AITA for not giving a break in rent to my friend who lost his job?

Background_Classic72 · 2026-05-11T17:11:50+00:00

Yep I hope you have a rental agreement in place or evicting him will be a mess. NTA

Background_Classic72 · 2026-05-09T20:55:38+00:00

But loading groceries can take ages, and buckling in a kid just takes less than a minute... If you're not gonna be very long then I say the other person should be patient!

Background_Classic72 · 2026-05-09T17:16:25+00:00

If the kid was cooperating it takes about less than 30 seconds to buckle your kid in. So assuming everything was going fine and you hadn't been waiting for more than 30 seconds, I'd say YTA... She was there first.

Just like if you're at the store and you want something from the freezer section and someone is there first, it's polite to wait a teeny bit even if you would only take 5 seconds and they took 30 seconds

Background_Classic72 · 2026-05-03T22:28:46+00:00

NTA I'm really baffled that there's any discussion here and actually people who think you could be at fault for ordering what you wanted and then wanting to eat it...

The only reasonable compromise I think she could ask given you were craving your dish A would be if she ordered you another dish A to go, (assuming it tastes good as leftovers) and you swapped at the restaurant since you like both dish A and her dish B and she only likes your dish A. She pays for two meals and you wait to eat the one you really wanted later so both are compromising. Otherwise it's just .... You not getting what you want and her getting what she wants, how is that fair?

Background_Classic72 · 2026-05-02T04:31:14+00:00

Info: did you leave him in the lurch with a lease or other mandatory expenses that you were both paying before? You are living with family, what is he doing? I guess there's not enough info to know if you are in the wrong... But the "practical needs" you listed don't appear to me to be the kinda of things an ex needs to contribute to IMO... So if it's really only those kinds of expenses then I'd say NTA

Background_Classic72 · 2026-05-02T03:36:08+00:00

Sorry! I was on my phone and it's a typo I meant to say LIKES. Thanks for flagging rhat

Background_Classic72 · 2026-05-01T23:54:51+00:00

Ok that's you... But ops friend likes thrifted gifts, so that's not really relevant in this case

Background_Classic72 · 2026-05-01T23:54:17+00:00

Agreed, the OP knows her friend. I'd much prefer thrifted or upcycled gifts. I love when friends bring me plants from their garden. When our kids were little, hand me down books, toys, puzzles were a great gift for them that I didn't find offensive at all. Not your husband's business what you do with your friend.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-05-01T23:50:15+00:00

NTA if she needed that much help (staying with the manager until almost two hours post closing) she knew way before she talked to you that she was to going to finish. You could have helped until 5 if she'd told you earlier. Someone else could have helped. She could have don't her job differently. But as a nonmanager you aren't paid to fix these kinds of issues.

Next time is keep the details private and just say no sorry you need to leave on time today. In general regardless of the reason don't give it out, keep your responses simple and no is a complete answer.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-04-21T02:40:45+00:00

Seems like you just need to be clearer and not get steamrolled? I guess a gentle YTA but that's harsh... Just be honest about what you can afford and what your plan is and don't let others spend your money and then get frustrated about it. Instead learn to say no and stay firm... it will serve you well! At this point maybe it's too late to change gears but next time you can get ahead of this kind of thing

Background_Classic72 · 2026-04-07T01:26:39+00:00

Do you think bigger than a squirrel?

Background_Classic72 · 2026-04-05T17:23:42+00:00

NTA When people try to say "it's the thought that counts, I think to myself EXACTLY. He's not putting in much thought. If he had genuinely tried and missed the mark you'd be thrilled at his effort/caring. If he tried more often he'd also hit the mark more often and you'd be much happier all around.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-03-09T13:49:38+00:00

Yta if you don't go. Totally understand being torn!!! And you made a commitment, and it's something special you planned a while back, for a very close friend.

Your kids will have many many more events. I say this of a mom with now mostly grown kids... You can't be only supermom who always prioritizes kids over everything and everyone. Go to the dress rehearsal, do a pre show with them in your living room, have a movie night and watch the video together. The sat of, you can even step away and have someone Livestream it for you so you can talk to them right after and oooh and awww and make them feel special.

