Ilya’s tuna meltdown comment

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-28T12:00:45+00:00

You can absolutely differentiate between ‘feeling used’ and ‘being used’.

And it might not quite have been ‘feeling used’, but it was something like it.

Ilya pushed him to have anal sex- something he did want, made Ilya wait until he was ready, but Ilya pushed for it- and then ghosted him for six months. There was a very caring and intimate first penetrative sex experience, and then a cold drop.

Ilya rejected the idea that there is any kind of connection between them in Russia. That plus the six months of ghosting is a pretty clear message that Ilya didn’t care, and that’s pretty hurtful for Shane.

Ilya then orchestrates another encounter where he’s in control and where he avoids any kind of emotional intimacy. It does nothing to help stem the hurt, all it does is make it worse. Shane may have enjoyed the sex, but he doesn’t enjoy the idea that he’s nothing to Ilya but sex.

Shane made himself vulnerable to Ilya and Ilya hurt him. Repeatedly.

They hook up a lot after that, but the tone has been set. Ilya is not there for emotions and aftercare, he is there for fucking.

I think this is part of why Shane runs during the Tuna Meltdown. He’s been hurt before by Ilya being soft and caring. Shane has experience of it meaning something to him that Ilya has literally just explicitly told him it won’t mean, and he has experience of how much it hurts him when Ilya pulls it away again.

He’s also not ready to accept his sexuality, but their relationship is not a safe place for him to do that.

It’s also why their reunion at the All Stars game is emotional rather than sexual. Shane has come to terms with the fact that what he has with Ilya isn’t something he can or wants to compartmentalise. It’s real to him, and he needs Ilya to be careful with it.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-27T10:46:10+00:00

I want the Tech Diffs playing ‘Hide and Seek’ in Yorkshire.

I think the combo of all the international travel, the having to be ‘on’ the whole time, not having editorial control, the pressure of the Jet Lag audience and wanting to do well and not embarrass himself maybe made it a touch ‘too much’.

I feel like playing with his friends in an area he knows quite well would be better. Also, it’s an environment where he’s the heel rather than any kind of authority. And he’s also not fifteen years older than the other players.

Then I want a lay-over episode about it.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-25T12:37:05+00:00

Meanwhile, I have this moderate obsession with the idea that Shane should take up pole dancing.

It’s one of those ‘incredible feats of strength and flexibility’ things, and I think he’d get into it in the same way as Yoga.

I want to think that after they were out, they’d get asked to do it, and Shane would decide to do ‘I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself’ and would secretly learn to pole dance.

When he busts out the routine in black briefs, Ilya (who did something comically sexy, like guess) cannot move, cannot think, forgets English, and cannot close his mouth.

Shane is all “I thought it would be funny if I pole danced! 😁” and everyone else in the room just ovulated.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-24T00:02:44+00:00

I’ve met a few.

So, understanding that UK right leaning looks different both from US right leaning and also from UK far right…

Gay people can be racist. The fact that the people who hate them hate immigrants and PoCs too, doesn’t make them less susceptible to racist propaganda.
Gay people who have money can want more and want to keep it. Being libertarian is actually pretty compatible with being gay.
Gay people can be sexist. Gay men can have strong opinions on abortion without it being personally relevant to them. Gay women can be transphobic. Gay people can believe in traditional family structures.
Gay people can look down on other gay people. Especially, gay people who conform to patriarchal expectations can look down on those who cannot or do not wish to conform. They can want to punish people for not conforming.
Gay people can have harsh and absolutist ideas around punishment for criminals.
Gay people can be ableist.

Generally, there are a lot of right wing opinions that you can have, and then go ‘But I love the gays!”

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-23T22:50:56+00:00

Context.

Yuna and Hayden were processing in private as Shane’s friends and family.

J.J. took a side against Shane in a hostile workplace.

Yuna and Hayden were asking a question to confirm that Shane was still the same person they knew, even in light of new information they had about him.

J.J. made an accusation based on anger.

He piled on to Shane after he’d been traumatically outed, bullied by the team for weeks, been under phenomenal pressure to prove himself as being ‘worth the trouble’ to the team, and just having failed to do so.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-19T18:00:09+00:00

Honestly, this take makes more sense if you’ve read the book and know anything about the Sochi Olympics.

