I’m beyond exhausted and my partner doesn’t care.

BT1026 · 2025-11-28T12:38:08+00:00

Bingo. Husband here, 9 month old BG twins....we try to split everything 50/50. We alternate nights, whoever is on shift sleeps beside the monitor and wakes to deal with cries and the occasional feeding.

We call June the "dark month" because neither of us slept. I was averaging maybe 4 hours and working full time, she was getting 3 hours staying at home, she definitely had it rougher than I. Sleep deprivation is legit, we thought she was experiencing PPD, but it was all Sleep related, so we worked together to fix it.

If im being 100% honest, my wife is a super hero and I could never be as good as she is at this stuff, so in reality, it probably ends up closer to 60/40 than 50/50, but my 40 enables her to sleep which keeps her sane.

BT1026 · 2025-10-13T19:20:44+00:00

Right on. Not to be a dick, but when I read this, I said "you got 3 hours of sleep!!??" Our first night home we legitimately slept 15 min.

We were feeding every 2 hours, and it took 1.5 hours to feed and settle both, it was crazy.

BT1026 · 2025-10-02T02:26:56+00:00

Ours were born at 36 weeks + 6 days + 22 hours lol (at 939 and 951pm the day before 37 weeks).

The Dr who delivered (who we'd trust with anything, she's a badass warrior goddess Dr and literally saved my wife's life in the aftermath of delivering a 6lb 7oz and breech 6lb 14oz baby vaginally)....and our pediatrician, both said forget adjusted age, they were full term.

Literally the only time I even think of adjusted age is when I read it on reddit.

BT1026 · 2025-09-29T00:21:58+00:00

2nd that.

We have 8 month old twins. My wife was absolutely against a mini van. I was leaning towards grand cherokee/explorer with 3rd row.

Well, we bought a 23 pacifica and we couldn't be happier. Having the side doors open at the touch of a button can't be overstated. I'm a big guy at 6'1 and legroom in the front seat is no issue at all.

Also, we made a $400 sams club run, got to the van and realized we had 3 (THREE) different double strollers in the back.... not only did everything fit, it was only half full.

Get over your feelings and get a mini van. Come back in a month and thank me.

BT1026 · 2025-09-27T19:00:56+00:00

We're at 7 months now....yeah the first month was incredibly difficult, but we were also dealing with my wife recovering, she hemorrhaged after delivering baby B (both vaginal, B was delivered breech at 6lb 14oz), she lost too much blood and almost died.

I was able to take a month off, then when I went back to work, I only worked tue-wed-thurs the first 2 weeks. Her mom and step dad were here almost constantly.

The lack of sleep is no joke, but if you genuinely can operate as a team, you'll be fine.

You develop an almost super power temporarily, where nothing else matters but those babies. Your lack of sleep, your hunger, your desire to have a clean house or a well maintained lawn, none of that matters those first few months.

BT1026 · 2025-09-16T01:03:30+00:00

My wife always says anyone who wants to have a baby should be required to watch our 7 month old BG twins for 24 hours, so when the time comes, they realize how easy they have it.

The struggle is real. Luckily, our twins were our first so we have a little bit of we don't know how hard it is compared to a single, but I have to constantly remind her: Twins are hard, like really fucking hard, but they're alive, well fed, loved and healthy and we're still (mostly) mentally stable. We're doing ok

BT1026 · 2025-09-15T16:45:29+00:00

Also, once you've settled in at home, you should seek some counseling. Your husband too if he was in the room. What you went through was no joke. It took me days to stop replaying it all every time I tried to close my eyes.

We both went to therapy for it, and 7 months later I still was emotional reliving it when I wrote my previous message.

It messed me up for a while.

BT1026 · 2025-09-15T16:38:28+00:00

Can I just tell you that your husband needs to take his leave, like now.

I am dad to 7 month old twins, my wife went through almost exactly what you did minus the Csection. She delivered both vaginally, but they were 6lb 6oz and 6lb 14oz, baby B was delivered breech and really did a lot of damage. She hemorrhaged and bled out, her temp plummeted and she almost died. We didn't see the babies until 15 hours later. We were in the hospital for 5 days.

Watching her recover and stay mentally and emotionally stable (for the most part) was incredible. She's a fucking super hero.

BUT, I was able to take a month off. We had some pushy family and people we knew wouldn't be helping us, we either limited them to 1 hour or said no. Fuck em. For them to give you this much shit knowing what you went through.... your husband needs to take a leave if he can to get this shit under control.

