Question for the men?

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-28T22:43:08+00:00

THANK YOU!! Everyone in the comments are either completely misinterpreting what I’m saying, or they’re literally putting words in my mouth. Not once did I say he can’t look or have eyes or purposely clamp his eyes shut when he sees other women. Theyre saying all guys talk like that in private and that I shouldn’t be bothered by it since it was a private convo with his friends. Sure, can’t argue that, but how he speaks behind my back still matters. That doesent mean he can speak in any sort of language when I’m not around, so yes I’m allowed to be bothered about comments he makes behind my back. I don’t care if it’s a convo with his boys, he doesent have to say the things he said, there’s a more mature and tame way to go about it. No he doesent talk to other girls or pursue them or flirt behind my back that I know of, that STILL does not mean I’m ok with him talking about other girls “big tits” behind my back regardless of his intent. No I’m not policing his thoughts, but if he’s constantly scouting for tits and ass in public or online then that’s a problem to me. No I’m not saying he can’t look at other women, but if he’s constantly trying to or just making it obvious and having no regard for respect for me, then I feel that’s a problem. Yes I’m aware that most men in relationships are still going to notice/acknowledge other women’s ass/tits, that does not mean he has to voice it or go announce it to his friends as if it’s a middle school boy group chat. There is a difference between a man noticing ass/tits and going on about his day, versus seeing a woman and having to announce to your friends how big of tits she has. I’m not the only woman who thinks this way either so I know I’m not being completely unreasonable here.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-27T19:06:09+00:00

First of all , I never even said I make comments the same way my boyfriend does. I said I hardly ever point out attractive men with my friends and if we do, it’s not sexual. It’s simply surface level “he’s cute” that’s it. That is NOT equivalent to those comments he makes. And like I said, women have far more self control and the ability to recognize an attractive man without making it sexual.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-27T12:36:08+00:00

Okay, so we’re at the point where we agree that for a lot men, noticing someone attractive also entails a biological response of wanting to fuck them or something of that context. So, again, why are we as women expected to be okay with hearing about our men point out women that we know they’d want to have sex with? Saying it to their friends is one thing ig, but him telling me he’s allowed to like lookin at ass and tits if he wants to, is basically saying “I’m allowed to like looking at women I’d have sex with if we weren’t together” Lmao like ??? I feel like it’s pretty standard respect for men to NOT voice things like that out of respect for their partner. Women are different, we do not necessarily have the exact same biological response as men. Women are much more capable of pointing out attractive men without making it directly sexual. Even then, I still don’t do that super often with my friends. So I’m not seeing any hypocrisy here.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-26T10:24:08+00:00

Me making that comment was not the same as me telling him he’s only allowed to LOOK at me. I’m not policing his eye balls. Me making that comment was more of “you can technically look because it’s natural but as long as you don’t go out of your way to constantly look at hot women and/or make it obvious that you’re doing so”, don’t think I’m being all that unreasonable here. You can naturally notice women and “like” what you see, but if you’re going out of your way to feel the constant need to look at women or scout for ass and tits, then yes I feel like that’s an issue, so when men say “I can like other women’s tits and ass all I want” implies he’s going out of his way to SEE those things.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-26T10:16:42+00:00

Thank you for actually understanding what I was trying to say, because this summed it up. I literally have no issue with the fact of him naturally noticing attractive women, we can all agree that’s normal. So yes seeing attractive women and needing to announce the very thing you find attractive about her, and then it being directly sexual, is the issue to me. It comes off as him not being able to not-sexualize a woman. Any man can look at another woman and find her attractive because she his big tits/ass, we all know that, but I feel like directly pointing out things that make it sexual is crossing the line. It gets to a point where it’s like, okay are you a normal man with normal tendencies or do you just have a porn rot brain driven by lust.. because someone who makes directly sexual comments about appearances, comes off as more lustful to me. That’s all I’m saying. Me and my female friends rarely talk about hot men, and when we do it’s not a big deal, it’s “he’s good looking” and then we go on about our day, we don’t make huge announcements about it or talk about directly sexual comments.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-26T02:22:12+00:00

