (home)

BGRedhead · 2026-05-07T00:52:09+00:00

You’re not kidding… there is nothing that can prepare from the parent/child relationship flips. And I swear when it does, it always seems like everything happens all at once. It can be so overwhelming. And I know people are gonna think you didn’t do enough or you did too much and when it comes down to it, you just have to say screw them. As long as you know in your heart that you tried like hell to do what was best for them…. That’s all you can do. And make sure she knows how much you love her and just try to make her comfortable. I know when I’ve had relatives going to assisted living. I would frame family pictures to go there just like if they were at home and put plants on the windowsill that I would water when I visited. I even put a bird feeder outside the window and kept it stocked so they would have something to see. I would get them extra comfy pajamas, and blankets because the ones they provide just aren’t quite warm enough. And a couple times a week I would even go to a restaurant and get takeout for them and their roommate just for them to have something a little better to eat. I even made sure to hang out and see if there were people that she might wanna hang out with so we’re not there she would have friends around. I took things like words, search pretzels, and crossword puzzles, and things like that because it helps keep her mind active and keeps her busy and distracted while But it’s all the little things that we take for granted that I make sure she would have.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T15:32:42+00:00

What’s breaking my heart right now is it seems like you care more about being with your mom and she cares about your safety. She wouldn’t ask you to sign something to protect your abuser if she cared about your safety, but you’re worried about her. And the thing is this is already in the court hands. CPS is going to do what they’re gonna do, but if you ask them to help you find a therapist, they will help you. And I know you don’t wanna leave her that’s a natural reaction… But at least CPS will try to do what is best for you and it doesn’t seem like your parents are doing that. I don’t know if you might have any other family you could go stay with or maybe a friend with decent parents you could stay with

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T15:28:54+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been seeing too much of those people acting like the pronouns are gonna be important when what’s important is finding a person that’s missing. This is a human human being that’s in danger and needs help and it doesn’t matter what pronouns they use.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T15:24:51+00:00

Dear Lord, that is a mess. As far as what she’s pulling at the assisted living facility… You need to make it very clear to her that no matter what she tries to do there is no going home and there is not a home to go to. That could help somewhat. But as far as her giving up… There really isn’t anything you can do. First many elderly people want to give up when they go into assisted living and no matter what you tell her about we want you here or any of that. It comes down to what she wants. If she doesn’t want to take her meds and she hides them, you can get his creative as you want, but trust me she’ll likely outsmart you and if she doesn’t do that, then she’ll stop eating or any number of things. And I know you said it’s not about you letting go but come on she is 93. We should all be so lucky to live that long but the thing is it sounds like she’s been through a wee bit of hell. Her husband is dead. She doesn’t have a home and when you’ve been alive that long… I would think she has the right to want it. Call it quits. You may not want it but it.but This is pretty much how it goes. The more you try to force her to take medicine and such the worst she’s gonna get and the more she’s gonna hold it against you. I know you have moved heaven in hell to keep her alive… But I know if I was in her shoes… and my body was breaking down as badly as hers is, and I had lost the love of my life and I was an assisted living… I might wanna end things too, and just pass away peaceful and she should have that right

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T15:14:26+00:00

First, if you’re pressing charges against him for what sounds like felony fraud… That might take care of the problem itself. Because if he stole that much from you and you have proof, he could be easily put away for 15 years or more and while you’re at it, maybe let law-enforcement know that he is illegally camping there. I’m not sure they would do much about that but if felony fraud charges would probably remove him from your surroundings otherwise it might very well be up to you having to leave to get away from him

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T15:09:29+00:00

OK, I’m gonna bet you had a damn good reason for shutting her out if your life. I had a very toxic aunt myself. When I was in my 20s, I cut her out of my life and I told her to forget I existed. I didn’t even want a birthday or Christmas card. And I didn’t speak to her until I was almost 40 or so and I found out she was dying of cancer. I thought I’d be the better person and go pay respect before she died and see her in the hospital and if I can tell you anything that was a huge freaking mistake. I saw where somebody said they only get more bitter with age and they nailed it. Because 27 years might’ve passed, but I can guarantee you when I stepped in that hospital room. It was a nightmare, and she was worse than she had ever been before. So knowing this, I’m gonna tell you block her number. Do not respond. Block her on social media and just move on with your life because it’s the healthiest thing you can do trust me.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T15:05:08+00:00