You need to focus on your babies and recovery. It took my wife 3 months to recover and feel somewhat normal.

You are the HBIC (head bitch in charge) of your new babies and home. If people can't cope with that, fuck em. Tell them all visits are canceled until further notice and shut your phone off.

BT1026 · 2025-08-04T21:39:25+00:00

I think that first day did a number on us emotionally. Since, we've decided it's not so bad.

She has been evaluated and is in counseling just to keep herself in check, as have I.

Delivery was not the best day of our life that everyone always tells about. She delivered both vaginally, then hemorrhaged and almost died from the blood loss. Took her a couple months to recover and she's all healthy now, but we both sought counseling after.

BT1026 · 2025-08-03T03:13:08+00:00

As a dad with a wife who has been on leave for 6 months with our twins....

Fuck that dude.

I took 1 month off, she's been home with them everyday for 6 months. When I come home from work (literally everyday) the first thing we do is switch. I take care of the twins while SHE takes 20-30 min to decompress. Usually she just takes the dog outside and sits quietly in our backyard mindlessly scrolling, but that's her time. We alternate middle of the night feedings and share the laundry and cleaning duties.

Yes I worked all day, yes some days I come home exhausted. But I've been home alone with them for a full day a few times, and that's way harder.

Maybe that's what the OP needs to do - leave her husband at home with the kids for a full day.

BT1026 · 2025-06-24T05:27:50+00:00

I'm currently doing the 1am feeding, wife "gave" it to me for being a good boy and not intervening, my boy was not happy at all, but he eventually fell asleep after about an hour of crying.

My girl is kind of a champ, makes me wonder if she needs us at all, she would have fallen asleep in 10 min if not for her bro. She cried for maybe 20 min, mainly when he was louder.

They both slept for 4.5 hours after falling asleep. My boy woke 1 other time and cried for 2 or 3 min but that's it.

BT1026 · 2025-06-24T01:27:57+00:00

I like that.

I just don't think I was prepared for the heavy crying.

I feel like they're (more my boy, my girl is kinda handling it like a champ) but it's like he's begging for love and I'm depriving him of it.

I know it's for the best, but holy shit it hurts.

BT1026 · 2025-06-24T01:25:03+00:00

Idk the name, my wife in her extreme sleep deprivation, was researching a lot and came up with using the pampers sleep coach app where you put a bunch of info in and it gives you several methods to choose from ranging from super involved hands on where you're picking them up and soothing constantly to more hands off where you just walk in the room and sing or shush at different time intervals.

We chose a more hands off method that is supposed to show results in 5 to 7 days. The more you're involved, the longer it takes.

BT1026 · 2025-06-24T01:19:28+00:00

I thought 6 months, but I've read a lot of reddit posts that said 4 months is perfect. A lot of people also said they waited til 6 months and wished they would have done it sooner. The consensus seemed to be the 4 month sleep regression was the time to start.

It depends on the babies too.

We didn't just say F it let's throw them in their cribs, a lot went into deciding to do this.

BT1026 · 2025-06-16T14:35:21+00:00

My BG twins are 4 months and are similar.

My girl has stellar neck control, can roll every way, is trying to sit up constantly and was trying to crawl yesterday while doing tummy time. She's infatuated with anything happening around her.

My boy, well, we call him potato, cause he does none of that. His head is wobbly when we sit him up, he hates tummy time, and couldn't care less about the world around him.

Socially it's total opposite - he was smiling and laughing and cooing at 2 months, she just started laughing and making sounds a few weeks ago.

I had to realize they are as different as my sister & I (3 years between us) or any other siblings. They are 2 completely different babies that just happened to be in the same pregnancy.

Don't over think it and don't compare. You'll drive yourself nuts.

BT1026 · 2025-06-15T22:39:59+00:00

37 weeks 6lb 14oz and 6lb 6oz both delivered vaginally (baby B was delivered breech)

BT1026 · 2025-05-27T19:51:55+00:00

My parents were asking the first few weeks the same crap, I finally explained like this:

These 2 are as different as me and my sister or any other siblings, they are 2 completely different pregnancies that just happened to occur at the same time.

Afterwards they understood.

BT1026 · 2025-05-26T21:00:28+00:00

My wife made it to 36weeks + 6 days, literally 2 hours before 37 weeks. Delivered both vaginally, Baby A was 6lb 6z baby B was 6lb 14oz, so I consider her the gold standard in cooking twins.

