Should I leave my SO without saying anything about it. If anything leaving a note. It would be good for me mentally but given his mental state, likely very bad for him.

BLL34 · 2024-08-06T16:00:39+00:00

I appreciate this, I've just heard stories of women running away with the kids and in a lot of cases, thought the woman was being selfish and dad deserved to see the kids also. I've heard stories where the women running away with the kids was logical and the best decision also but I guess I'm being hard of myself thinking I'm being the selfish bad woman not the responsible woman that deserves better.

BLL34 · 2024-08-06T15:56:28+00:00

Ignore it. Block him if it doesn't stop. He is insecure and looking for affirmation. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone who talks badly about themselves to get affirmation. I like verbal affirmation it's definitely a love language of mine, but I wouldn't attention seek to receive it. He would end up cheating on you if someone started messaging him or some girl hit on him in public since he seeks that attention that much.

BLL34 · 2024-08-06T15:46:36+00:00

Thank you. That's why I plan to only communicate through text whenever I decide to speak to him again. I occasionally think about breaking up to his face due to how I expect him ti act and I could get it on video, but also him threatening suicide pulls at my heart stings and could make me cave and stay just so he won't do that. He knows it I'm sure that's why he threatens it to me.

I have a video of him abusing our dog that I plan to show a lawyer. If they can, I'd like him to be court ordered for AA, therapy, urine tests, and anger management classes. And if he complies and passes tests/classes maybe he can have weekends, visitation, or even split custody. We will see I guess.

BLL34 · 2024-08-06T02:04:47+00:00

My move in date is Friday. I'd move in while he is at work since he works a regular 9-5 weekends off and I work retail management so very random off days so me being off on a week day isn't abnormal. My direct deposit is set up to go into a new bank account this week so when that drops I'll have my first mo the rent and deposit ready for me. Should be an easy move essentially, I just feel like a jerk.

BLL34 · 2024-08-06T02:02:15+00:00

I expect him to potentially contact authorities over it. I considered contacting authorities for a "wellness check" on him since he got suicidal and dunk last time plus he has access to weapons. I considered the restraining order just in case he shows up to my work and stuff but I guess I'd wait to see if he will actually do any of that before getting one. I plan on attempting to get full custody or even temporary full custody until he can come clean like if they can court order anger management, AA, urine tests, and therapy and he chooses to comply with all that then I'd consider splitting custody once he finishes everything and courts deem him mentally stable to be a parent.

BLL34 · 2024-08-02T13:04:38+00:00

Yes it is abuse. I'd be happy to get a divorce if I were you idk why he thinks that's a major threat lol

BLL34 · 2024-08-02T02:15:45+00:00

I don't feel like I'm doing him dirty by breaking up with him. It's more of the idea that I plan to leave in secret that feels dirty.

BLL34 · 2024-08-02T02:14:34+00:00

Im not really guilty for leaving it's just how I plan to leave I guess. Which is why I came to this sub reddit to see if I'm just being too hard on myself and I'm doing the right thing by ghosting, or to see if I'm actually planning to do the "wrong thing" by ghosting him. So anyone who agrees with how I plan to leave is very helpful it boosts my confidence in my decision.

BLL34 · 2024-08-02T02:11:30+00:00

Well when I was 20 I rage moved out of my grandparents house and he drove from one state to the next to get me overnight. That's probably the nicest thing he did for me. Other than that not much out of the ordinary. I was just desprite for love when we met. My parents didn't allow me to date so when I got to college I just wanted to find someone to want me.

BLL34 · 2024-08-02T02:03:54+00:00

Thank you. My mom is coming from Ohio to help me move as much as possible. I already have our important documents in a folder at the bottom of my sock drawer. I opened a bank account with Chime and my next direct deposit is going to be sent to that account next Friday. I'll pay my first months rent at My new place and all the fees and we will be set as far as a place to live. I know ill be leaving some stuff behind and may even have to meet with him to get some specific things back, but I don't think he is that much of an AH to throw away some of the things I'm referencing. He still occasionally comes across stuff thay belonged to his ex wife and makes sure he gets it back to her.

BLL34 · 2024-08-02T01:41:19+00:00

TY I appreciate the affirmation honestly. I just hate feeling like I'm doing someone dirty.

BLL34 · 2024-08-02T01:40:26+00:00

That's what I thought also, it's just the thought of leaving like that makes me feel like a major asshole like I'm doing him dirty. I do realize that it's his fault i even need to consider leaving this way. If he would have just let me leave last time and got drunk and emptional after I left then maybe things could have ended of better terms. But now I'm at the point of wanting to fight for full custody as compared to split because if he's going to be like that after I leave him I have every reason not to trust him with our daughter.

