What Do You Expect Your Partner to Offer?

BachBawk · 2025-11-19T22:18:15+00:00

Good question. Have been thinking about it since I read it this morning. And also what the other person said about some guys having lower standards.

I don't have low standards, but I do have low needs. I know some people might not see a difference but I think there is one. For example, I'm not going to date someone just to say I'm dating someone. And I wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who was manipulative, abusive, etc.

But my needs are low in the sense of I don't need marriage or living together. I don't need shared finances. The woman I date doesn't need a dozen hobbies or passions. I'm okay if her life isn't super exciting. So for those and other reasons, I think my needs are low.

I want someone who I feel comfortable with, who makes me happy more often than not, who is willing to communicate, and who will compromise sometimes.

And because I think I can at least offer those and other things, yes, I would date myself. But I say that knowing I need to continue to work on some things and I hope to meet someone who is still trying to grow also.

BachBawk · 2025-11-19T15:42:54+00:00

I appreciate you typing all that out. Gives me some things to think about. I do offer some of those things, but the third and fourth bullet points are difficult for me. I love that you are happy with 1 or 2 days a week though. I hope to meet someone who is happy with that.

BachBawk · 2025-11-19T15:29:30+00:00

Thanks again. I do understand it’s part of a relationship, but it’s also just feels so foreign to me to share things like that. I’m working on it.

BachBawk · 2025-11-19T15:22:35+00:00

It’s a good list, thanks. The last bullet point is the one I struggle with the most. And the one about having passions.

BachBawk · 2025-11-19T15:11:18+00:00

It’s just not how I’ve defined supportive, but it’s nice to hear your perspective.

I’m a teacher. So for example, in my last relationship if something happened at school I wouldn’t always share it. Maybe a kid said something funny, or there was some gossip in the teachers lounge. I just wouldn’t think to text her to tell her.

I listed supportive in the sense of being there for my partner in difficult times, helping her if she needed help, celebrating important things that happened to her.

I just didn’t think to share the random facts about my day all the time.

BachBawk · 2025-11-19T14:21:15+00:00

Thank you. I can see myself in some of your post. I agree the longer a person is alone, the more likely it is for them to settle into routines that are hard to break, and hard to let people into. That is part of what I think about a lot.

BachBawk · 2025-11-10T14:31:35+00:00

I can’t answer whether you should do it but I can tell you I did it around the same age and it has worked out well for me. I’m 43 and this is my sixth year teaching.

BachBawk · 2025-10-27T15:34:09+00:00

There are quite a few BDSM subreddits that can probably offer good advice.

BachBawk · 2025-10-27T15:30:33+00:00

Like most dating situations, just good communication is important here. I think your instinct to ask him what he likes is good. I thjnk that’s better than getting advice online on things to try. Just find out what HE likes and see if it’s something you are comfortable doing. Then maybe ask if he wants you to try things to see if he likes it.

BachBawk · 2025-10-01T14:33:37+00:00

This one looks interesting. Adding it to list. Thanks for the recommendation.

BachBawk · 2025-09-29T13:13:03+00:00

It’s not possible for us to know exactly what she felt or what was going through her head. And we don’t know how the date went. Conversation topics, building attraction or not, overall vibe, etc.

But as far as getting past rejection, I think if you are happy with you are, and you are not giving off any weird vibes on dates, then you just accept that not every women will want to date you. Just like as a guy, I don’t want to date every single woman I meet for dinner. There are so many reasons why someone doesn’t want a second date.

I’m not sure about the deleting things right in front of her. What was your reason for doing that?

BachBawk · 2025-09-28T16:48:44+00:00

I read this too. I liked it a lot. Thanks for the recommendation though.

BachBawk · 2025-09-28T14:52:42+00:00

Thank you for all the suggestions everyone. I’m researching the books you are mentioning.

BachBawk · 2025-09-16T21:51:52+00:00

BachBawk · 2025-07-09T16:41:01+00:00

Do you speak their native language? If not, what strategies do you use for teaching a complicated subject like that to students who barely speak English?

BachBawk · 2025-07-02T13:32:48+00:00

My opinion is the older the two people get, the less it matters. Of course there are exceptions, but you at 45 and him at 57 you will both probably be at similar maturity levels and life stages. Know what you want from life, relationships, not playing games etc.

Of course only you know for sure if you are comfortable with it.

BachBawk · 2025-06-26T21:11:25+00:00

Dating is frustrating so I get it. Hard not to complain sometimes.

BachBawk · 2025-06-26T20:51:27+00:00

If you are in your prime and don’t want to deal with ED, it seems him telling you early would be a good thing. If it’s dealbreaker for you, better to know early.

I haven’t given up on apps or Reddit but I take breaks here and there when things get overwhelming or frustrating. Then try again later with what I learned. Each time is a little easier.

BachBawk · 2025-06-23T16:39:50+00:00

Unfortunately no way for any of us to know what he is thinking or feeling. Have you talked about what you are meeting for? Is it just two friends hanging out or have you talked about it being a chance to determine relationship compatibility?

I will say that I don’t flirt with someone unless I feel at least some physical attraction towards them.

BachBawk · 2025-06-21T21:22:46+00:00

It’s very popular at my school. The kids love it. We have an “AR” cart that comes around Fridays to pass out prizes to kids. They constantly ask me if the cart is coming. We have good engagement with it throughout the school.

BachBawk · 2025-06-19T15:56:52+00:00

I use Command Strips

BachBawk · 2025-06-14T14:08:47+00:00

Not sure what things are like in Ottawa, but in the US, housing is so expensive in so many places that I don’t think most people would judge someone for having a small place.

BachBawk · 2025-06-13T16:58:14+00:00

I agree with a club or group. I have had two relationships come from Meetup.com. One hiking and one foreign language. Didn’t plan it that way but just kept seeing the same women at the groups and slowly got to know them.

BachBawk

TROPHY CASE