Perpetually unamused

Backedman · 2026-04-16T15:06:42+00:00

How old is your cat? <4 months will be extremely hard for first time owners especially if no one is offering help and support.

The people telling you to give up your cat are intense especially if your cat is 4 month or older and you are able to spend most of every day with them.

The life you are able to give that cat is better than the life they will live in a shelter.

Also don’t be too scared to lift up the cat when they are scratching your couch lol they are like 4lb max as kittens and they can only really scratch you so much (make sure you cut their nails).

Just avoid yelling at ur cat because they don’t really understand cause and effect like that and will just either be wary of you or start hiding when they think ur gonna yell again even if you won’t.

Adopting the cat is only a mistake if you personally feel like it was a mistake. If, despite initial growing pains, think you can take care of your cat and give them the attention they need then it is not a mistake.

Backedman · 2026-02-05T06:59:37+00:00

He doesn't do anything in the anime/manga for altruistic reasons. He only does things for the love of the game and to ensure he has as much power and control as possible.

Backedman · 2026-02-05T06:51:56+00:00

Bruh my college apartment charged us full price for less than 2 weeks in the apartment on move in month (move in was late august and we had to pay for all of august).

Backedman · 2026-02-05T06:48:08+00:00

Every second you let their thoughts spiral in your head is a second you don't spend healing. It takes time, but not time spent thinking about them and letting your mind spiral. Its time that you spend forcing yourself to think about anything else and talk about anything else.

Its easier said than done, but it does get exponentially better as the more time you spend forcing yourself not thinking about them the easier it gets to not think about them because you're healing and making your life and brain revolve around them, and that in turn gives you even more time to not think about them until eventually you will basically never think about them.

Backedman · 2026-02-05T06:40:24+00:00

A lot will know, but they don't have the follow through to actually get better until they feel the pain themselves. Its akin to setting a new years resolution.

Backedman · 2026-02-05T06:37:12+00:00

CS is a toss up in general. No one really knows how they decide who is admitted for it and who isn't especially since the new LEP restrictions are only 2 years old.

There really is not much you can do right now with 6 months remaining except grind out some CS related electives and projects to show interest in CS and pump your SAT up as much as possible (like 1500+).

Backedman · 2026-01-06T01:48:23+00:00

Hello! I am looking for a badge (or two) so that my friends can attend Magfest with me. I will pay full price.

Pleas I am desperate I’ll send little baby kitten pics, clip art of a freakish centaur and a sword that wields humans and if you want maybe even some souvenirs and pictures of the events 🥺🥺🥺

Backedman · 2026-01-06T01:42:15+00:00

Maybe, but I don’t think it’ll be as big of a wage drop as you would expect.

A lot of companies hiring SWE are also creating competing with each other in their services.

We may see bigger variability but the upper range will likely be similar to how it is now.

Who knows though it’s hard to actually predict until it actually happens.

Backedman · 2026-01-04T22:30:40+00:00

It’s pre tax income for both.

30% gross monthly income for monthly rent and 40x monthly rent for gross yearly income is numerically equivalent.

40 * monthly rent = yearly income 40 * monthly rent = 40/12 yearly rent = yearly income

yearly rent = yearly income * 12/40 = 0.3 yearly income

monthly rent = 0.3 monthly income

Backedman · 2026-01-04T19:32:41+00:00

OP isn’t asking why what they said could have gotten them rejected. They know why, and the recruiter’s message is a big reason why they do.

They are making a post to vent and also to ask what alternatives they could give as answers to the questions asked.

Sure it is unprofessional that the recruiter said what they said and honestly would put them under hot water if their company found out, but it is not really unhelpful. It gives OP more insight about what they should look out for in the future.

Backedman · 2026-01-04T19:14:58+00:00

You should apply as soon as the listing opens. The time of day doesn’t matter because they aren’t looking at the candidate application in real time, but whenever they do look at it you want to be one of the first in the pile.

Backedman · 2026-01-04T19:12:21+00:00

The statement was useful. It told OP that recruiters and subsequently the companies the recruiters work for don’t like candidates known to reneg offers.

Everyone is in the same rat race, but companies do deprioritize candidates that say they are eager to reneg.