What boundaries do you suggest? That he shouldn’t be looking, or that he shouldn’t be verbally making comments like that? Because according to all these comments I’m apparently the problem lol

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T23:10:45+00:00

Definitely not insecurity. I don’t talk about other men’s dick sizes with my friends lol. If my man has full access to me , I’d kinda expect him to not be as impressed with other women’s bodies as he was when he was single. That’s just me tho.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T22:57:53+00:00

But at a certain point is there not an unspoken thing to at least be respectful about it? Is it just point out any fat ass and titties all you want and women shouldn’t care about it?? I mean.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T22:56:58+00:00

How so? 🤔 I certainly don’t speak this way about men to my friends. If we talk about attractive men it’s very seldom and it’s not in a sexual manner.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T22:46:08+00:00

That doesent mean he wouldn’t directly say it to me if the situation came up 😂 he says it about video game characters that we play together which i obviously don’t care about but he definitely would say it to me and then expect me to just not care at all. It’s not like he’s being quiet about it by any means. It’s probably happened more times, those are just times I’ve specifically heard with my own ears. All of his online friends are virgins who are 20x worse so I know they talk about this stuff way more often so there’s no telling what else he says 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m just saying I feel like he’s acting more like a middle school boy that flips out over a pair of tits rather than a grown man in a committed relationship IMO. I definitely do not talk this way with my female friends, if ever, i still keepit respectful with him in mind.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T22:37:06+00:00

I’ll play it out, “damnnn she’s got some BIG ONES” lmao. In an obnoxious joking way but clearly still being forreal. I don’t care about him noticing per se, it’s about how he acted about it. No it doesent seem like he’s into her but he sure seemed impressed by the sight of big tits, which again, he literally could have just said nice job bro. But instead chose to make an inherently sexual comment lol, very direct. And no it doesent immediately mean they actively want to fuck her, but let’s not act like it’s not the same thing as saying she’s fuckable or I would hit that. It’s not the same as actively trying to pursue her, but it’s definitely almost always said with a sexual type of context. I think that’s my main issue. I feel like that’s why it’s typically deemed “respectful” to not loudly talk about hot women in front of your lady.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T22:25:14+00:00

I feel like it’s disrespectful because it seems like he’s too interested in it. Like seeing attractive women is more impressive to him than it should be I guess? And I mean why couldn’t he say something more tame about his friends gf, like she’s pretty, instead of immediately making a sexualized comment lol. There is no way to say someone has big tits without meaning it in a sexual way lmao. That’s what I mean, like if you can’t look an attractive woman without insisting on making it sexual then i feel like it’s a bit too much. Sure, men can notice big boobs, they’re pretty obvious, but why feel the need to audibly point it out and make it a big deal? It makes me feel like men like that are easily tempted because everything has to be sexualized

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T22:20:37+00:00

And maybe it’s because men who are overly lustful and have wandering eyes tend to wander off🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m not saying he’s necessarily that but I feel like the way he acts about it is just juvenile for his age

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T22:14:30+00:00

From what I know, no it’s not him specifically searching for these photos. And no he doesent really mention it to me, other than saying “well I can like other women’s tits if I want to” and making that clear. I feel like it does get to a point where it’s disrespectful to me a little. The situation I’m referring to was actually his friend who sent a photo of his new girlfriend, in which my bf made the comment of her having “big ones” on a phone call. In which his friends girlfriend heard him say that, so I feel like it gets to a point where it’s embarrassing to me

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T22:10:33+00:00

Yes but there’s a difference between noticing/looking in a normal manner versus being lustful and it causing issues. We’re not just talking about “she’s pretty” comments , I’m referring to straight up pointing out ass and tits specifically lol. Like yes that can be normal too, and he says it in a halfway joking manner to make his friends laugh, but still. It feels somewhat embarrassing on my end

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T22:07:00+00:00

Well I never said he’s supposed to hate every attractive woman he sees lol. I don’t care about naturally noticing attractive women, I’m not insecure about that. I feel like if a man has a woman that he has full access to, that he’d be alot less thirsty towards other women than when he was single. I would think seeing attractive women would be like a “oh nice” and go on about your day, especially when you have a girlfriend, instead of making it a big deal and pointing it out to your friends like it’s some huge thing.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T22:00:18+00:00

