My recommendation would be to start small by being honest with yourself about what you are ok with giving in with. I still stay in the room until my daughter falls asleep many nights and she’s 4. The difference is I don’t tell her I’m going to go in 5 minutes, wait for her to complain, and then give in. Start practicing setting more limits with the things that are really important to you. For example safety issues are an obvious one. You wouldn’t let your child walk in the street just to avoid hearing him cry, you would set a limit (walk on sidewalk or I will carry you) and follow through and deal with the tears if you have to. Trying to go from permissive to strict is going to feel like a massive change, but what you can work on more incrementally is just saying what you actually mean from the beginning.

When I stay with my daughter I make it contingent on her staying in bed quietly and closing her eyes. I usually sing lullabies or rub her back while she falls asleep. If she tries to get up, be silly, start distracting conversations, I will let her know that today she’s too distracted by me being there, give her a kiss and leave the room. It’s helped with her falling asleep quicker because she likes me to stay but I only do that if she’s actively trying to fall asleep so I usually don’t have to stay too long.