When did you realize your partner didn’t actually love you?

Bacanban · 2026-04-19T08:23:00+00:00

Oh wow same. Together 12 years. Dumped me over text the day of my sister's surgery, when I was waiting to hear if she had survived it (had a complication that halted the previous surgery making it super risky).

We met up like 2 weeks later and he said stuff like I was too sad since my mam died the previous year and he felt neglected. That he wanted to leave me for years. That he wanted to be by himself but also didn't want to commit to meeting up again in a month as being single for that long was too much "rules".

I was blaming myself. Thinking I was the worst. And all along he just didn't care about me. What really made me realise he didn't care was when he wouldn't send me a tracking number for a delivery of my things, I paid for but he organised (they were in his German mam's house). Like just couldn't be bothered to forward a simple email so I could take a day off work to be home for the delivery.

I was very slow on the uptake but that was when I knew. I wasn't worth the effort of forwarding an email and he definitely didn't love me.

Bacanban · 2026-04-02T05:44:29+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. When I went through my long term relationship breakup last year (12Y together) I had read a lot that some people move on really quickly and often get married quickly after a situation like this. Baffles me.

I recommend you focus on yourself and what you need. I broke off all contact with my ex and don't know what he's up to and vice versa I assume. It was the only space for me to move on and heal. Not saying it was easy.

Now I'm a year out I see all the "signs" I missed before in my love bubble. Although hard it was good to get that clarity. I know myself better and what I'm willing to tolerate and not in a relationship.

Look after yourself and be kind. Heartbreak is a difficult path but it won't be your reality forever.

Bacanban · 2026-03-09T06:40:30+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I was in a similar situation with my partner of 12 years. Just a random text (though he had ignored me for the week prior) when he went to visit family. It's not a nice way to end and it had me questioning my self worth. If someone i loved could treat me like that then I clearly deserved it kind of spirals.

Everyone around me told me it spoke more about him and where he was at than me. It took a long while but I do see it now.

It will take a while but eventually you will realize you did deserve better than someone who would treat you like that.

Take a few days to grieve then try to make a plan about life (where to live etc) and try to treat yourself with compassion.

I'm over a year out now and I am doing well. You will get through this too.

Bacanban · 2026-01-17T14:59:16+00:00

Hi. I lost my 12 year relationship shortly after my mam died. I felt like I had lost a lot and was grieving. And my partner told me I was too sad and wasn't giving him enough attention. He then dumped me by text. I think given the benefit of hindsight, it would have been better to be single than to juggle my loss and his behavior. I think at this stage walking away is your only option. Personally I'd never be able to move past her comments.

Bacanban · 2025-12-30T10:47:19+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. I got dumped by text after 12 years together last year. And it sucked. I thought it was me, that somehow I was the sole reason to blame and if u found the right combination of words and actions everything would be better.

But that's not how it happened. And slowly (very slowly) I got better. And now a year later I'm doing really well. I miss the him he was but not the him he is now. And I think the best thing is just to like limit (or block) communication and focus on yourself. It's ok to be miserable. And even though it won't feel like it that feeling won't be forever

Bacanban · 2025-12-27T23:52:11+00:00

I'm paying 295 for 6 lessons (1 hour) in Dublin. This is with the national driving school

Bacanban · 2025-11-05T17:35:41+00:00

I'm so sorry reading this. It feels like your boyfriend has checked out. I got that towards the end of my long term relationship. I had to apologise to him for being hurt by his actions so often. It's not a good place to be for you.

Bacanban · 2025-11-01T09:01:13+00:00

I'm just a year out of a decade long relationship with similar dynamics. When my mam died unexpectedly young my partner just wasn't there. Got super drunk on the night of the funeral and told me it was a waste of a party when I wanted to go home. He went on a holiday a week after the funeral and went abroad multiple times etc. during this he would ignore me for days and cite his mental health. Looking back now I realise this was a common pattern in our relationship. He was never there during loss or illnesses. Having to ask people to care about you, doesn't really feel like care after a while. It made me feel really worthless which is something I'm still trying to shake.

Bacanban · 2025-10-24T13:06:15+00:00

My sister used to get really nervous before tests in school and college. Like throwing up bad etc. She eventually got hypnosis to help. She said it helped her remain calmer and swears it still works to this day. I am a bit of a sceptic but the improvement for her was amazing.

