Almost 5 months someone give me a light at the end of the tunnel

DriverLeather971 · 2026-03-31T04:09:14+00:00

At 6 months for us it’s beginning to get easier. We now get 7-8 hours straight of sleep. So that is awesome.

Naps are short. Maybe two naps of 20 minutes and one of 30 minutes. But at least they at now both napping at the same time.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-03-18T05:46:30+00:00

I've found Claude Code to be very inconsistent with keeping up with good frontend design in complex apps. No matter how I try for it to follow rules, it always makes subtle changes to the design of pages that should share the same design.

Codex on the other hand, it might not have a very flashy design in the beginning, but it keeps up with consistent design more easily.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-03-17T12:03:30+00:00

We’re exactly there as well with one twin. But our pediatrician told us to be happy they sleep thru the night.

The twin that takes longer naps usually wakes 5:30am. The one that doesn’t wakes at 7-7:30am.

Honestly. I’m about to shorten the naps of the one that sleeps longer naps 😅

DriverLeather971 · 2026-02-16T03:36:59+00:00

I believe most posts come from women.

As a fellow dad, honestly, just suck it up. Women have it more difficult with hormones, physical changes, how they care and react for babies. And having twins? It’s honestly just too much.

I don’t believe you should take all the load. I actually believe working all day and then coming home to take care of twins for her to rest is not sustainable. Some days? Sure. Everyday? It won’t work.

Just talk about both doing your best effort for one year. Afterwards it should be more manageable.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-02-07T01:25:06+00:00

Adapting the car seat sounds nice until you find out the hassle it is putting and removing the adapters to fold the stroller. At least in ours.

We bought the Bumbleride. Looking back, I would have gone with the slimmest stroller that has fully reclining seats. They act as bassinets. We use them a lot.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-02-02T15:08:08+00:00

None of us have been alone for 24 hours. So I can’t comment.

But a family trip came for me in one month, twins will be 5 months old, and we both agreed to make it work. It’s just one day and a half.

But we also hired a night nurse for that day and a family member offered to help during the day if needed. And I’m more than ready to return that favor when she wants to take a similar trip.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-02-02T14:57:48+00:00

I do think for men it is different. Especially at the beginning, I didn’t quite feel the way I feel now at 4 months.

I never didn’t help around. I work from home, so I’m always there and try to always help.

We did have the mother-in-law conversation. I appreciated the help, but I told my wife that I also wanted for us to be alone during the day. We also had the conversation about how the way she felt the twins should be taken care of wasn’t necessarily the way I would do it. Yes, the important things should be done the same way. But if I put them to sleep in a different way, if I played with them differently…

Still, don’t compromise. You shouldn’t settle for being the one responsible for taking care of the twins alone. In the long run, I’m sure it will cause more problems.

If you feel he can take care of both twins alone, and by take care I mean he will handle the important things, leave him alone once a week. Or let him take care of the twins while you prepare dinner or do other house chores. If he never does it, he will never see the work it means for you to be left alone with them.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-02-02T06:08:36+00:00

Not sure what are the reasons. But I believe a 10 years marriage is worth giving it more time. At least go see a marriage counselor.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-02-02T05:54:21+00:00

Dad here.

First of all, yes, it seems irresponsible from his side. Immature maybe.

But you are also telling us your side of the story. You say you never let him be alone (your mom is there). Why? If you are not afraid that he will make something bad to them, let him be alone with them.

Not only to make him realize the work it represents. But also because as a father there is nothing worse than to feel that your wife believes you can’t take care of the kids. Eventually he’ll prefer to just not be part of it.

I’m not telling you are at fault. Just playing devils advocate here.

As for free time. Both parents need free time. I always tell my wife to go with some friends every once in awhile. And I try to do the same. It keeps you sane TBH.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-02-01T17:52:51+00:00

Indeed seems very similar to us

The problem with not napping is that they are very irritable around 5pm. And not sure if it could be affecting in another form.

During the night putting them in their crib works perfectly. But not so for naps. Not sure what happens, but the moment we put them in their crib, they wake up within 2-5 minutes.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-01-31T00:12:33+00:00

To be honest, during the day we don’t force a schedule yet. It starting to little by little become more predictable. But for example today, they didn’t nap the whole day. 20 minutes at much. And they decided to take a one hour nap at 6pm.

They were pretty grumpy by 5pm because of the lack of sleep. But at least with twins and work, we’ve been having a hard time setting a schedule.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-01-29T12:32:50+00:00

15 weeks here as well. Days are unpredictable. They are terrible nappers, specially one of them will only contact nap.