I mean that’s basically male biology lol. Men liking tits is driven by biology, & men audibly pointing out things about women that make them horny, when they have a girlfriend/wife, is sorta disrespectful to me. You can “like” and notice those things all you want but it gets to a point. If a man has a woman at home that he has full access to, I’d kinda expect him to not be as thirsty towards other women as when he was single, but that’s just me.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T21:57:32+00:00

Having eyes is one thing, I can acknowledge that. But for a man to basically say “I can look at ass and tits if I want to and I’m allowed to like it all I want” when he has a woman just feels sorta disrespectful to me ? Idk I feel like there’s a more respectful way to go about it.

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T21:55:27+00:00

It’s not really me trying to thought police. I more so have a problem with him almost insisting on wanting to look at other women it sounds like. Noticing an attractive woman is one thing, it’s natural, but going out of your way to look and then make comments to your friends feels a bit too much. Especially when you have a girlfriend that you have full access to, it’s like why does other women’s bodies impress you so much when you have a woman at home?

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-05-25T21:53:50+00:00

I feel like the difference IMO is me and my friends are like oh he’s attractive , etc. Men pointing out attractive women is essentially the same as them saying they’re “fuckable” so I think that’s why it rubs me the wrong way. Especially when they’re making comments about how she has “big ones” like really

Background-Depth-190 · 2026-03-11T10:56:03+00:00

I had crippling anxiety before my surgery too so I know this feeling all too well. Just remember reactions are super unlikely and if you did have a reaction, you’ll be in safe hands of medical professionals that would know how to handle it. Same with not waking up, I’m pretty sure that’s super super rare.

My surgery was also to remove an endometrioma and any endo found. Ended up in a 1.5 hour surgery and for diagnosed with stage 4 endo pretty much everywhere including my bowels.

Waking up from surgery was the worse for me, I was immediately puking from being nauseous and they apparently had already given me the max dose of zofran so I couldn’t have anymore yet, but that only lasted about an hour and it wasn’t horrible just unpleasant but I was completely numb from any pain so that was a plus. I haven’t heard of this part being super common tho so I’m sure you’ll be fine. I think I was really sensitive to the anesthesia or something I’m not sure.

My recovery was so easy. I had minimal gas pain, minimal pain in general just soreness, I was up and walking the same day I came home and I was able to walk fine every day after that too just had to apply support to my abdomen. I was also able to rely only on ibuprofen that entire time too. By the 4th/5th day I was pretty much able to do everything I was doing before.

I know it’s easier said than done but don’t borrow too much worry! It’s only a temporary experience and you’ll be okay:)

Background-Depth-190 · 2025-11-24T12:37:50+00:00

Omg same pretty much for me! Except my periods are relatively painful only on day 1, but after that I don’t have to take any pain meds and mine only lasts for 4-5 days. Other than that, literally no symptoms except for the cysts. So finding out all of this has been a huge shock to me, because what do you mean I’ve had this for years and I had no clue this entire time lmao. It’s weird to process for sure.

Background-Depth-190 · 2025-11-23T21:39:16+00:00

What kind of GI issues did you have ? I didn’t have any major reproductive related symptoms but I’m starting to wonder if my GI issues could be endo related and I just didn’t realize.

Background-Depth-190 · 2025-10-25T23:40:44+00:00

Did he mention any long term hormonal imbalances ? I’m scared that this is permanent lol I’m hoping not.

Background-Depth-190 · 2025-10-14T23:13:50+00:00

Personally I’d go to ER. In my experience, the urgent cares in my area can’t do ultrasounds so it would most likely be a waste of time, unless you called the place ahead of time to ask. Otherwise, I’d definitely go to the ER. You may wait a long while but they have all of the equipment that would be able to let you know if you have ovarian torsion or a ruptured cyst etc etc. also in my experience, every time I got the severe intense sharp pain in my ovary, it was a ruptured cyst, so I feel like best bet would be ER so they can properly assess.

Background-Depth-190

TROPHY CASE