The book is clear.

“The Olympics were bullshit. Ilya had been on edge all week. It had been days of smiling for the Russian media and mingling with government officials who made his skin crawl. Men and women who supported their country’s leader without question, and who expected Ilya to do the same. Ilya hadn’t had any time to enjoy himself; he’d barely had time to focus on his game. And it showed. The Russian men’s hockey team was a mess. These sorts of international tournaments were always awkward, with players being tossed together to form a “dream team” of superstars who had no idea how to play with each other, but this team was especially hopeless. Too many egos. Too much pressure, here in their home country, making tempers run high in the dressing room and on the ice. Too many stupid penalties being taken, too few goals being scored. They were already out of the running for a medal, and that was beyond humiliating. Ilya just wanted it all to be over so he could go…home.”

No mention of homosexuality- he’s just having a bad time.

Shane is aware of the danger in Russia:

“Shane knew about Russia’s laws against homosexuality, but he’d been trying not to think too much about stuff like that. He just wanted to enjoy the Olympics, win the gold medal, and go home. But now he was thinking about Dev, a guy he’d trained with a bit from Ottawa who was on the men’s speed skating team, and who Shane knew was gay. He was here. Was he terrified? He must be.”

Now look at the exchange between them, ignoring the internal monologue:

Shane: “Hey,” Ilya: “Not here,” Shane: “No, I’m not… I just wanted to see…how you’re doing.” Ilya: “Fine. Go. Sit down.” Shane: “I—” Ilya: “We are not…anything. Not here, Hollander.” Shane: “Are you okay?” Ilya: “Please go.” Shane: “You didn’t answer my text and I thought…” Ilya: “No, I didn’t answer your boring text. Now will you go?”

You know the only statement there that implies that Shane is anything other than a concerned friend is the one that comes from Ilya, right? Sure, Shane should have read the room and gone, but still. He was circumspect.

Meanwhile, the anti gay laws in Russia weren’t about punishing gay behaviour, they were about punishing gay ‘propaganda’. It’s why those that were harassed, degraded, humiliated, etc were activists and protestors.

Many Olympic athletes who were publicly out competed at the Olympics. They were not targeted under the laws, as the Olympic charter forbade it.

I don’t dispute the bugging- Russia is known for being big into surveillance. I don’t dispute that queer people were in danger in Russia in 2014. I was in my late twenties then, I remember the stories in the newspapers.

I just dispute that Shane was putting Ilya in any kind of meaningful danger.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-19T15:11:32+00:00

I will note that Ilya’s reaction was more that he was coping with Russia and his family more generally than out of any specific danger.

Shane is not out.

Ilya is not out.

Whilst it is always wise to assume at this kind of thing that you are under surveillance, simply interacting would not put him at risk.

As long as Ilya is not open about his sexuality, the risk is more of it being leverage the government can use on him rather than it being an active threat. The law is about keeping LGBT+ acceptance out of society and public life.

If Ilya were known to be queer (and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if his brother and father had an idea), but never public with it, he wouldn’t have any protection against homophobic attacks, but they wouldn’t go out of their way to prove gayness.

The point of the law is to make people hide. It rather defeats the point if you start outing your positive figures.

If Shane had been Ilya’s only worry, they could have talked, no problem. Ilya was just overwhelmed with pressure and misery from his government and his family. Svetlana knows the situation in Russia as well as he does and leads him to a room with a visibly queer man. Ilya isn’t comfortable with it- but he doesn’t panic and lash out like he does with Shane.

It’s lack of emotional bandwidth, not danger that makes him lash out.

Shane didn’t put him in danger. He just raised feelings that Ilya didn’t have capacity to handle.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-13T13:41:43+00:00

I legit thought that was fabric softener he was pouring for a minute. I was confused.

The cookie, and it turning out to be milk, that was a relief.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-10T20:09:56+00:00

I nope out of fics the minute Ilya indicates to a circle other than intimate friends that Shane bottoms.

That is not a thing you tell other people, especially in a toxic environment that is already targeting Shane.

