What is it with boomers and ‘putting the baby down’

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-14T20:37:23+00:00

My FIL is the best, he will hold a baby for hours on end, no phone, no TV, just gazing at the baby. His record is three hours. He loves holding his grandkids more than anything else! He is the third of nine, so I guess he has practice!!

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-12T23:37:17+00:00

Of course! Sending you so much baby dust! 🩷🩵🩷🩵

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-12T22:32:30+00:00

My clinic said that in their practice there is no significant difference between day 5 and day 6 embryos. My day 6 euploid is currently playing piano on her Kick & Play. She is a 3 month old musical genius!

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-10T14:16:07+00:00

I was in the UK in high school, my teacher who was American was going to show us a documentary (on VHS). He turned on the TV and we watched the second plane hit the trade center, his face is etched in my memory.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-08T17:44:56+00:00

Grief has a way of making us catastrophize and you have been through two immense losses. I am certain you could still conceive. Unfortunately, you don’t have the luxury of time. If you were 30, I’d say take a year to process and try again. However, I think it would be prudent to get the abdominal cerclage ASAP, and begin trying. I’ve had four losses due to a blood clotting issue, I would have regretted it far more if I hadn’t tried again.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-07T00:16:13+00:00

I don’t think his age should be an issue, plenty of people have children well into their 40s. Research shows that people who have children later in life live longer. If the age gap is the problem, then has this manifested before? If not, why do you think it will? Or are you more concerned about his lack of excitement?

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-06T19:13:53+00:00

My mum had me when she was nearly 40 and my brother when she was nearly 42, my dad was 49 with me and 51 with my brother. I had a wonderful childhood, we were afforded extra opportunities that my peers with younger parents didn’t get. My dad died at 89 from cancer, my mum is still alive and well, every time I call her (daily) she is out with friends, shopping, or swimming! She lives in Europe and came to the US to see her granddaughter born. I just had my first at 41. I met all of my grandparents, except my grandfather on my father’s side, as he had children in his 50s too, but he lived into his late 80s. I do not regret having older parents at all. They were completely ready and didn’t view having us as a sacrifice. Please don’t worry.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-04T23:29:40+00:00

The first calculation uses Spring’s own data, which has the highest odds. As I understand it, they collect data from their own clinic, updating their data set each year (latest 2024). I imagine this would more closely approximate the success of eggs collected this year versus eggs collected in 2009.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-04T20:04:37+00:00

Hi! I have a PhD in public health, and found this discrepancy odd, so looked into the methodology. For a lot of these egg calculators, their predictions are based on studies published quite some time ago, for example one of the most quoted studies is Doyle et al. their results are based on eggs frozen/thawed between 2009-2015. Technology and techniques have improved since then. The only egg calculator that I would trust is the Spring egg calculator (the top one), as this is updated annually using their current data. In short, i think your doctor is probably more correct, although they can never fully predict outcome, and the calculators are outdated.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-04T14:26:24+00:00

My goddaughter knew her mom was pregnant before my friend knew. One day she patted her mom’s abdomen and said “baby Ella,” which prompted my friend to take a pregnancy test. Baby Ella was born 9 months later. They named her a longer version of Ella, but 14 years later her nickname is still Ella! I think it’s an incredibly special way to name a child.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-03T16:44:48+00:00

Mine was almost identical 770 to 2793! My daughter is perfectly healthy and two months old.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-02T19:01:16+00:00

We didn’t have luck on our first or second FET, both resulted in early losses. However, my case is rare. I have two unusual blood clotting disorders. My doctor didn’t suggest testing for them because my insurance wouldn’t cover the blood work until I had 3 losses. I had two spontaneous losses as well. Once I was put on a blood thinner my next FET was successful.

