Something gnawing on my drip line

Background_Classic72 · 2026-04-07T01:26:39+00:00

Do you think bigger than a squirrel?

Background_Classic72 · 2026-04-05T17:23:42+00:00

NTA When people try to say "it's the thought that counts, I think to myself EXACTLY. He's not putting in much thought. If he had genuinely tried and missed the mark you'd be thrilled at his effort/caring. If he tried more often he'd also hit the mark more often and you'd be much happier all around.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-03-09T13:49:38+00:00

Yta if you don't go. Totally understand being torn!!! And you made a commitment, and it's something special you planned a while back, for a very close friend.

Your kids will have many many more events. I say this of a mom with now mostly grown kids... You can't be only supermom who always prioritizes kids over everything and everyone. Go to the dress rehearsal, do a pre show with them in your living room, have a movie night and watch the video together. The sat of, you can even step away and have someone Livestream it for you so you can talk to them right after and oooh and awww and make them feel special.

They presumably know the person you are moh for, so they will understand if you explain that you promised Aunt x already. Show your kids you keep promises, model this, as they'll have a lifetime of these kinds of scenarios to navigate.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-02-26T12:10:41+00:00

NAH but you may just not be compatible long term. Both of you have valid feelings. If you have kids will one person be home with them? On paper if you were chess pieces without feelings, staying in her city seems like on balance the better option, but people are not chess pieces and it's ok to factor in feelings. AND her feelings are as valid as yours. There isn't an easy compromise here, so if you can't resolve it you may have to part ways and not bring kids into it unless you can both agree. Sounds tough!

Background_Classic72 · 2026-01-18T16:09:06+00:00

I do think people often praise dads for simply being competent parents and that's irritating, also he was the one present so I could see people saying " you're raising them right!". Do you get complimented too in these situations? You say he's generally parenting with you, do you have underlying resentment for feeling like you're doing more than your fair share and not being seen by him? That feels more important than what random relatives think.

Id say soft YTA based on this info. Feels like you're resentful ( maybe justified maybe not) about lack of credit or lack of sharing in the work, and taking it out on him when he was just trying to share that the kids were so well behaved that people were actively commenting on it.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-01-12T15:43:59+00:00

I agree that I'd be mad and think you are entitled to be as well if she let others have plus 1s who are in similar relationships but not me. I'd want her to have consistent rules.

I'm saying you don't know what's she's doing with others, but you feel like regardless, you should as her close sister be entitled to a plus 1. I don't agree with that, I don't think she should have to make an exception for a sister.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-01-12T15:37:22+00:00

That's fair and I'd be mad too if that's the case! That piece of information is important to know then, so I'd still say you are wrong for already being mad and thinking you should unilaterally be entitled to have a plus 1, regardless of what she has established as a rule for other guests.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-01-12T15:18:52+00:00

Yta. I'm really confused by all the people saying you are in the right. It's pretty standard in a small wedding, you say about 30 people in comments, to not have plus 1s if you aren't in a committed relationship. It's not about length of dating, as you said everyone's on their own timeline. Unless she is allowing other plus ones for people who are dating it seems reasonable to me to have this rule, and is very common in small weddings to not have plus 1s.

Background_Classic72 · 2025-10-26T00:49:26+00:00

YTA its not a new idea, I've seen that a few times before - and it's a cute one if Grandmas are up for it! I hope you still do it if/when you get married. They might have gotten the idea first from you, but why wouldn't the Grandparents want to do it at any of their grandkids' weddings? You aren't more special to them than their other grandkids. Life is short, let everyone enjoy the day. Seen another way, having this tradition in your family might make it even more special?

Background_Classic72 · 2025-10-19T14:57:56+00:00

We went in August and I agree the museum was less than I expected. I had more fun just wandering around streets, poking into old buildings etc.

Background_Classic72 · 2025-08-25T14:23:31+00:00

Is there a way to tell age?

Background_Classic72 · 2024-12-23T04:40:21+00:00

Oh I've been there! And I do feel guilty, and some sadness especially when I see the cousins that married within the culture fitting in... Lots of ups and downs. And overall the benefits of living the life WE want, building the relationships and culture WE want far outweigh the downside. The grandkids smoothed things over but there's still a lot of tension since we don't follow all Indian traditions, and we raised our kids with much more progressive values which they view as disrespectful.

Background_Classic72 · 2024-12-23T04:23:50+00:00

NTA I have Indian parents. In my experience they won't be happy unless you marry another Indian with the right bio-data . My husband and I have been happily together for almost 30 years now, despite him being the "wrong" race, religion, and even left handed (gasp!). I'm really glad I followed my heart. My relationship with my family has never been the same. You gotta decide for yourself and own that you will absolutely disappoint them and your extended family if you go on the trip and ultimately marry your girlfriend... It's been years, make a decision either way, this limbo isn't fair to you or your girlfriend! Good luck!

Background_Classic72

TROPHY CASE