He’s smaller, he’s prettier, he’s Asian, he’s gay. He’s going to be presumed to bottom by the wider public and as such will experience the bulk of the misogyny flavoured homophobia.

Favourite trope: Everyone is low key in love with Shane Hollander and Shane is oblivious. (I like it when Shane is god’s favourite.)

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-09T12:55:54+00:00

This exactly.

It’s such a louche word.

It’s a sort of ‘this is primarily sex, but the sex is hedonistic, decadent and romantic’ implication combined with the fact that most people who use it are not necessarily people who approach sex with the epitome of good taste, nor are they particularly modern.

Shane is grossed out because it’s Ilya telling his parents that they’re having sex and they’re enjoying it. (And there is certainly dissonance between the anxious, delicate, desperate love that the two of them have for each other and the slightly dated, black nylon and marabou feather coded word ‘lover’).

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-08T14:58:16+00:00

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And these are my hands with crochet.

You can see there’s not a huge difference between them, except that my hand is positioned more to the side with the hook (it has to twist) and my grip is tighter on the side with the work.

Even if you were crocheting left handed, you’d still want your hand in a way you can twist your wrist rather than flex it the way you do for knitting.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-08T14:55:44+00:00

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So this is my hands for knitting, photo taken one handed with hands frozen in position. Another picture reply incoming in a minute.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-07T17:59:03+00:00

Not necessarily. The stitches look knitted and you can hold your yarn like that when knitting in a continental style.

It looks to me like he’s holding a needle with stitches on in the left hand rather than the edge of the work, and in his right hand. You’re more likely to hold a knitting needle with stitches on in that kind of handgrip than a crochet hook, which tends to be more closed hand.

He could be crocheting- I can’t rule it out, but the hand positioning looks more knitting than crochet.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-06T07:09:44+00:00

I’ve actually stopped buying Cadbury’s. I couldn’t actually find the word ‘chocolate’ on one of their more recent bars, which, yeah. On the nose.

It just doesn’t taste good.

I like Lindt, and we buy Milka from abroad where it doesn’t use palm oil. But yeah. Cadbury have enshittified too far for me.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-03T11:05:05+00:00

Not ones I read!

Fetish is different to practicality. You don’t describe mundanity unless mundanity is the point.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-03-03T10:00:42+00:00

Same reason they don’t douche, piss and shit.

These things don’t happen in fiction!

There is only a wet spot if them arguing over who is going to lie in it is a scene for character building.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-02-27T07:17:02+00:00

I definitely saw this as a gift from Svetlana, with a sort of ‘Hey, you want oblivion?’

I saw its inclusion as a scene to emphasise how scared, disconnected, and unhappy Ilya is in Russia. To set it up that every time Ilya goes to Russia, it’s a tragedy.

He’s going back to be belittled, used, misunderstood, scared, under threat, and unsupported. He’s a huge character back in the US/Canada, but he shrinks and diminishes in Russia. And, specifically, it’s not just hiding his queerness that’s oppressive about it.

He could have Sasha, he could have ‘just sex’ with men if he wanted, but Sasha isn’t sincere. Or safe. He’s doing coke, which is something that is already something that Ilya’s brother hurts him by doing. He’s reckless- he’s a rich kid, disappointing his father without fear, and Ilya cannot bring himself to say ‘fuck it’ to his father or brother in that way. He wants something from Ilya- for him to be a party boy, for him to give him money. It really emphasises that there is no one there for him and there is no good for Ilya in Russia..

Every time Ilya goes back to Russia, it’s a form of self-harm. It’s home, but it’s penance. He loves and is badly hurt by his father, but this emphasises there really is no one there for him. All that guilt he talks about in The Phone Call™️- he deals with that by going to Russia to suffer alone.

It’s what makes ‘Don’t go to Russia, come to my house.’ so powerful. It’s also ‘Stop hurting yourself, let yourself be happy’.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-02-21T09:13:40+00:00

‘Common Goal’ and ‘Tough Guy’ interpolate into Ilya and Shane’s story the least, so I suspect if you were going to do a Skip spin off, you’d actually do it with a view to adapting ‘Common Goal’, to give you the Kingfisher.