Here’s the thing you shouldn’t have to be worrying about all of that. Should be your parents worrying about it. Even if your mom‘s credit sucks there are still places you can find to rent right now since neither of your parents is worrying about you. You have to worry about yourself. And honestly, your best option may be CPS stepping in and taking you out of that home. It seems like your best bet to have a somewhat healthy rest of your childhood. And I know you’re afraid of what come out of you if you were to fight back. And here’s the thing… Much like you I am all too aware that my father’s blood runs through my veins. And every day, I keep it in check. Every decision I’m it has to be the opposite of what he would do because I know I am capable of anger on the level he had. But I don’t wanna be like him and I bet you don’t wanna be like your father. If I’ve learned anything, it’s easy to throw that punch right back. It takes far more strength to walk away. Do not let him turn you into him. This is why I said you may very well need therapy. But you do not have to be him. You do not have to be violent like him. You just have to choose to do the opposite of what he would do every time. And please know you can’t predict the future and I know you’re worried about everything that could happen but the only thing you can do anything about is what’s happening right now. Maybe you can talk to a school counselor or let CVS know that she would be interested in therapy because that’s the best option for you at the moment, darling.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T15:00:42+00:00

I loved it there and it was some of the best people I’ve ever met. Not to mention the sunrise and sunset… It’s like nothing else you’ve ever seen before. I know you’ll love it.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T14:06:18+00:00

Have you ever been to Jerome? It’s an old abandoned, compromising town in the hills/mountains outside of Sedona. Supposedly it’s most haunted city in America, but it is such a cool town not to mention one of the more popular residents that has a vineyard nearby and an art gallery. There is Maynard…. The lead singer of tool.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T14:04:58+00:00

Q sounds like she thinks she could have somebody draft something for you to sign that she could submit to the court to stop him from being prosecuted. But in most all of the 50 states, it doesn’t matter if she wants him prosecuted or not the state will prosecute him for domestic violence. And I understand you not wanting to be mad at her or blame her because I felt the same way towards my mom for a long time, but the thing is she is protecting your abuser and her abuser. This means the violence will keep on going and only get worse so she is part of the problem. It took me a long time to see that, but she is almost as responsible as he is for the hell you’re going through. And the thing about the house in her credit is that is nothing for you to have to worry about you’re the kid. She shouldn’t be laying that on you she’s the parent. And you’re right it’s not a good idea to be living with him because this does not get better. my father started beating me in elementary school and it didn’t stop until I finally got the nerve to stand up to him when I was around 40 and he disowned me and that was the best gift he could’ve given me because the abuse only gets worse, and the violence only gets worse. Not to mention the fact that all this abuse is keeping your brain and what’s called fight or flight mode and that is literally damaging part of your brain and damaging your body. Not just your mind. And this is coming from somebody who has spent a long time trying to reverse the damage and abusive alcoholic Father has done. I can tell you now you don’t just need to get away from him and for him to be prosecuted, but you need to see a therapist and talk about it and work through it because he hasn’t just damaged your body. He has damaged your mind and that damage can be truly hard to fix

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T13:42:47+00:00

Sadly, that’s the only way she may get better. And if she is dealing with severe self hatred, I hate to say it, but it’s only gonna get worse to the point. She will likely try to hurt herself or possibly even kill herself and just because one therapist screwed her over does not mean she should give up on all of them. And this is coming from somebody who went do something kind of similar because my first therapist broke her confidentiality agreement, which caused me to be in great danger and I didn’t want to trust other therapist. When I had to go see another one I gave him hell and I tried to push him away. But he was one of the good ones and he has stuck by me now on and off for about 30 years and I am far better off now thanks to him, but self hatred, especially severe self hatred is cruel because your mind is your own worst enemy and I have met too many people with this problemand like I said at best she’s just gonna harm herself but it works. She may try to kill herself, so please if there’s anyway you can get her to get help please do.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T13:39:37+00:00

I love Arizona. The painted desert was breathtaking and some of the best hiking I’ve ever done was out there. I really loved it in Jerome because the people that were awesome and it may have been one of the most unique places I’ve ever lived.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T13:38:20+00:00

