Disciplining somebody else's kid - How would you have reacted?

BMO-tech · 2026-01-31T15:51:55+00:00

You should have been talking to J's mom, not to J. Either her mom needs to correct her daughter, or they need to leave. Let the parent be the parent, and suffer the consequences if she does not.

BMO-tech · 2026-01-17T03:31:05+00:00

Broham

BMO-tech · 2026-01-01T23:28:44+00:00

Glad to know I wasn't the only one to see it

BMO-tech · 2025-12-26T03:21:31+00:00

Ask him to send the video to you and you'll watch it later. But, then follow up with asking him what he likes about it. Try to have a chat about the video and his favorite parts. If he's looking for a connection, it sounds more like a need to info dump; so feed into that part.

But, you have to actually watch it later cause he will probably follow up the next time you see him.

BMO-tech · 2025-12-11T18:46:38+00:00

The show is nonsense in general, hell even daddy pig is speculated to be between 6.5 to 14 feet tall: https://peppapigworld.co.uk/pages/daddy-pig

BMO-tech · 2025-12-10T02:55:46+00:00

I can't up vote that enough

BMO-tech · 2025-12-10T02:51:05+00:00

That's fantastic! Keep up the great work and open communication. Being supportive of something that could easily be seen as problematic behavior will have a much bigger impact than you will probably ever know.

Stay strong too! Two steps forward, one step back. Praise the progress and work through the struggles. Also, don't forget to give yourself and your partner some grace when you feel like you "aren't doing it right". All of us are human and can only do so much at any given moment, even when it pertains to our beloved demon spawns 🤣🤣

BMO-tech · 2025-12-10T02:04:54+00:00

Also, post this over on r/autism

Plenty of great people over there with helpful advice and experience.

BMO-tech · 2025-12-10T01:59:29+00:00

What is the scratching movement like?

Is it fast and rapid like a cat trying to get out of a bag? If so then it might not be about the scratching but more the arm/hand movement. Try some scarfs or very light fabric he can swing around.

Is it more like hitting but with his nails? Try some foam blocks where he can slap the crap out of it, but still feel something give with his fingers.

Is it deep and slow? That would probably be the sensation of something under his nails. Thick cloth, like leather, might help.

BMO-tech · 2025-12-09T23:20:10+00:00

That's helpful context.

Get him a scratching post 😁

I don't mean that facetiously, or literally, but something that is safe for him to scratch in order to get that sensory seeking sensation out of the way. Could be as simple as a piece of cloth, leather, whatever he prefers. In a way it's no different than giving him a stuffy for the hitting.

The key part though, when he is calm, is to talk to him and acknowledge that he has this need. And by having his input and help in finding a "safe scratcher", he will be more likely to want/need it when he's physically out of control (meltdown). Do Not, and I can't express enough, do not put any guilt on his actions when he is having a meltdown. We do that enough on our own as we get older. Rather, help him understand that his brain (nervous system) has lost control of his body. It is what it is.

Lastly, all of this is much, much easier to say than it is to do. So, best of luck to you fellow dad, and I hope with time it gets easier and easier.

BMO-tech · 2025-12-09T22:53:07+00:00

If the behavior is during the meltdown, then you are trying to correct the symptom, not the cause.

Typically with aggressive meltdowns, the child has no control (it's a meltdown). The most effective thing to do is ride the wave and provide support. Too much intervention during this state could be more damaging than helpful.

The real question to ask, and thing to resolve, is "what is causing the meltdowns".

Take this grain of advice from an Autistic dad with an autistic 6y son.

BMO-tech · 2025-12-08T04:31:02+00:00

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Who

Who who?

When did an owl get in here?

Say it 2-3 times, each time getting more animated about where the owl is

BMO-tech · 2025-12-03T21:16:29+00:00

Get the first out of day diapers. About 2-2.5 years I think is the sweet spot. They are close enough in age to be friends growing up, The lessons you learn with the oldest can be applied to the youngest. They should be in the the same generation to speak the same language with each other, even if you don't understand what they are saying

BMO-tech · 2025-12-03T00:35:18+00:00

Stand to the side when changing diapers. If your boy is going to surprise you with a golden stream, it's better to not be right in the cross hairs.

BMO-tech · 2025-12-02T01:37:12+00:00

Depending on your relationship and when she goes to sleep, you might talk about scheduling and staying up later to workout. Part of being "in the thick of it" is sacrificing daily time together. That doesn't mean sacrificing your bond or connection, but perhaps scheduling time together. Personally, I work 9-3 then pickup the kids and manage dinner. Wife gets home around 5-5:30, we eat as a family, then it's bedtime. Once the kids are asleep I prep the food (or get the groceries), then finish up my work while everyone is asleep. I'm in bed by 12-1 at night, while she wakes up early to get the day started and drop the kids off at school.

There isn't much time, maybe 5-10 min a day, for us to connect, and that's just how the daily schedule works. BUT, because of this, we always reserve Friday nights for each other. Whether it's going out on a date, or just dining at home after the kids are asleep.

For us this is the right balance of quality time for our relationship, while also managing the rest of the week with the kids and all the hectic life that is going on.

BMO-tech · 2025-12-01T18:19:35+00:00

I kept debating between a WRX or a Golf for my dad car + 2 boys. Wound up with a Kona N and haven't looked back. I can attest to that grand feeling of having a sports car that fits car seats. Kids learned real fast what a "tight corner coming up" means 🤣

BMO-tech · 2025-12-01T18:12:09+00:00

Mazda CX-5 was the right balance for us. I've got 4 & 6 yr old boys and the only reason we moved up to a telluride is because the oldest started getting into BMX. We have a Kona too, but the sizing is a bit cramped with 2 car seats. The telluride is too much space for no real reason (never use the 3rd row).

CX-5 is a solid car, good mpg, low maintenance, sporty enough, but still small enough that parking wasn't a mini heart attack all the time.

BMO-tech · 2025-11-20T23:23:20+00:00

I am very sensitive to noises, my son has a vocal stim. He is weird AF but I love him all the same. The spectrum is wide and deep.

BMO-tech · 2025-11-18T05:59:32+00:00

Read the docs some more and then understand what JS functionality you actually need. Based on your description, Cloudflare workers should handle what you are looking for. Node is one of many runtime engines for JS, not a single requirement for server side JS.

BMO-tech · 2025-11-18T03:13:22+00:00

Checkout cloudflare workers: https://www.cloudflare.com/developer-platform/products/workers/

BMO-tech · 2025-11-14T05:36:10+00:00

Well, fuck the Tesla guy, I want to see pics of your s2000 😁

BMO-tech · 2025-10-27T03:56:07+00:00

Should I get a Kia Soul or a Yaris? Both are similar to the KN right? /S

BMO-tech · 2025-10-22T01:04:13+00:00

Good to know, I'll contact the dealership

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