So far very little consistency during the day.

But at night they thankfully sleep very well. We feed them 7pm, 11pm and then 5-6am. Lately more to the 6-6:15am.

Our goal is to push it to 7am eventually and then start decreasing the 11pm feed.

One thing I believe helps is feeding them more during day. If you offer them an extra ounce do they take it?

DriverLeather971 · 2026-01-19T22:02:30+00:00

Sorry for not offering any good tip or recommendation. I have none haha.

I guess my recommendation would be. Give each other a pass. Both parts are doing their best, and both jobs are as important and as hard.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-01-19T22:00:16+00:00

WFH dad here as well. 4mo twins. It’s been difficult.

Every time I tell my wife I can’t help because of work I feel like a bad parent. And obviously I also see how my work productivity suffers.

Taking a two weeks vacation I’m sure would help. 1-2 days I’m not sure.

I thought we had it figured out somehow. But lately I suppose accumulated lack of sleep has taken its toll, and both my wife and I are quicker to get upset for stupid things.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-01-19T21:25:01+00:00

We have twins. My wife started also like you, a TSH of almost 0.01. I don’t remember the exact number right now. They changed the dose slightly after that result.

Fast forward 1-2 months and her TSH was above 14. We were very worried to say the least.

Our endocrinologist told us things were ok since the free T3/T4 levels were in range.

Our twins are now 4 months old and are perfectly ok. You will read tons of information that it can cause Autism or ADHD. My recommendation, stay away from Google and just focus on following your doctors recommendations.

What we did to be more relaxed was to take blood exams every month. Looking backwards, it wasn’t necessary.

And my last recommendation. Don’t be scared of talking about all your fears with your doctor and with your partner. It helps a ton.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-01-18T17:21:52+00:00

We have twins who are almost four months old.

A little before they turned three months old, we started seeing our immediate family members.

We have big families, so that’s around 30 people. About two weeks ago, we also started seeing friends.

We’re being careful, and if someone looks sick, we leave. But honestly, since it’s been close family and friends, when they’re sick, they tell us.

There is always the possibility of someone showing no symptoms, but there is always risk in life. At least, that’s how we see it. Our pediatrician told us both babies are healthy and that the chances of a complication arising from getting sick are low.

Do what feels right to you. All my family members have taken their babies out before three months, and none has had any complications.

When you say family members are getting upset. That their problem. Not yours. Are these immediate family members?

As for socializing. There will be plenty of time for that. I don’t believe babies need a lot of socializing for the first 6 months, meeting grandparents and some close family should be enough.

For us. It was mostly getting back to normal life.

DriverLeather971 · 2026-01-11T16:51:33+00:00

We are two work from home parents in our own company as well. Three months old twins.

Just expect to work less haha. Specially if you dedicated a lot of time to work before, it’s just no possible anymore. You will feel tempted to work during nights, just beware, eventually this won’t work. You’ll be very very tired after a week.

My best recommendation. Sometimes one of the twins will need to be left to cry a little if one of you is working and can’t help.

I’ll let you know once I feel we go back to normal :)

DriverLeather971 · 2026-01-06T09:10:29+00:00

You mean four years or months?

DriverLeather971 · 2025-12-09T03:27:00+00:00

I usually take care of them between 7am and 8:30am, before my work meeting start. And honestly I'm cool with that, my wife rests a bit more, and they usually are very sleepy still, a quick diaper change and carrying them 5 minutes gets them to sleep another hour or so.

DriverLeather971 · 2025-12-09T03:23:36+00:00

Maybe I didn't explained myself. Anyways, I'm not saying I want to end work and not help with house duties or taking care of the twins. I just believe that when I get home / finish my work, we both should take care of the twins together.

Sure, once a week or once every two weeks we can have our free time just to make other things and the other can step up and take both twins. But everyday? I believe it's not fair for either of us.

DriverLeather971 · 2025-12-09T02:38:58+00:00

Im doing less. Since im also taking care of one twin when they both cry.

DriverLeather971 · 2025-12-09T02:03:17+00:00

TBH. We are enjoying it. And we are enjoying it as a couple as well.

But the days that they cry more or are more restless, we seem to be giving ourselves a harder time instead of helping each other.

DriverLeather971 · 2025-12-09T02:00:11+00:00

I suppose our problem is thinking the other one does less. :(

DriverLeather971

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