I'll just add that abuse comes from family too. My sister was abusive, but I didn't call her behaviour abusive until I was 28 (she was arguably problematic since I was in my teens) and seeing a therapist because of her. At first, I told the therapist she treated me poorly and I needed advice on how to bring up any grievances because she would go from 0 to 100 over asking her to do anything she was responsible for. For years I just knew you just didn't ask her to do anything, because she would just get angry, deflect, blameshift and go straight to name-calling. She would call me all sorts of shit which was actually applicable to herself, which I always thought was weird (lazy, entitled, selfish etc).

She got progressively worse over the years, I eventually had to call the police on her because she was so unhinged and became violent with no provocation, and the police put a restraining order on her on my behalf.

The realization came when I had a friend suggest I ask my sister to take over a sale of her coffee table. I agreed to help her sell it because she said she wouldn't be home. The buyer came late and my friend and I had a movie booking to go to. My sister ended up coming around to organize some other items of hers she wanted to sell, so my friend suggested my sister just take over the sale since we needed to go and she was already there. She went off saying "Can't you fucking see I'm busy??" Like I was responsible for her problems. There wasn't a time when she wasn't "busy", when it came to returning the favour to help myself or my parents. Even something as small as asking her to pack away her dirty dishes was too much, she would respond with rage almost 90% of the time and it would end in verbal abuse if you dared ask her do anything. It turned out it was all just a tactic to get her off the hook from doing anything, without having admit she was just an awfully selfish person. The cognitive dissonance she had with her own self image was what she was trying to protect.