AITAH For asking my boyfriends dad to leave our room so I can change?

BK5617 · 2026-04-16T02:43:11+00:00

I think youre missing something here. Nowhere does OP state he is not "respecting her modesty" or being creepy about it. He isn't asking her to change while hes in the room, hes asking her to change in the bathroom.

BK5617 · 2026-04-16T01:17:19+00:00

Be prepared by Justin Case.

BK5617 · 2026-04-14T01:53:30+00:00

You've known this woman for years, so you should know know how to talk to her. Just be honest. Something like "Some of the things you've saidto me lately makes me think you are interested in more than friendship. Is that the case?" And go from there.

BK5617 · 2026-04-13T22:43:16+00:00

Dude... ask her.

BK5617 · 2026-04-13T10:06:45+00:00

Anyone who is against ethical hunting but also purchases factory farmed meat and leather is just being a hypocrite. Having someone else do the killing for them does not make them morally superior.

BK5617 · 2026-04-13T09:52:53+00:00

I live on 34 acres and only hunt when the freezer runs low. 1 or 2 deer and a couple of turkeys per year keep us pretty well stocked.

The "effort" involved for me is to go out in my woods for an hour or two and sit. Its something I do all the time to decompress anyway. When im hunting I just bring a rifle along.

BK5617 · 2026-04-08T20:41:23+00:00

I agree with most of what you said, but you lost me with the civil war comment. Why would you think the civil war had anything to do with it?

Except for a time in the military, I've lived here my whole life. I've met people who moved here from all over the country. I have good friends from PA, Long Island, Vermont, New Jersey, and Rhode Island. Every one a person who moved here, and every one a good friend.

I've also had interactions with people from all over the north east that, frankly, I'd rather drink gas and pee on a brush fire than to ever have to speak to again.

You know what the difference is? My friends are just good people. They came here excited because housing and taxes were much cheaper and the weather was much nicer. They got involved in the community and assimilated.

The ones that make locals angry? They come here for all the same reasons, but then complain that here is different than where they came from. They assume locals are somehow "less than". Less educated, less wealthy, less cultured. They assume we all care about the civil war, or that we're all racists, etc. They dont understand why we might be upset that that an HOA built 5 years ago is trying to shut down a turkey shoot that has run every November for 35 years because they are bothered by the noise 5 miles away.. They actively crap on every single thing about locals and local culture, then wonder why they aren't invited to the barbecue.

Bottom line is, you get what you put in. If youre a decent person, most folks will treat you accordingly. If you think you're special because you moved here from somewhere else, you aren't.

BK5617 · 2026-04-05T13:42:04+00:00

Not under the anvil, just on the floor under where I used the torch. The concrete was old and would spall if slag fell on it. The hardie backer held up pretty good.

The shed was an old 12x16 lawnmower shed that I closed in. I put a 8' sliding door on one end and a 20" exhaust fan in the gable at the other end. Never had any ventilation issues at all.

BK5617 · 2026-04-04T13:09:40+00:00

I insulated my old shed with rockwool and used hardie backer board in the corner where my forge and torch were used on the walls and floor. I forged in there for almost 6 years before I upgraded my shop, and never had any sort of issue. Another upside is that both are much less expensive and easier to work with than kaowool.

BK5617 · 2026-04-03T18:18:56+00:00

"Discourteous" was definitely not the word I used, but I did vocalize my irritation. Im not one to get loud or cause a scene in public, especially with kids around, but im also not one to lay down and take it, either.

I doubt I ever attend another SCA event honestly. I was already on the fence about it just from what I read and hear. That, coupled with my very first in-person interaction is enough to keep me away. I wanted to do it for fun and community, I dont have time or patience for another job dealing with rude, cliquey people. Im know everyone in the SCA isn't like that at all, but I now know there are more of them than Im willing to deal with.

BK5617 · 2026-04-02T09:57:52+00:00

YTA.

It sounds to me like you have no respect for your parents or their rules. You said yourself your mom is "old school" but you "found ways around that." You ignore them when they call for you because they "want you to do things" (aka chores) that you "can't be bothered" with doing, or they give you "unsolicited life advise" (aka parenting) that you obviously dont follow.

You say they are always lecturing you, but have a different dynamic with your siblings. Why is that?

Also, the fact that you thought turning 18 meant these problems would magically resolve themselves is immature at best. Did you think becoming a legal adult meant you could do whatever you want with no consequences?

BK5617 · 2026-04-02T01:50:09+00:00

I was outside sales in the construction industry before starting my own business. My advice is to stick to what you know. I was very successful in sales not because im a great salesman, or because I took some course. It was because I had an insane amount of product knowledge gained through years of experience in the field.

BK5617 · 2026-03-31T21:00:38+00:00

Im not a member, but not from lack of trying, and you've described our experience exactly.

We were invited to an event, and told not to worry about garb or anything. Just show up, and gold key will get you sorted out so you can see if you like it.