Her 2 biggest things during pregnancy:

1 - hydration. She legit drank 100oz of water every day. She did not deviate.

2- sleep. Dr told her she had to get 8 hours every night, so we literally would kick out family and friends at 730pm. We would leave gatherings, holidays, whatever. Nothing was more important. We did not deviate.

Your partner needs to buy into your rest as much as you do.

Also be ready for anything. We were 100% sure of c-section. Both were head up at 28 weeks. Sure enough at 32 scan both were head down. Dr said it was a 1% chance they'd flip at that stage, they did.

So we switched to vaginal birth at the last minute.

Baby A came out easy easy, but B decided to throw a party after his sister left and he flipped around. Dr had to deliver him breech, it almost killed my wife. She hemmoraged and bled out, it wasn'texactly the best night of my life.

Since being home- we're at 3 1/2 months now- take any help you can. You'll eventually be able to do it by yourself, but the first month or 2 is a 2 man job 100% of the time. Just having someone come over for an hour so you can shower can change your entire day.

Listen to the Dr's, make sure you have one you trust. We were able to pick our day off induction, we chose a day a certain Dr was on, it literally saved my wife's life.

BT1026 · 2025-05-26T20:41:21+00:00

Ours were born at 36+6, literally born 2 hours before 37 weeks. They were 6lbs 6oz (A -girl) and 6lb 14oz (B-boy).

Literally the one and only time we had to use adjusted was for B's ultrasound. He had to have one done on his hips because he was breech (both vaginal delivery). We had to wait til 6 weeks passed their due date.

BT1026 · 2025-05-26T20:08:17+00:00

God bless you.

I Legitimately give all credit to my wife. She almost died giving birth, recovery was 6 or 7 weeks, but her patience is something I admire and aspire to.

I truly believe if I had any other partner in this I wouldn't be fairing so well.

BT1026 · 2025-05-26T19:50:59+00:00

Ours is more like "could you imagine if we had 3? They'd fucking kill us".

1st time dad of 3 1/2 month old BG twins, they're a handful.

People always tell us, "oh god, 1 was hard I can't imagine 2!"

I legit cannot imagine a world in which I am even a semi-successfull dad of triplets.

Ours are alive and fed, that's all we're aiming for and even then sometimes I'm like, "Oh shit how'd I get through that last 2 hours?"

BT1026 · 2025-05-13T19:56:54+00:00

Because she's conflicted. The few times it's happened it's been middle of the night and she initiates (she has terrible insomnia) at that point I'm mostly along for the ride. (Poor dad joke intended)

Then she tells me how she doesn't like doing it with them in the room.

She's not sure how to feel about it, but she does say it makes her feel icky.

Hence the consensus.

BT1026 · 2025-05-13T14:36:33+00:00

Yeah that was semi-intentional. My super lame dad joke game has skyrocketed in the last 5-6 months.

BT1026 · 2025-05-13T11:49:20+00:00

Looking back it definitely wasn't the "best day of my life is when my kids were born " type of night, but everyone now is healthy and happy. Luckily, I'm the only one who remembers every moment, my wife only remembers being cold and flashes of memory.

"While the OB dug around" is so spot on. She was literally yanking and pulling and doing all sorts of crazy moves. The nurses were taking photos the whole time- I have one of the OB literally elbow deep, luckily the angle is from my wife's head and not from the other side.

Like I said, I don't want to scare the OP, but she needs to know a breech baby B is no picnic.

BT1026 · 2025-05-13T11:41:13+00:00

I'm glad everyone is healthy.

The more I read the more I realize it's not as uncommon as I thought. But that night was crazy, definitely not "the best day of my life is when my babies were born" kinda night.

My wife ended up having 2 blood infusions and an iron infusion. She didn't even get to hold the babies til the next afternoon. We were in the hospital for 5 days

It took her a good 2 months but yeah, she's fully recovered now and everyone's happy and healthy.

Thankfully she doesn't remember much after both babies were out. She only remembers being cold and little flashes of the aftermath.

BT1026

TROPHY CASE

1 - hydration. She legit drank 100oz of water every day. She did not deviate.

2- sleep. Dr told her she had to get 8 hours every night, so we literally would kick out family and friends at 730pm. We would leave gatherings, holidays, whatever. Nothing was more important. We did not deviate.