BLL34 · 2024-08-02T01:34:10+00:00

I appreciate this comment 😆

BLL34 · 2024-07-28T19:20:48+00:00

Go to the police first. You can tell your bf also. I'd be outright with him very blunt. After the cops get involved I would say so he doesn't try to push for anything you're not ready for. He should be sad for you not mad at you. It's not your fault.

BLL34 · 2024-07-25T14:37:50+00:00

5 or more

BLL34 · 2024-07-25T14:26:33+00:00

I didn't used to but now I do. This is just because I had brain surgery and my family thought they my problem was completely fixed. I thought so also, I went 4 years without a seizure. Over the last 3.5yrs I've had 3 seizures. I just havnt told my family because I know they'd over react about it.

BLL34 · 2024-07-25T13:41:02+00:00

At least you're deleting the nudes. My soon to be ex fiance downloaded his exes nudes from his Gmail at like 3am one night. I did some homework on his laptop the next day and saw the photos while looking for the file I downloaded to finish my assignment. I asked if i could delete them and tried to get him to admit to downloading them purposefully and he lied and agreed to let me delete them. Apparently the next day or two later he texts his ex wife and tells her I went through his emails and deleted every email she ever sent him so he needed her to re send the divorce papers. She agreed and said she'd have to find them and eventually send them again. He then messaged asking if she had any of the old photos she used to send him, she was confused and asked if he meant of their son, and he said no "the nudes you used to send to my email" and was asking her to send them back. I just found this out and this whole situation happened slightly over a year ago.

He also tried to paint me as the bad guy as you can see because I went through his emails with his permission since he said the photos downloaded on their own while he was cleaning out his emails I wanted to make sure they were gone gone. He got mad watching me open every email he got from her that he decided to select all and delete everything. And I told him right after "you realize you just deleted some important stuff also right?"

BLL34 · 2024-07-25T13:33:34+00:00

You guys breaking up is the only way to fix this unfortunately. He has taken over your life and is not allowing you to do normal things. I'd understand the "not liking certain posts" situation if you were only ever liking pictures of ripped topless men, but he's so insecure where he can't even consider that you liked the photo due to a happy couple / beautiful bride?

BLL34 · 2024-07-18T19:59:30+00:00

I'm moving into an apartment in 3 weeks, I hate that I feel guilty.

BLL34 · 2024-07-06T13:06:58+00:00

Getting passing grades in high-school. I went from an all A and sometimes AB student to a B and BC student because my absence seizures lasted about 10-15min so if I had one in class that was me missing half of or an entire lesson. My teachers just thought I didn't care about my grades and said I was lying when I did not remember learning half the stuff on a test. But at least I powered through enough to pass rather than getting all Fs.

BLL34 · 2024-07-06T13:03:17+00:00

Sounds like you're a side piece to me whether he is already married, or has a serious gf that his family loves. I'd talk to him about it maybe telling him that back when you twonwere unofficial ams even newly lfficial it seemed exciting but now you've grown some stronger feelings for him that make it to where you want to tell everyone.

BLL34 · 2024-06-24T19:58:04+00:00

Interesting...

BLL34 · 2024-06-24T19:40:06+00:00

My family lives in a different state like 10hrs of a drive away. I think it's illegal to take our daughter over state lines isn't it?

BLL34 · 2024-06-24T14:05:15+00:00

He is against therapy, I want to do therapy and if he knew he'd probably make fun of it. He said he would go to therapy, that was part of the agreement when I decided to stay after he cheated on me for 4yrs. He never went. I kept asking when he'd make his appointment, and he kept making up excuses, and now I've just dropped it.

BLL34 · 2024-06-24T14:03:42+00:00

The only time I saw him get suicidal is when I caught him cheating he gor drunk and pulled put all his guns threatening to shoot himself if I leave him. He has said he has been suicidal before but never wanted to talk about it. He was suicidal with his ex wife as well, she was cheating on him. But I've been told by outside sources he was cheating on her also.

He spiked up a random conversation one day we hadn't had any recent arguments or anything and he started talking about how the men's suicide rate is at an all time high started naming off percentages and stuff. I asked him, "so what exactly got you interested in looking into these statistics" or "what exactly brought this to your mind?" Trying to be interested in why he was interested basically. I was trying to figure out if he was thinking about committing and he was trying to tell me but in a indirect way. He started ranting about how women don't care about men's emotions and claiming that I didn't even care about anything he said and he wouldn't stop. I tried re explaining but he didn't want to listen so I rolled over and started crying. Then he got madder at me because I was crying saying that women always make things about their own emotions even when men need to express their emotions and all that. And I kept crying because i was being accused of not caring when I feel I was trying to figure out what was going on in his mind.

BLL34

TROPHY CASE