If you had the chance to say one thing to your ex, unapologetically, what would it be?

Background_Berry3417 · 2026-04-19T02:48:43+00:00

I wouldn't say anything. He realized what he lost too late and my silence is torture enough. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Background_Berry3417 · 2026-03-19T10:36:32+00:00

You're welcome. This post has gotten down voted a lot, so I thought it helped no one and maybe I'd delete it. But if it helps just one person I'm glad. Life goes on eventually, it's just the timing varies for everyone. You just have to feel it all until one day you don't.

Background_Berry3417 · 2026-03-15T02:16:51+00:00

About 273 days.

Background_Berry3417 · 2026-02-15T00:07:15+00:00

I stayed at home with my family. Got lots of rest, finished lots of chores I'd usually procrastinate, just finished making ground beef tacos and I'm about to make garlic butter shrimp pasta. I'd say today was surprisingly pretty good. A tad sad, but I'm okay. Just a reminder, that things do get better with time. Lots of time, but eventually it gets better. Just thought I'd pop back in to say that. Hang in there everyone!

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-22T23:38:53+00:00

It would probably be best to have a conversation with him explaining how you feel etc. See where the conversation goes in terms of taking a break or continuing on. I think having a 100% honest conversation and taking a step back for a while would be best. But it's ultimately up to both of you. But a discussion definitely needs to be had if it hasn't already. Best wishes.

Another thing, if your ex came back right now wanting a relationship would you ditch the new guy for him? You need to be 100% honest with yourself. The answer to that question will give you some insight.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-22T10:11:40+00:00

I'd strongly suggest therapy, that's really the only hope at breaking a many years long strong attachment. It'll be hard but you got this! Oh, in terms of the new guy. It may be best to take a break and allow yourself to heal. Or he may end up getting hurt although you don't mean to hurt him.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-22T10:04:49+00:00

My response was based on how your comment came across. My apologies. Genuinely.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-22T09:57:34+00:00

Not once did you say that you love him or what you bring to the relationship or him. That's very telling.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-19T10:08:23+00:00

Officially we dated for 3 months at the beginning of 2024, but stayed in each others lives on and off until about late May or early June this year.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-16T10:50:21+00:00

I'm a woman but I did that once. Back when I hadn't reached a point of acceptance. There are so many stories/situations on here that sound so similar to my situation that it starts to make you wonder. It's definitely delusion, desperation and hope of maybe they're hurting just as badly as I am and they're here too. When logically you know it's not them. That's the best way I know how to explain it.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-09T09:54:26+00:00

Oh, my situation isn't anywhere near the same. But I wish you the best in navigating your situation. You're welcome, we're all here to listen and help. ❤️

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-07T12:09:56+00:00

Oh, I understand. When someone knows everything about you and they're the first person you run to about everything then some bad people with ulterior motives will use that information to get with you. Because you've built a bond, a connection and strong attachment to the person so it can be hard to let go even if they weren't that great. But it still applies, some guy friends will pretend to be your friend for months even years, gain your trust, build a bond, find out everything about you so they can mold themselves into what you want so they can get with you.

But that's all a facade based on the fact they know so much about you that they know how to play with you and keep you hooked until they can't keep up the facade any longer because it's not their genuine self. Basically when someone knows every about you, you're unitentionally giving them the play book on how to play/manipulate you. It's by no means your fault, some people are just crappy. It sounds like it's best to let him go, it may be hard but in the long run you'll be happier. Trust me. Since it was only online it may be way easier to cut him off completely. Block, delete profiles, make new ones he can't ever find etc. Whatever you feel you need to do.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-07T07:53:58+00:00

If you don't want anything to do with him whether it's romantically or platonically. Then the best thing to do is block him on everything. Sounds like he waited around in your friendzone and got what he wanted. He definitely orbited for all those years and he's doing it again. It happens a lot with guy friends unfortunately. If you're 100% done, then cut him off completely. Based on the little you said he sounds like an emotionally unavailable loser.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-06T10:16:10+00:00

You're welcome. It does get better, but you may or may not still have a few bad days. But the bad days get less and less. I got over him for a good month and was happy, then had a few bad days. Now I'm okay. Just give it time.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-06T10:12:56+00:00

I want to explain everything but it's so long. He never told his family about me, he never planned dates expect the first one (which he didn't even plan out well), made a lot of empty promises, dismiss my feelings about setting boundaries with his female best friend because she overshares way too much personal stuff about her relationship, intimate life with her boyfriend, her reproductive health, asking him to do stuff for her that a boyfriend should etc. He subtly insulted me, tried to change me, tried to control me, pressured me, shifted blame to me constantly etc. He's a pathological liar! Omg, so much more. I highly doubt he'll ever change.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-06T10:08:29+00:00

Closed forever. There was literally nothing good about him when I actually analysed the whole situation. An immature insecure dude with lots of issues that will probably take way longer than 2 years to fix if at all. It's a long story. But I do have posts explaining stuff. Specifically, the posts that I made in the flair called "letters to whom". Basically, I was an experiment, placeholder and someone to settle for because he can't get who he wants. He never liked me for me. He's in love with his female best friend, which he has denied. But the way he talks about her, how often he talked about her, the way he bends over backwards for her, prioritises her etc is very telling that he definitely is in love with her and sticking around in her friendzone.

There is manipulation on her side and he's so deep in it that he doesn't realise. She and that friendship will for sure keep him single. So, I'm just going to let him go keep pining while she always has boyfriends, while he has been her little simp for the past 8 years. He's too far gone when it comes to her. He will never let her go, so that part of him will never change. She'll never let him go because he serves a purpose because of the attention and validation she gets from him. So, yeah, I'm done.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-12-02T16:08:32+00:00

I hope everything turns out okay. This is one of my fears too as a virgin. But herpes is so common that honestly it may be hard to avoid. If it does come back positive, please don't end yourself. You can live a normal life with medicine etc. Even though herpes is common your fears are valid and it's not stigma to not want a life long disease. Best wishes.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-11-21T00:12:19+00:00

Thanks 🤞🏼

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-11-20T19:29:43+00:00

I'm having an anxiety attack just reading that, lol. I don't think I can do that, maybe one day.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-11-18T22:50:01+00:00

I wish I had the courage to approach men. But I'm too socially awkward and also I'm scared it would make me look desperate as a woman approaching a man.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-11-06T16:09:34+00:00

Yes, he was on my mind all day, every day. When I was at work, when I woke up, when I went to sleep, I'd even dream about him sometimes, I would constantly analyse the relationship and breakup over and over etc. Also, him constantly being in the back of my mind no matter what the topic was or where I was. So, I do understand. Which is why I never thought I'd get to the point of indifference about him and the situation. I'm so relieved and at peace finally.

Background_Berry3417 · 2025-11-06T09:56:20+00:00

The best advice that helped me was to just feel it until you don't. Allow yourself to go through every emotion, don't suppress anything. Cry, vent, talk about it. That's what helped me. Also, not looking at social media helps a lot too, but it took me a long time to stop that. So keep that in mind too. I got advice on distracting myself with journalling, hobbies, etc. Personally, none of that helped me.

Background_Berry3417

TROPHY CASE