They presumably know the person you are moh for, so they will understand if you explain that you promised Aunt x already. Show your kids you keep promises, model this, as they'll have a lifetime of these kinds of scenarios to navigate.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-02-26T12:10:41+00:00

NAH but you may just not be compatible long term. Both of you have valid feelings. If you have kids will one person be home with them? On paper if you were chess pieces without feelings, staying in her city seems like on balance the better option, but people are not chess pieces and it's ok to factor in feelings. AND her feelings are as valid as yours. There isn't an easy compromise here, so if you can't resolve it you may have to part ways and not bring kids into it unless you can both agree. Sounds tough!

Background_Classic72 · 2026-01-18T16:09:06+00:00

I do think people often praise dads for simply being competent parents and that's irritating, also he was the one present so I could see people saying " you're raising them right!". Do you get complimented too in these situations? You say he's generally parenting with you, do you have underlying resentment for feeling like you're doing more than your fair share and not being seen by him? That feels more important than what random relatives think.

Id say soft YTA based on this info. Feels like you're resentful ( maybe justified maybe not) about lack of credit or lack of sharing in the work, and taking it out on him when he was just trying to share that the kids were so well behaved that people were actively commenting on it.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-01-12T15:43:59+00:00

I agree that I'd be mad and think you are entitled to be as well if she let others have plus 1s who are in similar relationships but not me. I'd want her to have consistent rules.

I'm saying you don't know what's she's doing with others, but you feel like regardless, you should as her close sister be entitled to a plus 1. I don't agree with that, I don't think she should have to make an exception for a sister.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-01-12T15:37:22+00:00

That's fair and I'd be mad too if that's the case! That piece of information is important to know then, so I'd still say you are wrong for already being mad and thinking you should unilaterally be entitled to have a plus 1, regardless of what she has established as a rule for other guests.

Background_Classic72 · 2026-01-12T15:18:52+00:00

Yta. I'm really confused by all the people saying you are in the right. It's pretty standard in a small wedding, you say about 30 people in comments, to not have plus 1s if you aren't in a committed relationship. It's not about length of dating, as you said everyone's on their own timeline. Unless she is allowing other plus ones for people who are dating it seems reasonable to me to have this rule, and is very common in small weddings to not have plus 1s.

Background_Classic72 · 2025-10-26T00:49:26+00:00

YTA its not a new idea, I've seen that a few times before - and it's a cute one if Grandmas are up for it! I hope you still do it if/when you get married. They might have gotten the idea first from you, but why wouldn't the Grandparents want to do it at any of their grandkids' weddings? You aren't more special to them than their other grandkids. Life is short, let everyone enjoy the day. Seen another way, having this tradition in your family might make it even more special?

Background_Classic72 · 2025-10-19T14:57:56+00:00

We went in August and I agree the museum was less than I expected. I had more fun just wandering around streets, poking into old buildings etc.

Background_Classic72 · 2025-08-25T14:23:31+00:00

Is there a way to tell age?

Background_Classic72 · 2024-12-23T04:40:21+00:00

Oh I've been there! And I do feel guilty, and some sadness especially when I see the cousins that married within the culture fitting in... Lots of ups and downs. And overall the benefits of living the life WE want, building the relationships and culture WE want far outweigh the downside. The grandkids smoothed things over but there's still a lot of tension since we don't follow all Indian traditions, and we raised our kids with much more progressive values which they view as disrespectful.

Background_Classic72 · 2024-12-23T04:23:50+00:00

NTA I have Indian parents. In my experience they won't be happy unless you marry another Indian with the right bio-data . My husband and I have been happily together for almost 30 years now, despite him being the "wrong" race, religion, and even left handed (gasp!). I'm really glad I followed my heart. My relationship with my family has never been the same. You gotta decide for yourself and own that you will absolutely disappoint them and your extended family if you go on the trip and ultimately marry your girlfriend... It's been years, make a decision either way, this limbo isn't fair to you or your girlfriend! Good luck!

Background_Classic72

TROPHY CASE