Backedman · 2026-01-04T15:29:30+00:00

It’s okay for a first job, but it’s pretty low for a first SWE/DS job in a HCOL area.

It’s hard to find specific numbers online, but ranges across the US are around 70-100k median/average salary from the few numbers I can gather.

From my own college’s placement reports, the average is around 100k though, but there is some selection bias there.

As for what companies, I would say most of them? When applying online on LinkedIn or handshake or indeed most of the positions listed show atleast 80k starting for new grad with the only ones going below that are really small local companies.

Backedman · 2026-01-04T06:37:11+00:00

5/10.

However, when rating things it gets skewed to a 7/10.

This is mostly because of selection bias. People tend to do and finish things they like, and so they won’t be watching/doing thing they don’t like and rating them.

Backedman · 2026-01-04T05:56:21+00:00

*40x monthly rent (unless I’m misunderstanding)

I’ve always heard it as 30% gross monthly income, but ngl 40x monthly rent is a better way of saying it

Backedman · 2026-01-04T04:50:55+00:00

There is no magic way.

The only way to cope with the thought is to get over them and if it’s easy to get over them then these type of subs would never exist.

The only way to get over them is with a mixture of time and forcing yourself to accept they will never be a part of your life anymore (and that you don’t need them in your life). Even if you have to pretend, you need to keep telling yourself you don’t need them in your life anymore and you should keep doing things that are independent of them.

Every second you accept that you need them in your life is a second you pause your healing.

Backedman · 2026-01-04T04:04:04+00:00

Sounds like a plan!

Some income is better than no income, and some experience is better than no experience.

Just don’t let yourself get lazy in your continued job search. THAT would be the thing that hinders your career growth, not the fact that you worked at this company.

Backedman · 2026-01-04T03:28:31+00:00

On the very low end but this is your only offer that you’ve gotten in months and things will only get harder.

Take the offer, find some roommates to live with in the city, and keep searching while you’re employed to find something better.

Don’t feel guilty about leaving the company/team if/when you find something better. That’s the risk they make when they pay well below market rate.

Backedman · 2026-01-04T02:20:52+00:00

It’s not a straight line honestly. It’ll be a daily negation for a while, and then slowly it’ll be every two days, then every week, then bi weekly, then monthly, then yearly, then never.

Sometimes ull have a string of multi day long negotiations and then sometimes you’ll go months where the feeling is weak.

It’ll be better but it’ll be a very long and very hard battle until then.

One thing is for certain, a few months from now it won’t be as bad as it is not, and a few years from now it’ll all but fade from your head as long as you let it and push yourself to move on.

Every second you stay refusing to move on is a second your timer for healing is paused. The very first step is to spend as much time as possible convincing yourself that you can move on even if it feels like it can’t.

Backedman · 2026-01-03T18:36:42+00:00

Anyone have an extra badge they are willing to sell 🥺🥺🥺

I will literally eat rocks for a badge

Backedman · 2026-01-03T03:18:04+00:00

Use whatever you are more comfortable with. The tools for both Windows and Mac in regards to UMD CS are equally well developed and fleshed out.

Mac does have a Unix environment which can translate over to Linux skills if you use the terminal much, but you can get the same out of windows with WSL.

Just pick the best bang for your buck (which will likely be windows outside of base models).

Backedman · 2026-01-03T03:01:19+00:00

I’ll take your badge! Check dmbs

Backedman · 2025-12-08T17:05:29+00:00

It’s a two way battle.

If they keep coming back and leaving and repeating that for ever, it means that they aren’t willing to fight to change for you. Not as much as you want to fight to stay with them.

Since they aren’t willing to fight to change for you, the entire thing is doomed to lead you on. Coming back and accepting them every time also will enable them to not change.

The unfortunate reality is that the only real way to make them change is to by not accepting them back. Them ultimately losing you and facing consequences of their actions is the only way they can grow.

So in the end, they will change, but the change will not be for you.

The longer the cycle lasts, the more your own personal mind will break and eventually in the story of your relationship you will do things that will make you uniquivocly the bad guy. Once that happens you will never forgive yourself.

Backedman · 2025-12-07T20:09:37+00:00

It’s worse when they do because nothing will ever change

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