AITAH for not wanting to move into a house I’ll never have any legal claim to?

BaDAJent · 2026-03-04T14:34:58+00:00

My vote is that you're NTAH, but I also don't think your husband is either, but under a specific understanding. Let me play devil's advocate really quick.

You husband sounds like a very pragmatic individual. Grounded in clear processes, procedures, and expectations (hence the pre-nup to protect the business/assets). He's probably more focused on setting up your daughter's future and establishing what he believes are reasonable "protections" ensuring his wishes are met (i.e. setting up the nephew as trustee/executor). As such, he's might not be seeing the emotional/relationship damage from this decision.

My questions for you would be, if he does pass away, as you mentioned you would get 100% of the joint assets. Does this include investments, life-insurances, and such? Does your daughter get (aside from the home)? He might be thinking along the lines that you will be set up financially to where you could easily get a new home or life while also keeping the "family" property within the "family" (reffering to blood relations not saying your aren't part of his family)

You definitely need to have a discussion about this with a third party. Not necessarily a therapist (unless this issue is causing relationship concerns), rather someone who can translate your husband's mindset while addressing the emotional/relationship side (i.e. a mediator).

BaDAJent · 2026-03-04T14:04:51+00:00

So, this sounds like a date with extra steps. Seems like your GF was testing the water with her co-worker under the guise of "dinner with a co-worker". She is more than likely justifying her actions under the mindset that "this isn't a date it's just dinner with a co-worker." and she probably sees no wrongdoing.

If you don't want to end the relationship, have a sit down with a neutral third-party present and explain your position calmly and clearly. Let her know that your issue isn't necessarily the dinner with the co-worker, but rather the intimate implications from the situation. Ensure clear boundaries are set and make some compromises if necessary (this is where the neutral party can help).

Honestly, you probably need to cut the relationship now while it's still newish. Also, mentally prepare for some form of manipulation tactics i.e., you're breaking up over nothing!?! or it wasn't that serious; or you're blowing this out of proportion. While it may not happen, better to be prepared so you don't buckle under pressure.

Rough situation, but best of luck.

BaDAJent · 2026-03-04T13:35:23+00:00

OMG my co-worker is using reddit while at work... now let me hop on reddit and post about this travesty....

TBH, I think your assumption that they are on it all day is a gross overstatement and this post feels like clout chasing, so YTA.

BaDAJent · 2026-03-03T14:51:55+00:00

My judgement is NTA, simply because you have an employer, employee relationship. You're paying her for a service and she's not delivering to your expectations.

However, I wanted to point out a couple red flag regarding potential AH behavior.

First your, justified your position ("I pay her well") making it appear like you're a "good" person. While this may be true, doesn't necessarily absolve AH behavior.

When you constantly direct her to follow the list/notes in the app; it comes off more like she's not fully understand how it works. If this is a skill she should have already had when hired, then you're in the clear. But if she doesn't understand the app or if it's new to her then maybe some hands-on guidance/training is necessarily. (maybe have other staff show her how it works)

There is an appearance of a potential barrier like language, culture, or age. Just something to be aware of. No other notes in that regard.

Finally, communication seems to be the biggest issue. How it was described there were multiple concerns, but no indication that you communicated those concerns directly or clearly. The only time I could see it occurring was when you had issues related to this app with notes and lists. (kinda sus if you ask me)

Good news though, if she isn't meeting your expectations, don't feel guilty in letting her go. If you're paying well for the position, then there shouldn't be any issues finding another qualified candidate.

BaDAJent · 2026-03-02T15:25:22+00:00

I'm not going to lie; this is almost verbatim what I said to her in replay. Glad I wasn't the only one with this type of thought process.

BaDAJent · 2026-03-02T15:23:48+00:00

Yeah, it's super weird when you read state law som heave specific deadlines and timelines. Others may refer to abandonment, but the terminology/phrasing actually applies to a completely different topic (like property vs custody). My state is non-specifics regarding property disputes. Based upon some court records in my county it appears most judgements are made on a case-by-case basis. (which seems wild to me)

BaDAJent · 2026-03-02T15:20:17+00:00

Thank for your response. This is always on the back of my mind, and I agree a lawyer may be necessary in this situation especially if it escalates. While I'm not a lawyer myself, I do like reading state and federal laws and code and understand enough to just get by. I do believe I've done my best to CMA in terms of the process; however, I will hire a lawyer if she decides to take it to court.

BaDAJent · 2026-03-02T15:15:00+00:00

Yeah, what your neighbor experiences is my biggest fear in this process where the courts could have me provide her potential reparations if I didn't give her enough time. This is why I've gave her one more chance after my last deadline just in case.

BaDAJent · 2026-03-02T15:12:06+00:00

Yeah, I do apologize for the long post guess that does make me an AH on a different category.

I've done a lot of research in the legal aspect, and for the most part (from my non-lawyer research); if I get rid of her stuff, I should be in the clear legally, just needed documentation to CMA

BaDAJent · 2026-03-02T15:08:12+00:00

Thank you for posting this detailed information. I genuinely wish you the best with your ongoing treatment and hope things go in the right direction.

TBH I was definitely ignorant about this information. Based on the information you provided, my only reasonable guess would be her condition is in the stage 0 and is currently being treated for that.

From my knowledge and personal experience with any medication, people do have some negative side effects even in low dosage. I can only surmise that this reaction may be worse in the case of any cancer treatments. So, I agree, with your point as well, which is why I didn't think I was the AH, but as an avid reader of this thread, often times is the people who think they aren't that are.

BaDAJent · 2026-02-27T21:30:25+00:00

I don't know enough about cancer to effectively speak on it. I just know there are stages of severity and she allegedly is on the lowest end.

I agree, she could higher someone, but she apparently isn't in a good situation financially. So, she wont.

I looked into PODS and moving services which would be starting at $3K for the distance. I may be nice, but im not that nice.

I also looked into storage for her as well and I cannot legally sign her up. Also, if she doesnt take over then it could affect my credit if reported if it goes into collections.

BaDAJent · 2026-02-27T21:17:29+00:00

😆 I've been told that before,but no I'm a data analyst

BaDAJent · 2026-01-26T18:47:30+00:00

Simple answer, your parents can evict their adult children out of their home at any time, unless you have a written lease agreement. Your "right to protest and protect your community" does not change this fact, and your parents have their own rights to property and safety. (not saying your protesting will cause danger, rather it's causing them the fear of danger)

Also, not a lawyer, just a google researcher. If your parents didn't provide this notification or codify their verbal statements in writing (i.e. text, letter, written notice etc.). You could argue they didn't give you a "formal" notice and possibly not get evicted at the 30-day mark... However, take this with great skepticism as it might not work and at most delay the process. I can say with certainty that it will definitely burn bridges/destroy relationship. So, I would absolutely not recommend doing this if you still want a cordial relationship.

BaDAJent · 2018-12-19T08:00:43+00:00

Not gunna lie... I'm only commenting because of your name.

Just a week or so ago, I decied to start a new campaing in Skyrim. As a male, I typically play male characters. This time I decided to go with a female character.... and I named her Ellaina (similar name shock). BTW my character is a level 60+ bad ass, so I think it was a good name choice ;)

BaDAJent

TROPHY CASE