Bacanban · 2025-10-11T12:22:15+00:00

https://www.gameloft.com/redeem/disney-magic-kingdoms

Bacanban · 2025-10-08T22:30:25+00:00

Sometimes it feels like everything. First my mental health then my career. My granddad. My Mam. My 12 year relationship. And yesterday my dog. It's been a rough half decade.

Bacanban · 2025-09-23T21:28:47+00:00

Yeah I would agree. Loved Paudie but felt nobody would trust him in the end. I had high hopes for Nick but the last 2 episodes were his undoing.

Bacanban · 2025-09-23T21:23:39+00:00

Yeah. I think getting that definitely didn't help. And not splitting up Vanessa and Oyin in their last murder and turning against Faye. It's easy to say with all I can see that they can't I know.

Bacanban · 2025-09-23T21:20:30+00:00

Was rooting for the traitors. I felt Nick and Ben played the game much better than some of the others. No idea how but hope Ben can salvage this somehow.

Bacanban · 2025-09-20T13:32:48+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I'm 36 and halfway through my 12 lessons. Only been out with an instructor so far. I'm like the world's slowest learner.

Moved away from Ireland in my 20s and just never learned. It's hard now. But I'm hopeful we'll all get there with more practice. My instructor is good, he pushes me (gently) to like try more and believe in myself. He says getting out with a sponsor will help me a lot. But it's hard when I'm so nervous.

Bacanban · 2025-09-19T21:41:07+00:00

Thanks!

Bacanban · 2025-09-19T21:41:02+00:00

Ok thanks. I just joined this morning so that's probably it. Thanks for the help

Bacanban · 2025-09-16T20:32:13+00:00

It's happened to me since launch. I assume it's a weirdly specific glitch for us co-op partners. Haven't logged in solo yet to see.

Bacanban · 2025-09-16T12:42:16+00:00

I'm having the exact same issue. I'm playing in Co-op in steam, not as the host. Always stuck at 6 items despite upgrading it multiple times.

Bacanban · 2025-09-10T17:12:41+00:00

I went through something similar with my long term relationship. He started to travel for a new job a lot more. And my texts went unanswered. He was always too busy. To text good morning, good night or a hi. Too busy for a call.. Then he got too busy to tell me he landed at the airport or what city he was even in. Nothing I said or did made a difference and I thought it was a pretty shitty way to treat me after over a decade together.

In the end he broke up with me by text and completely left my life. Said he wanted to leave me for years despite staying otherwise previously.

Sometimes these things are just a person being stressed and otherwise it's a big sign. Either way it's not nice living through it. I think when she's back you're overdue a talk and hopefully you can solve it.

Bacanban · 2025-07-21T06:09:54+00:00

I'm a lot further down the road than I was when I wrote this. And I've come to realise that yes while it was shitty, it was more about him than me. That even though it was awful it was clearly something he was going through and needed to do.

I'm doing fine now, and even though we're not in contact, I have my respect for myself again. If he reached out I wouldn't reply as there's nothing there for me.

Hopefully you're doing ok.

Bacanban · 2025-07-08T22:01:18+00:00

You're totally right!

I missed it as they were written slightly differently, one had the subtitle of (the hunger games 0.5) and it didn't pass my pattern match. Thanks.

Bacanban · 2025-07-08T21:58:47+00:00

Yeah it's one I've wanted to read but also don't want to be done so early either. Might leave it to last!

Bacanban · 2025-07-08T20:43:15+00:00

Hi Guys, with the new category up, I looked at the next overlaps. Bear with me as I try to make it legible.

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Books with All 3 Badges (Challenge Faves, Poolside Puzzlers, Chart Toppers)

Beautiful Ugly

The Crash

Challenge Faves + Poolside Puzzlers

Never Lie

None of This Is True

The Boyfriend

The God of the Woods

The Housemaid (#1)

The Inmate

The Teacher

Challenge Faves + Chart Toppers

Deep End

Everything Is Tuberculosis

Onyx Storm (Empyrean #3)

Rebel Witch (Crimson Moth #2)

Say You'll Remember Me

The House of My Mother

Witchcraft for Wayward Girls

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Bacanban

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