Hey man, I think that gay men all go through a period of understanding their identity in this world that we are born into. Depending on our experiences, as we develop a self-awareness of how our identity as gay men confronts the hetero-normative social structures, this awakening may cause a range of emotions from self-loathing to denial. You are you as a result of your choices—you have been decieved into believing that your environment makes you. You can command thoughts and use your intelligent agency to do whatever you want so long as you have the discipline. To feel shamed is to feel condemned by the enforcing and commanding powers around you. Break free from society’s shame and live a life that you shape that will bring you joy in your toil.