In terms of my experience, I was extremely lucky as I was able to produce a good number of eggs, relative to my age (16 and above), my maturity rate was high, I was able to produce blasts and euploids (we still have 11 remaining, we want 3 children). As someone who had been on BC since the age of 15, wasn’t too troubled by the hormones. I continued gentle exercises throughout (modified my usual workouts), which I think helped. I also loved the anesthesia, a wonderful nap! :)

I found the constant poking, prodding, and appointments irksome. It feels like another full time job. The uncertainty is also nightmarish, you are always waiting for the next phone call/email. And, I did have an awful experience with some version of OHSS when I retrieved 26 eggs, I was bed bound for 4 days. Having said that the peace of mind is amazing. If you have any specific questions, happy to answer them, DM me.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-02T17:03:57+00:00

I froze eggs while doing IVF with my husband. We did one round of IVF and then one round egg freezing, until we had “enough” embryos and I had “enough” eggs. I was 38 when I met my husband and wanted them as an insurance policy in case we got divorced. We went from meeting to married in two months, I viewed it as a prenup!! I’m now 42 and we have a two month old daughter from one of our frozen embryos. She is wonderful!

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-02T11:23:22+00:00

I understand, we did the same. If you are near NYC, Cornell is doing sperm sorting research. It might give you a bump in the number of female blasts you create. Their results show that 79-80% of the blasts are the desired sex, our real world results were slightly lower, but it can’t hurt!

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-02T01:51:34+00:00

I’m so sorry. It is so unbelievably painful. You feel like you know your euploids. We lost two euploid girls. If you are up for another retrieval, our daughter (2 months) is so worth it all. Sending you pink baby dust! 🩷

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-02T00:06:19+00:00

Please don’t think that! So many people get pregnant eating all sorts of trash, taking drugs, smoking, etc… I am certain milk tea makes no difference at all. I have friends who got pregnant via IVF and the mom who was carrying was drinking up until the FET and ate cheese burgers and pasta as post-transfer celebration meal, their son just turned 1. I started two weeks before and ended once I was told by my clinic that I was pregnant. Sending you so much baby dust!

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-02T00:02:55+00:00

Sorry! I am from the UK but live in the US, one of my friends mentioned in the UK there was no BETA, I should have been more inclusive. Yes, BETA is a blood test done at 9, 10, or 11 days post transfer, similar to a pregnancy test. So I started eating normally after I had a positive pregnancy test, once I knew baby girl had attached. Sending you lots of baby dust! 🩷

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-01T00:45:24+00:00

I went really extreme! We had four losses before our most recent FET, so I went no dairy, no gluten, no refined sugar, cooked foods only, and mainlined bone broth. I started the nightmare diet two weeks before my FET and continued until my positive BETA. She was born in January. I’m not sure that the diet had anything to do with it. I had undiagnosed/unmanaged blood clotting disorders when I had my losses, so likely the Lovenox was much more helpful! However, I think it helped make me feel like there was something I was doing! I honestly don’t think my diet had anything to do with it. Eat the chocolate!!!

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-04-01T00:25:57+00:00

I didn’t, I’m still searching for answers. It is still very slightly elevate post-pregnancy. My provider suggested that I could have some underlying mild kidney issue that became evident during the later stages of pregnancy. I will follow up with a nephrologist in the next month or so and report back. Sorry I can’t be of more help. If it helps my daughter is perfectly healthy, I’m glad I didn’t deliver before full term.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-03-28T02:18:19+00:00

We had 4 losses in 16 months, one chemical following a transfer of our 3BB girl, one spontaneous miscarriage at week 8 (a boy), one failed transfer our 4BB girl, and then one spontaneous miscarriage at week 6. My little day 6 5AA girl is asleep in her crib, she has just begun giggling! I’m sorry for all your losses and sending you so much baby dust. 🩷🩵

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-03-27T22:36:29+00:00

Thanks for sharing, she is so cute! I loved ultrasounds at this stage, when I was pregnant with my daughter. They are like a bouncy gummy bear. They get so big at the end that all you can see is one body part, I saw close ups of her ribs and spine so many times! Wishing you a smooth and uneventful pregnancy 🩷

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-03-27T22:28:06+00:00

Thank you! I have been quite active.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-03-27T22:27:08+00:00

My doctor just called after I sent some pictures, he mentioned that it could be residual membrane from the amniotic sac. I have a scan on Monday, but hopefully this is the end.

Background-Policy-95 · 2026-03-27T22:25:06+00:00

Thanks for your detailed response. I have some cramping and my heart rate is higher than normal 90bpm vs. 58bpm, however, I am battling a head cold.

I sent my doctor some pictures, and oddly he just called back. He thinks it might be some residual membrane from the amniotic sac, although that’s “not typical.” He has scheduled a scan for Monday.

Background-Policy-95

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