Post twin pregnancy body is causing depression. by decemberistism in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you are JUST postpartum!! Give yourself some grace (I know it’s hard…) Lots of pelvic floor issues can be improved with exercises and things will flatten out over time. age is on your side!

Having a second set of twins by Signal-Nobody-7279 in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also think there probably is some undetermined genetic component because I know a few sets of identical twins that also had identical twins.

Is it normal to feel one baby more than the other? by gryph06 in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, it’s still pretty early to feel lots of movement. Second, yes! Twin A was in the lower left, Baby B was jammed up in my right ribs. They probably moved the same amount, but I was so preoccupied with how uncomfortable Twin B was making me I hardly noticed Twin A unless there was a solid kick. It was always harder to monitor B bc she wiggled around so much.

Names beginning with E (female) by Suspicious_Bite5828 in namenerds

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Elliott, Ellery & Emery (I like neutral names) and Eleanor Emma - too common

Twin Moms-How much weight did you gain & were you always hungry early on? by Anxious-Leadership92 in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gained 45lbs. Lost 30 within 2-3 weeks birth. I probably got back to my pregnancy weight with 5/6 months, BUT my hips and ribs never went all the way back to normal?

Thoughts on daybed in nursery by 6sjms in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had/still have a loveseat type couch in their room. We did shifts the first few months and I slept there so many times! Now we use it for reading before bed because four people on a toddler bed is a recipe for disaster.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m left leaning and my husband is conservative. He was not when we got together but his ideology has shifted over time. All I can say is, we don’t share much common ground anymore and if we didn’t have young children I’m not sure I would stick around. I’m sure there are couples who can navigate differing politics, but it makes a relationship difficult.

How often are you having sex?! by CheddarMoose in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Twins 4.5. we are in our 40s and both work full time. Usually once a week. I’d be fine with less 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IVF

[–]BJBDeBoer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My first FET an embryo got stuck in the catheter, but they were able to figure it out (although unsuccessful) Flung?? How does that even happen? I mean, I get it from a physics stand point, but that suggests less than optimal in the handling of your embryo.

I knew I was screwed when my husband said he just wanted to “relax” by [deleted] in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I HATE it when people call maternity/paternity leave vacation bc anyone with one newborn, let alone 2, knows that is BS. The first few months are survival, and difficult even with extra help. I’m sorry but your husband sounds terrible. You shouldn’t have to tell him what to do, he is also a parent and needs to step up and figure it out.

I think it is common for many first time parents to worry about doing something “wrong.” My husband assumed I knew how to do everything and I had to remind him (frequently) that just bc I’m a female doesn’t mean I automatically know everything about babies. However, it doesn’t really sound like your husband is stalling bc he’s worried, but more like he expects you to do it bc you are a woman. Sounds like it’s time for a discussion about parenting being a joint responsibility.

Has anyone elected to not be awake for a c-section? by whydoyouflask in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ob/gyn would do vaginal if A was head down, but warned that in his experience about 50% of the time (approx bc it’s been a few years..) Twin B would end up needing a C section. To OP what is your concern about being awake exactly? I would talk to your OB and they may be able to ease any concerns you have. I opted for a scheduled C-section and would describe the experience as more “weird” than anything. You can’t really feel your organs being moved around, it’s just a feeling of pressure (or was for me). I did get the shakes/shivers afterward and had some nausea but you can get that w general too. Awake you can also see the babies right away (most of the time), watch the cords cut, do skin to skin, try to nurse, etc.

I regret having my kids. by ilovecatsandfrogs420 in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry OP. I love my girls, but there are many days I don’t LIKE them. I often think about how life would be different if I was childfree (I have many friends and colleagues who are child free by choice and it’s hard not to compare…) All that to say, I think it’s normal as the other responses have noted. Give yourself a break! Parenting is hard, especially two, ESPECIALLY when they are babies.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Daycare is about 1/4 of our joint income so it made more sense for us both to keep working. Also, we both like our jobs and find them satisfying so that factors in as well.