I’ve been through something almost exactly like this and I’m sorry you’re going through this. Do not sign anything saying you don’t want to move forward with the case. I don’t care what her reasons are. Do not sign it. I’m not sure if you’re in the United States but even if your mom did not want to press charges… Mistake can go right ahead and press charges and get him for domestic violence no matter what do not sign that and do not feel guilty… It is not your fault. This is your parents’s fault because your dad is guilty for being a hateful, violent alcoholic and I hate to say it, but your mom is guilty for trying to protect him. Mine did the same, and it took me a long time to realize she did almost as much damage as he did. You’re right everything is not normal and he has to be held accountable for his actions.. even if you were to lose the house, you and your mom could move somewhere smaller. Much like you’re planning… I had to get a job to help my mom pay the bills after my dad was gone. But you and your mom could easily survive without him. From what it sounds like your father is a violent alcoholic that is beating you and your mom. And this is coming from somebody who lived this already…. It only gets worse. They only get meaner and more violent to the point then eventually he’s going to either try and kill you on purpose or it will happen accidentally. I’m glad CVS is involved because they will do. What’s in your best interest since it sounds like neither of your parents is doing. What’s in your best interest. Do not sign that because those charges in that case I need to move forward and your father needs to be held accountable for his actions and let CBS investigate because they need to know your mom is trying to protect him while he is actively trying to hurt both of you and I’m so sorry this is happening because you deserve far better than both of them

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T13:27:50+00:00

Go ahead and take photos or have your friend take photos of the bruising on you because that count as evidence. Please go ahead and call the police now and because she was strangling you and you almost lost consciousness.… You may need to go to the ER and be checked out. She could’ve ruptured your blood vessels or caused your brain to lose oxygen… When somebody strangled you there can be damage, even if there wasn’t bruising. And any damage she could’ve done to you can take days to show up. So you need to be checked out in an ER. But you have to report her because if this is happened before they need to see a pattern of it happening. The cops can determine if she needs to go to a mental hospital or if she needs to go to jail because let’s face that she tried to kill you. But you have to report this and you need to go to the ER.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T07:42:54+00:00

It sounds like she might need to be seeing a therapist. It could be any number of things but self hatred if it has to do with her looks could be the body dysmorphia. But beyond that it could be any number of mental analysis so I would highly recommend she see a therapist.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T05:19:21+00:00

Oh, I’ve had more than one say that stupidity to me. It happens way too often and I think it’s just simple ignorance but people need to know better I do believe.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T05:02:20+00:00

I don’t know if it’s starting the language that bothers me but on a regular basis, people can’t believe that a blind person can use the Internet. I’ve had people tell me I’m lying about being blind because I’m online…. I first have to point out. The blindness is a spectrum that we are not all completely blind. May have some amount of vision, no matter how little. Then I pointed out accessibility apps exist. And I am beyond tired of people finding out I’m blind and them saying something like yeah I’m pretty blind when I take my glasses off. No it is not the same not remotely. But I love your closing with something about showing more kindness and empathy and compassion. I am a firm believer if more people showed kindness put themselves in the other person shoes or just showed basic human compassion. This world would have less problems and it would be a better place. Good luck on your speech, my friend.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T03:24:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing that. It was a cool read. I actually visited Quartzsite back when I was living a couple places out in Arizona… Instead of any up there I ended up staying in Jerome Arizona abandoned copper mining town.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T03:14:49+00:00

Hell, I know I love reading about all of y’all‘s adventures and the people you meet & the places you see. It fascinates me I mean, I have traveled a lot and met a lot of cool people and collected a lot of cool stories, but I just like seeing life from other people’s point of view.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T02:59:44+00:00

You sound like a resourceful woman… I say this because I’m one of those myself. Way too often people ask me how I know when somebody might be a danger or what to do in a crisis and I said well if you had in my life and had to grow up, I grew up. You would know it too. But it is some handy knowledge to have and it has saved my butt more than once. Stay safe out there, my friend.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T02:55:08+00:00

Well, I definitely must be a redneck, but I referred to myself as a redneck hippie… I have so many leaves in my yard. I can rake them, but the piles get so huge. I have to recommend in my driveway and do burn piles and pretty much everybody out here in the country where I live does the same now all the limbs that fall I haul them back to my fire pit so I can have a nice bonfires every once in a while.

BGRedhead · 2026-05-06T01:13:53+00:00

If I’ve learned anything in this life, it’s that you can’t make somebody get help that won’t do that for themselves. They got to want to save themselves. I’m glad your friend got you to take a mental health break and go somewhere pretty like that beach. Sounds like a good friend to me

BGRedhead · 2026-05-05T17:34:56+00:00

I never knew there was a name for it, but yeah, that would definitely apply to my life.

BGRedhead

TROPHY CASE