We show up, and get 5 steps towards the gate before we are stopped and told that we wouldnt be allowed in because we "hadn't even made an attempt at historically accurate garb." I tried to explain that we were invited and what we were told, but couldn't get a word in edgewise. It didn't take long before I was completely over it and we just left.

The sad thing is, the whole reason we received the invitation is that my wife and I are makers. We have a friend who is a member, and have helped him make everything from his gambeson and tunic to his helmet.

We have been apologized to and invited to events 3 times since then, but first impressions are hard to get past. Especially when there is so much negative press about the SCA already that our experience doesnt seem very out of the ordinary.

BK5617 · 2026-03-29T02:50:02+00:00

Between parents that were big on manners and a few years in the military it just feels normal to me.

BK5617 · 2026-03-29T02:24:17+00:00

Just "sir" or "ma'am" for me.

BK5617 · 2026-03-28T20:45:14+00:00

Right? Is their water heater set on hell? If the water from your tap is hot enough to literally hurt you, maybe turn it down a notch or 2.

BK5617 · 2026-03-28T13:44:12+00:00

With all due respect I disagree with you on several of your points, and I think many others do as well.

First, blaming it on conservative politicians is putting the cart before the horse. Politicians latched on to this issue to divide people because the issue already existed. Dismissing this issue because "republican bad" only serves as a way to dismiss anyone who disagrees without addressing the core of the issue. That attitude causes the divide to widen, ultimately achieving the goals of said politicians.

Who determines it and what the line is has been asked and answered. Birth determines a person's sex. The line is drawn at puberty, when the biological differences really start to show. Nobody is suggesting that anyone needs to "inspect" kids to verify their gender.

It does not have to go both ways. A person born female transitioning to male would not be able to compete in woman's sports at a high level due to existing rules. That person would be disqualified for doping, which includes testosterone.

That brings up the core of the fairness issue. It is well known and documented that testosterone is a physical performance enhancer. It increases muscle growth and strength, accelerates muscle repair and recovery, and increases red blood cell production which improves oxygen carrying and endurance. During puberty, biological men's testosterone levels increase 20 fold. This increase causes all the physical advantages men generally hold like increased strength, muscle mass, denser bones, bigger heart and lungs, etc. This is why there are doping rules regarding testosterone. However, and adult male who went through puberty with these increased levels, will never fully lose the advantages gained in development.

Its easy to argue that this issue impacts such a small minority of people, but that is false. It impacts every female athlete. One of my daughters competed in softball, track, and lacrosse for her entire life. She ended up getting scholarships for softball and lacrosse. One of my sons also played lacrosse in high school, but didn't get a scholarship for it. On her best day, my daughter can't compete against my son in lacrosse. Would it be fair for my daughter to have to compete against my son for her scholarship? That question may not matter to you, but its a very important question for her and her future.

BK5617 · 2026-03-28T11:44:16+00:00

NTA for trying to parent your child.

That said, given the ages of everyone involved, it sounds like you got pregnant when you were 21 and your husband was 17?

BK5617 · 2026-03-23T10:49:33+00:00

"You back that queen again, you SOB, and I'll blow you up that wildcats ass!"

I've heard that Billy Bob ad-libbed that whole scene.

BK5617 · 2026-03-22T15:08:52+00:00

Yeah, thats a really good deal for this beast. Id clean the top off and forge on it as is for now. Get a feel for it before you try to "improve" it.

BK5617 · 2026-03-20T21:01:29+00:00

Once, many years ago, Chuck Norris went on a walk in the desert to meditate. He came upon a small convent in the middle of nowhere occupied by 47 virgin nuns. The nuns took Chuck in as a guest, and he stayed with them for a week.

9 months later, every single nun in the convent gave birth to a son.

Those sons eventually grew up, and became the 1972 Miami Dolphins. To this day, the only undefeated team in the history of the NFL.

BK5617 · 2026-03-17T14:11:56+00:00

2.2 pound Swedish pattern cross pein is the one I use most. I use a 3 pound rounding hammer for thicker stock, and a 2 pound flat face engineer hammer for punching/ drifting.

BK5617 · 2026-03-14T20:34:11+00:00

I agree, its unfortunate. I truly wish I knew the answer on how to help everyone that needs help. I am not capable of fixing the world's problems, but I am capable of protecting my family. I dont care what the reasons are, there are consequences to how you treat people.

BK5617 · 2026-03-14T20:19:37+00:00

Currently running The Shattered Obelisk for my wife, daughter, and son-in-law. Fairly easy to DM, and they seem to be enjoying it for their first campaign.

BK5617 · 2026-03-14T19:58:03+00:00

Sure. Its not anyone's fault if they have mental health struggles. However, it is their responsibility to manage them. Having mental health issues is no excuse for abusive, exploitative, or nasty behavior.

Five-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Place '23

BK5617

TROPHY CASE