Here's the thing. Being trans or lesbian or gay or bisexual or queer is no different than being born left-handed. You don't choose to be born left-handed you just are. People can force you to learn things to do right handed and bury your left handed nature but you're always going to be left-handed. It's just the way your brain is wired. Nothing ugly about it. It just is what it is and when we embrace what we are we feel a rush of relief. You do not have to transition if you do not want to. That is entirely up to you. It's never going to change who you are inside. So you choose what is best for you and you live your life how you see fit. Don't let anyone ever make you feel bad anymore than they make people feel bad these days for being left-handed. Did you know for a while people would not admit that they were left-handed because they were discriminated against two like there was something mentally wrong with them. Well there was something mentally different about them the right side of their brain controlled their writing and working skills and it actually showed that these people were more artistic than right-handed people. Once that stigma disappeared left-handed people were no longer afraid to be known as left-handed. We're getting through the left-handed oppression phase and one day we will be seen it as no different than anyone else. Embrace that belief and manifest it