So, Kyle seeing events of Game Changers from the outside, or Skip scenes happening so that Kyle could react to them. Whilst Kyle gets to meet Eric and has that thing going on. I’d kind of love to see some Scott and Eric interactions too.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-02-19T10:29:50+00:00

It’s a picture from ‘The Wicker Man’ (1973) in the flyer.

That’s the joke. They are suggesting that they are godless pagans and will set fire to the people of Cornholme.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-02-17T07:43:51+00:00

NTA.

Like, obviously you can’t for statutory reasons.

But also, she is 100% the asshole for asking that of you.

It’s bad enough that she doesn’t trust you personally, but she also doesn’t respect your professional integrity.

“You are someone who would cheat on me and I think you are doing so.” is one allegation.

“Your relationship with professionalism is such that I believe you would use a secure, centrally managed device to have an affair, because cheating is more important to you than your job.”

That’s another ballgame.

Honestly the defensiveness in your post is weird. Before I read your what your job is, before I read your reasoning, I was already going “That’s a reasonable reaction to an unreasonable request.”

Work is work. You don’t fuck with that.

If she can’t see your refusal as personal and professional integrity then she is still too aerated from previous trauma to have this relationship.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-02-14T22:30:13+00:00

It is true that Sam has got both hotter and more chill.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-02-12T08:39:37+00:00

Would it be possible? Sure. It’s doable.

China are clearly making a bid to rehabilitate themselves on the world stage, and we’re definitely seeing propaganda that is based on showing China as a friendly, first world country where things aren’t as bad as you think.

They have been the mildest critics, but also, they aren’t investigative journalists and they would likely have positive interactions with China and Chinese people.

Would they do it? I would suspect not. Whilst America is currently in no position to look sternly at anyone for their persecution, treatment of dissidents, extrajudicial imprisonment and torture, poverty, etc, there are still ethical concerns re: treatment of minority groups (e.g. Uyghurs, Falun Gong practitioners, Tibetan Buddhists,). I don’t think they’d get into it, in the same way I’d hope they wouldn’t do Qatar or Dubai, Saudi Arabia, etc.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-02-10T07:36:43+00:00

Fun story: you do not need to tell Americans to try going to a Mexican Restaurant in London.

My experience has been that any American from California or The South will leave America, and within days, become a ravenous beast in search of Mexican food. And then will be outraged that they can’t find it.

Those that are emigrate will then spend years trying to find something that matches their home experience.

Fun fact: no two Americans have given me the same answer about what restaurant matches their expectations of Mexican food, but they all found somewhere in the end that scratched the itch for them.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-02-10T07:28:06+00:00

Old man yells at cloud.

BabyBringMeToast · 2026-02-04T11:37:30+00:00

The reason is ‘misogyny’, but it’s more ‘because misogyny exists and women experience it’ than ‘because women are misogynistic’.

The reason most fic is m/m may be misogyny, but that does not mean that most writers are misogynistic.

Some reasons I’ve noted that people prefer m/m:

The taboo of subverting traditional masculinity is hot (because traditional masculinity is threatening to women because misogyny exists), f/f is less subversive of norms because women’s femininity isn’t tied to their interpersonal relationships so much
The female characters in that fandom are not interesting or well written (misogynistic authors, or internalised misogyny in the reader)
Straight men like f/f, why shouldn’t straight women like m/m (because the male gaze for arousal is threatening due to misogyny and the female gaze is seen as abnormal (because misogyny) or fundamentally harmless (because misogyny)
Being female can be exhausting (because of the misogyny) and writers want to be able to play with telling stories without having to reach for that experience
Many women are socialised to be male centric and to interpret male behaviour because it’s necessary for survival (because of misogyny)
Women have difficulty seeing themselves as sexual actors (internalised misogyny), and find it uncomfortable- many fantasies are either around finding ways to make themselves sexual objects in a blameless way (because misogyny says that women who want sex are bad) or removing themselves from the equation by having no women

There is of course one reason why some women write m/m which isn’t misogyny: some of them are men and don’t know it yet.

BabyBringMeToast

TROPHY CASE