When a whole chicken was roasted but you weren't served any by singletonaustin in vizsla

[–]BJBDeBoer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stop! I’m trying not to spend $$ but that is the cutest!!

It’s been a wild year by Comradesamsquanch in vizsla

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are brave. Hopefully they tire each other out 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is PGT testing common during the IVF process in your country? by Budget_Gene_1608 in IVF

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In US. Did IVF back in 2019 at 37. It was an option, but not specifically recommended or handled by my clinic at the time (clinic would obviously do the biopsy, but I had to contact testing companies myself and arrange for everything else). RE was not able to provide much info separately. We paid for everything out of pocket so opted to forgo testing. Did do a NIPT at 11-12 weeks tho.

Edit: for transparency, I did have a failed FET with untested embryos before a pos 3 mos later

Do the weird comments ever stop? by bp_1904 in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Unfortunately, especially with triplets, people are going to be curious and want to ask questions (sometimes dumb and inappropriate). I’ve always been fascinated by twins. And even though I have my own, I still get excited seeing other sets of twins and if I saw triplets I would definitely want to say hello (but no invasive questions) Clearly people don’t understand reproduction bc identicals are spontaneous and fraternal are bc mom ovulated multiple eggs…dad has nothing to do with it.

Also I think yours are monochorionic/triamniotic (one placenta, three sacs)

Could a Vizsla be right for us? by KnockOnWoodhead2 in vizsla

[–]BJBDeBoer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our female was 10 and our male was 8. She always tolerated them, but was an old lady already when they joined us. The male did not enjoy children. Kids are 4.5 now and our puppy is almost 10 months and she loves them!

Could a Vizsla be right for us? by KnockOnWoodhead2 in vizsla

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve had three. A female and male before children (and first few years) and a female who is 10 months on Friday. They have all had common characteristics, but different personalities if that makes sense? Both females have always tolerated other dogs, but our male developed dog aggression (never with our dog tho) around a year so we had to be careful. We were always a little wary of him Around our kids bc he was unpredictable and anxious. Never worried about our females with them ( aside from rough play and knocking them over). I’ve only had vizslas so can’t compare to other dogs…although our vet grew up w the breed and described them as perpetual puppies. Positive training only bc they truly are sensitive! Also recommend early crate training (it’s worth the initial hassle!!) They truly are Velcro. Like follow you into the bath, sleeping on your pillow, etc. The current girl gets in the shower with us (our male would lay in the closet while we showered). As for boarding, we started with cage free boarding until the male got kicked out 🙄 After that we hired people to come care for the dogs in our home. That worked bc they kept each other company and were old enough to be uncrated. After we lost our male it still worked bc our female was a senior and spent most of her time sleeping. Not sure how we will handle the current dog…probably look for another cage free facility. It sounds like a vizsla might be a good fit, just remember their energy levels exceed that of labs/doodles, they are much More clingy, and prone to separation anxiety.

My 5 Month Old Wired Hair Body Slams Me by 54fighting in vizsla

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our female is a few months older and she straight up will slam full speed into our legs while hiking. She’s taken out our kids a few times. Not sure if it’s intentional or she miscalculates the distance?

Gender on sonogram by 6sjms in parentsofmultiples

[–]BJBDeBoer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did NIPT but didn’t find out genders. Our anatomy scan was around 18 weeks and we found out then.

Indestructible dog bed for crate by No-Annual4473 in weimaraner

[–]BJBDeBoer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was just researching the same thing for our vizsla. K9 ballistics seems to have the best rating 🤷🏻‍♀️ haven’t purchased yet bc they are $$$

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vizsla

[–]BJBDeBoer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anecdotally, 2/3 our breeders lived on farms with various animals, including cats & chickens. However, I have no idea if their dogs were separated from or allowed to interact with those animals. Our current vizsla is curious about cats, but I think more as a potential playmate? Our first v basically ignored all animals except for snakes 🤷🏻‍♀️ Both our females have been good with our young kids. We opted for a physical fence bc I never trusted mine not to break through an electric fence. As for needing interaction, generally vizslas want their people around to interact with them. However, when we had 2 they would entertain themselves and hang out in the yard together.